What's true love?
by 2passions
Summary: Joan Dhans moves from America to England and goes to Hogwarts there she struggles more with love then the ordinary "change school problems"
1. Chapter 1

The very beginning

**The very beginning**

I couldn't help being a bit nervous, I knew there wasn't going to happen anything bad, but still…My father and I had spoken to professor Dumbledore, he had told me he'd look after me and make sure everything would go right, but he also warned me it could be difficult. After all, not a lot of young wizards changed of school during their school career. I might even be the first to come to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Now here I was in London, standing in front of the great Hogwarts express. I felt small and insecure, I'd noticed a lot of people looking at me, which I tried to ignore.

"Hi there", sounded a friendly voice from behind me:" First year?" she asked friendly. I looked to a small woman, behind her stood three tall guys and a small girl who all had nearly red hair. I smiled thankfully as I nodded my head. "Ah no problem", she said. And I saw that two of the tall red-haired boys smiled at each other, I now saw they were identical twins. I also now saw there was a boy with dark hair, as my look went over his face I suddenly recognised him: Harry Potter! "I'm Molly Weasley" the woman continued. I looked her in the eyes and then turned my eyes down as I said: "Joan Dhanes, nice to meet you." She smiled at me, turned a hundred and eighty degrees around as she pointed at the children behind her:" This is Ginny, Ron, Fred and George and of course Harry."

" Yeah one of the twins said, accept that I'm George, not Fred!"

"owwhh" Mrs Weasley responded. I noticed they all looked at me before Harry asked me: "You're not a first year are you?" I smiled, "no, I'm not."

"owh I'm sorry dears, but you'll have to get on the train now.", said Mrs Weasley.

A few minutes later I sat in a compartment with Fred, George, Ron, Harry, Ginny and Hermione, they all wondered who I was of course. After I explained that my father and I had moved, which caused I had to change of school, Hermione asked which house and year I would be in. "I don't know" I confessed. "We'll see in about an hour, no?"


	2. Chapter 2

The very beginning

**Important decision **

Dumbledore told me I shouldn't go with the first years, because I had to be introduced to the entire school what so ever. So I followed Ron Harry and Hermione-Fred and George were vanished-to the great hall.

After the sorting ceremony professor Dumbledore said he had a special announcement. "As some of you might have noticed, there's another new student at Hogwarts this year." He smiled at me: "I see she's already sitting at Gryffindor table. Please, miss Dhanes, come over here" he said cheerful. I felt my heart beating into my throat, as I stood up walked to professor Dumbledore. The great hall was very silent and I felt everybody looking at me. " Well", said Albus:" This, my dears, is Joan Dhanes, she has moved to England and now comes to Hogwarts. Because not all school systems are the same, Joan has no idea in which house or year she should follow classes. We all know of course there is an answer to everything. So today we'll give a special dedication for our beloved sorting hat!" he replied for the entire hall. "If you wish Joan", he softly pushed me towards professor McGonagall. I went sitting on the little crutch and she placed the hat upon my head. "Well well" this one replied" hmm lets see.. as house we'll have… GRYFFINDOR!! -The entire Gryffindor house yelled.- then for your classes. Hmm let's start with potions…"

After sitting half an hour under the hat my nerves were cooled down and I could eat normally. "This is great", Hermione said: "We'll have potions and defence against the dark arts together!" "yeah well, she'll have all the rest with us." Fred smiled, daring to Hermione.

The next morning professor McGonagall. Brought their hours planning. "Pff I'm going to get lost!" I said desperately. "No problem We'll al help you!"

"What do we start with.."

"HA", George said "your first class is with us"

"as is your second!", said Fred. Which resulted in two hours full off fun. Then Fred and George led me to potions. I thanked them and waited for the rest, pretty soon Hermione, Harry and Ron arrived. "Hi, how were your first lessons?" Hermione asked.

"Fun" I replied. And I could see at there faces they hadn't expected anything else.

The Slytherins arrived, with a blond haired boy ahead. I hated the look upon his face, but his face itself was rather handsome. "Ahh", he said: "Potter", he spotted. "I see your friends Weasley here and mud blood Granger are still at your side." I was a bit overwhelmed, he was a real jerk! "But you've got a new girlfriend?" he looked at me: " Dhanes, it was?" I nodded.

"Well well"

"Back off Malfoy", Ron said. But he didn't. "Tell me, do you actually hang out with them willingly or because they are the only ones to accept you?" I was shocked for a moment but then I recovered:" Maybe the both of them, these are great people and I very well know that if I had been in Slytherin, I wouldn't have been accepted that well. At least seeing you, I know." I said. Now Malfoy was a bit overwhelmed. And before he could recover we had to go in. It wasn't a fun class at all, luckily I'm pretty good at potions, at least at this level.

It felt pretty stupid that the only classes I had with Ron, Harry and Hermione were with Malfoy as well. Not that bad because he's a totally jackass, but because I keep detecting myself at thinking he actually seemed so sweet and tender.

The other classes of course were so much fun I liked Fred and George, maybe more than I should.


	3. Chapter 3

The very beginning

**What's in a Malfoy?**

The next weeks I forced myself to hate Malfoy and everything he did. But as I tried to hate him, I realized I was constantly looking at him. So I forced myself not to look at him anymore. This only worked for two days, so after two weeks of desperately trying to hate Draco, I decided to give up and just tried to hide it as much as I could. Snape had other plans for me, after being drowned into homework for 5 weeks, He decided we would have to work in pairs soon. We figured that I could work with Ron and Harry could work with Hermione, because leaving the two boys together would be just pathetic. The day after woods Snape messed up our plans: "So, I'll divide you in pairs", he said." eum, Weasley and Goyle you'll be one pair, Potter and Crabbe, Granger you'll fit great with Parkinson and Dhanes you'll form a pair with Malfoy,…" "O no"I thought. I looked at Ron, Harry and Hermione, they all looked a bit pissed, but also were happy not to have to work with Malfoy as well. I looked at Malfoy, he was looking at me as well and grinned mean. I stood up took my books together and dawdled to Malfoy's desk. "Not to sad are you? I mean, you look like you have to go into the dark forest , where you need to search some hippogriffs poop together or something." he said, still with a mean grin. "We both don't want this so let's make it as nice as we can " I answered. "whatever." For the rest of the hour we didn't say a word, but his hand dared to touch mine once accidentally and then we both pulled our hands back quickly.

A few days later we were at potions again, "so", Malfoy said:" You're in the Quidditch

team now?"-

"Yes I am actually, why do you care?"-

" We both know Quidditch interests me don't we?"

I looked at him: " what do you want?"

-"Wow, take it easy I'm just trying to be nice, ok?" -

"right" But I, pretty shocked, had to commit he looked pretty disappointed. The rest of the hour we were silent and didn't saw a word. But when the hour was over I quickly apologized. He smiled at me with the clear meaning: it's ok.

When we got down the great hall Ron began to nag: "Goyle really is a stupid dump ass, he ruins everything!"

" Well sorry, but Crabbe isn't much better!", Harry responded. They decided to organize a little secret contest: who's more stupid, Goyle or Crabbe? I looked at Hermione after I decided this was way to boring. She looked back at me pretty sad and said, "I have to commit working with Parkinson isn't a lot of fun either!, but( and she rose her voice so Ron and Harry looked up) We of course don't have to work with Malfoy." Now they all looked at me," well he's quite calm actually, it's not as bad as I expected. Ron looked at me as if I was a ghost and both Harry and Hermione looked pretty nauseated. "What?? I'm just honest, he really hasn't done anything like he normally he does!" I shouted, a bit in panic." yeah, well that's hard to believe isn't it" Ron answered. And Harry seemed to be on his hand, but Hermione looked very strange, I didn't quiet know what to think of this look.

The next day my first class was with Fred and George and I was thankful for that, I really didn't feel like class with Malfoy, because I sensed it was getting out of hand. Fred and George, as usually, made my forget my trouble and I had an awesome day. I decided to stay with them and Lee all day, because I was scared to face Hermione, Ron and Harry. We fooled teachers and Slytherins all day and I loved my life. The next day we started with defends against the dark arts, so I was forced to go back to Harry, Ron and Hermione, but Hermione's look still scared me, so I had breakfast with the twins and wondered to class on my own. When my three friends got in, they all looked at me saying: " so you're still here?" I mumbled a bit of an answer and that seemed to be enough. So class afterwards I felt miserable in spite of the twins tensions to make me smile, I sure did love those guys, they were awesome. But they couldn't help me on this one. So I decided to go and have lunch with Hermione, Ron and Harry again.

That afternoon we had potions. I couldn't help it but I was a bit happy to be near Draco again, on the other hand I really didn't feel like it. I sat behind the desk just as all the Gryffindors but the Slytherins were behind.

Snape looked trough the class, with his normal scary look, I had to commit though I liked him, not like like, but the man had something special, so I admired him a bit. Slytherins came in, " hi", Malfoy said.

" hi" and I thought to myself, see he's nice! It's not imagination! And I looked back to Hermione, she was looking back, with this strange look again. "pff, stupid McGonagall, kept us in class", he said and then he looked down at me, while he took his things for class together. " She probably had her reasons", was my answer. He looked at me, as if searching something on my face. So I turned down my eyes. A few minutes later we were working at a special potion, I had to grab one of the ingredients, at the same time Malfoy wanted to grab it. Our hands at the same time being touched and we both pulled back our hands as fast as possible. With this movement I hit our potions boiler and I pushed it over. I turned around, the entire class looked at me and Snape said calmly:"10 points of Gryffindor! And you may come back to my office this evening at eight o'clock miss Danes."

" But sir she couldn't help it." Draco said. I didn't believe my ears and looked at him, but he kept staring at Snape. " very well you may come with her this evening then Malfoy. Now class is over, you can all go to your next lesson." I looked at Malfoy, "thanks" I whispered. He looked at me and smiled, "no problem." but then, as if he appalled himself, he turned his eyes down.

That evening Ron, Harry, Hermione, Fred, George an Lee all wished me good luck and after thanking them I left the common room. Draco was already inside Snape's office. "well, I haven't quiet figured what you guys have to do yet, so lets say.." He looked as if he was thinking deeply. Malfoy was looking at me, I tried to ignore him and stared at Snape." pff" Snape concluded," I haven't got any inspiration. You can go to Filch and do something for him." I nodded my head and stood up. " o no wait, I almost forgot, there's a lot of cleaning up you can do in the back." So I spent three hours in a dark small room with Malfoy, For once I was actually glad Snape watched us.

Three hours later Malfoy and I left Snape, we walked together, but didn't say a word, until Malfoy said, " Joan, I need to talk to you" I took a quick look at him, appalled by hearing him using my first name, and walked further. Draco suddenly stopped walking he crabbed my arm and pulled it towards him, so I stood right in front of him. For a moment I thought he would began to discus something, but in stead he just stared at me. I couldn't help it but my heart was going crazy, I looked in his eyes and felt like I was melting. He bow forward and touch my lips with his, then he backed of and looked into my eyes," I love you" I smiled, and lifted my arm, he had let go. I softly stroke his cheek, then we kissed. I felt in heaven, I lye my head on his shoulder and he rapt his arms around me. We stood like that for a while. I looked up at him. "Our friends would never appreciate this."

"No, you're right" He gave me another small kiss, " we'll see" I got into bed happy. Consciously not thinking of the day afterwards.


	4. Chapter 4

The very beginning

**A view of Hermione**

It was rather strange Joan said Malfoy wasn't that bad. The difference between Hermione Granger and her two male friends, was that she thought about it. Ron and Harry were just disgusted by the thought of a nice Malfoy, they declared Joan crazy. But Hermione had seen the look in her friends eyes when she told this. And show she decided to see for it her self.

When the Slytherins came in late at potions, Hermione had a lovely chance to see. Malfoy pretty friendly greeted Joan, whom looked at her immediately. But it can be he just forgot being a jerk for a sec. However, what happened later at the end of class astonished her. Malfoy spoke up for Joan, Hermione felt her mouth falling open. She looked at Ron and Harry. The boys were as puzzled as her. The three of them what so ever silently decided not to talk about it.

Joan and Malfoy had to go to Snape's office, the two of them, Hermione didn't know why but something at the whole idea was scary. She decided to ask Joan the next day.


	5. Chapter 5

The very beginning

**Back to the dungeons**

As I woke up the next morning I was happy, but it took me a second to realize why that was. As soon as I remembered the evening before I got a bit scared of it, what the hell would we do now? Why the hell did he do this to me? Did he just tricked me? He said he loved me.. "Morning", Hermione's voice sounded. I startled. "Hi" I answered. "How did you bring it of last night?"

"pretty well, we had to clean the small room in the back of his office."

"oh"

"what?"

"o c'mon, I know we didn't say anything, but Malfoy backed up for you, there has got to be a reason to that!"

I looked at her, she could see unbelief in my eyes, but also that I felt pretty caught.

"I've been watching you guys" she said.

"What?"

"Yeah after you said he was quiet nice, I began to notice you were right. Now I wonder why that is.."

"I don't know", I said, and actually I was pretty honest. Hermione didn't seem to believe me but left it alone. I was glad it was weekend, so Malfoy and I could avoid each other easily.

Monday I only had classes with Fred, George and Lee. They were rather calm, I suspected they didn't sleep a lot that night. But the day was nice and Hermione didn't confront me anymore about Malfoy. The day after woods however we had potions in the afternoon, but defence against the dark arts the first hour. I was scared to confront Malfoy but also for Hermione's detective work. However I went inside with Ron, Hermione and Harry. Slytherins were late again, I was thankful for that. When they got in I looked outside the window, pretending to be dreaming. I managed to avoid Malfoy the entire hour and when I got at the corridor, Fred stood there smiling a me. So before Malfoy, who was coming my direction could say anything, Fred swung his arm around my shoulders and said:" C'mon a bit of a happier face please, I just gave you the honour of coming get you!" I smiled at him," thanks Fred"

" no problem, for you that's all gladly done, you know that." he answered. And with his arm still around my shoulders we walked to transfusions.

After having lunch we returned to the common room. " you should have seen Malfoy's face, when Fred came to pick you up" Hermione whispered in my ear. I looked at her. " he didn't like it that's for sure" she said with a bit of a giggle.

"oh Hermione"

"No I'm serious, imagine, Malfoy in love with you, haha, what would his dad say of that?? I mean you're a Gryffindor!"

"What are you guys doing" Ron asked.

"I want to see what we'll be learning in the future" Hermione responded. I was glad he got suspicious. So we went on to the common room. First class after lunch was potions, I really didn't feel like it, there was absolutely no chance of escaping from Malfoy now, and Hermione would be watching more then else. "Djees, Joan, I know potions ain't fun with Snape and all, but you look like you're gonna die!" Ron said, With Harry looking at me from behind him. Hermione looked at me with a sort of satisfied smile. This time the Slytherins were at class first, which wouldn't make it easier. Luckily they didn't go inside yet, so that I got to our desk first anyhow. I looked at Hermione, when suddenly a " Hi" came from beside me, I turned around and looked right into Malfoy's grey eyes. "Hi", I stumbled back.

" I think we need to talk" he continued. I Looked in his eyes for a second again, then turned my eyes down as I answered: " yeah, I guess so. But when and where you'd want to do that?" He just smiled." An other detention?" He asked.

"hmm don't think so"

"thought so"

"Miss Dhanes and Mister Malfoy, would you mind shutting up while, I'm talking. Oh besides the both of you come back to my office tonight if you don't mind."

"What, why?" I asked. Malfoy didn't back up this time he just looked ad Snape as if he just told him he had go in the dark forest for a whole night."

"Because, miss Dhanes, the both of you didn't finished your work last time."

My mouth as well as the one of Malfoy fell open, both looking at him full unbelief. "Now continue with your potion or you can come tomorrow as well." I quickly turned to the kettle, still cursing Snape in silence. " Well it's at least an answer to our problem", Malfoy grinned. But I saw he didn't really feel for detention. "How the hell is that possible!" Hermione yelled, "the son of a bitch"

" who Snape or Malfoy" Harry asked.

"Snape of course, Malfoy couldn't help it." Hermione answered.

"ah well, he's a jerk anyway, so.." Ron said.

" He has changed, he's much nicer" I said before I realized. I was happy I could fled from heir strange looks for next class.

And so I headed back to the dungeons that evening. This time I was there first, I knocked on the door and went inside. " ahh, miss Dhanes. Good evening."

"Good evening professor." I replied. He smirked at me, "I guess Draco should be here any minute now, you can start already." I nodded my head and went to the little room in the back. Behind me I heart the door opening and closing again. " Good evening Draco"

"evening professor" the answer came. And with that I suddenly realized I never listened to his voice before, it sounded a bit bitter now, but I couldn't blame him. He came in the room," hi Dhanes, hope you've started already" he said mean. I was rather shocked, but immediately got what he was doing, or at least thought so, and answered, " I'm not your house-elf Malfoy, you can do as much as me."

"Now now a bit nice to each other please", Snape said. I have to go to the headmaster for a second, I trust that you'll behave and not kill each other."

"Yes professor", we both said and then went back to the closet. The door fell. "Good" Malfoy said, he turned to me and can in my direction, until he was standing I front of me. I stood with my back against the wall and looked him in the eyes." uhm, Malfoy...I mean …Draco" I started , but he cut me off. "shh" he said and laid his finger on my lips. He looked deep in my eyes, then softly lowered his finger. His eyes looked down, his hand went to me neck and he pressed his soft lips against mine. So we stood there kissing…again. As soon as I realized what we were doing I pulled back. "What?" He asked.

"Draco… I don't know whether this is the right thing to do or not."

"What do you want?"

"How do you mean?"

"Do you want to kiss me?"

"uhm, I don't know"

" Do you want to kiss me? Just kiss right now?"

"…Yes"

" Then why wouldn't this be the right thing to do?"

I knew he knew what the problem was, and he could only give me right. He realized the same thing and he turned down his eyes and backed off a bit.

"Say" he said silent and careful. "If I..." he stopped and looked up at me again.

"yeah?" But then Snape came back in and we had to stop our conversation. I realized he looked at me every two minutes, but I was pretty surprised to see doubt and regret in his normally hard and brutal face.

An hour later we could leave the dungeons and as we were walking at the stairs I realized: If we didn't like each other we wouldn't have been walking so close to each other, we wouldn't be so sad for the silence that rested upon us. Our shoulders nearly touched and I knew I wouldn't have to move my hand a lot to find his, still I couldn't I wasn't suppose to go like that, was it? I did notice he was actually extremely silent, I knew he suffered. So I moved my hand, it touched his. I didn't look him in the eye, in fact I just walked on and kept on staring at the stairs I was walking. I felt he did the same thing, just looking at the stairs while walking them, but meanwhile he opened his hand to take mine in his. So we climbed the stairs, hand in hand afraid to look at each other. There was no need to talk, we understood each other well enough. Love is complicated.

After a few minutes our ways separated, I stopped walking as did Draco. We looked in each others eyes, I knew he felt the same way I did, torn, not knowing to well what to do, I looked at ours hands, which were holding each other and let my other arm climb his arm. As I pressed myself against him our hands let go. While my hand went for his back, his went for my waist. My other hand had reached his shoulder and I lay my hand near it, let it rest on his chest. He placed his second hand between my shoulder blades and pulled me harder against him. I released a sigh while he pressed his cheek against my head. So we stood there, torn between desire and the feeling of warmth and comfort, knowing on the other side this shouldn't be happening. After standing like this for a while we let go off each other and gave each other a quick kiss. Then both walked to our own common rooms, both thinking of this wonderful moment, which on the other hand was the most horrible thing we ever did.


	6. Chapter 6

The very beginning

**Twisted feelings taking dives and jumps**

The next morning I was awake pretty early, I stayed in bed…thinking. Malfoy had been so sweet and tender yesterday I actually believed he could be a sensitive partner. I felt his strong arms wrapped around me again, felt his muscular chest under my head again and had trouble not to give a sigh. Then I came to reality and realized I had done something terrible. "_I kissed him again! And I said I wanted to! Oh what have I done_!" I hoped Draco didn't wanted to trick me which seemed more normal for him. But then again it felt so real, but I t can't have been. Wrestling with this feelings I was appalled from Hermione's voice. "Morning!" she said cheerful.

"Hi"

" you were pretty late yesterday, weren't you?"

"Yeah, that bloody Snape"

While we got dressed Hermione wanted to find out what happened the day before. "So did you and Draco talk?"

"What kind of question is that?" I asked on a pretty blaming voice.

"well? You were locked in a small room for 4 hours "

" Yeah Hermione, we were locked in a small room for 4 hours, but you forget Snape was there to!" I felt pretty guilty, she was my friend so I decided to go on, " He did leave for five minutes, but that all."

" He did? He left you guys alone, what happened?" I already regretted I told her. Then I looked at her, I couldn't lie to her, " I'm sorry Hermione, but I'm…hungry"

"right! Well.. Ok.. let's go to breakfast then."

Ron and Harry were in the great hall already, as were the twins and Lee, I greeted them all and went sitting between George and Ron, so I would be away from Hermione. I cheered a bit up during breakfast. Fred was amusing himself with catapulting all of his food to Ron and Hermione got so mad she almost choked. "Waw Hermione I never realized you liked Ron so much!" George said with a big smile. Then the both of them made there way back as soon as they could to escape from the furious Hermione. Lee and I decided to ran after them cause she seemed to be as mad to us, just for laughing along with them.

I had class with the three boys the entire day and they were in a pretty good mood. They made fun at everyone around. The nice thing about them was they were really funny without hurting anyone. I once again had a lovely day and almost forgot about Malfoy.

The second hour that afternoon we had to stay with McGonagall. "Fred, George, Lee and Joan you can stay here for a second." so we watched the rest off our class leave. "Well she said, did you guys actually heard anything I said today?"

"yeah!" we all four said. She looked pretty suspicious. " So this isn't yours?" She took a whole box with all kinds of funs stuff, that had flown trough the air during the hour class. A couple off feathers had caught fire, while others had chased there owners. The papers in the box, professor McGonagall was holding, had given directions to the feathers it was a rather fun and new invention of the twins.

"Well that's a totally different question, professor." Lee said. McGonagall looked a bit angry, but then said. " Very well then, you can go and hurry, I'll check how fast you got at your next class, depending on that I'll see whether you need detention or not."

The four off us sprinted out off the classroom, down the stairs. While running I dislocated my ankle. Fred turned around "oh Joan , you really can't use anymore detention, you do know that?"

"Oh Djee Fred didn't think off that, next time I run I wont dislocate my ankle on purpose!"

" sorry" he said and got me back on my feet. I saw in a blink over Fred's shoulder that Malfoy was looking at us. He didn't look happy at all. " can you stand on it?"

"yeah"

"Can you run?"

" doubt it"

" o crap Joan, come on" he grabbed my arm and laid it in his neck, giving me aid. So we hurried to class, leaving behind a disappointed Malfoy.

Next classes the boys behaved, not that they were afraid for McGonagall, but they blamed theirselfs for my ankle. I though didn't mind there attention and had lots of laughs with them in the common room, went to bed before Hermione got in the common room, pretended to be a sleep as she got in the room and stood up early next morning. By the time Hermione got up I was making homework in the common room, I knew she would appreciate me to make homework. And by the time she got back I joined Fred, George and Lee to the Great hall. " You don't like Hermione that much do you now?", George asked.

" Ow I like her alright, she just is a bit kibitzer sometimes."

" ha-ha we know" the twins answered at the same time.

The second hour I had defence against the dark arts. Fred noticed I didn't felt like it and suggested to walk with me. " thanks Fred!" As we got to the class all Slytherins and Gryffindors were already waiting at their teacher. " I guess it will work from here, right?"

" yeah I guess", I responded with a smile. Then I went to Ron, Harry and…Hermione, but I didn't look her in the eyes.

I noticed that during class she tried to get my attention, but I pretended to be very concentrated. When we got out class I couldn't escape, "Why are you avoiding me?"

"I'm not avoiding you!" out off the corner off my eye, I saw Malfoy looking at us.

" oh please! You haven't spoke to me in two days!"

" yeah well must off my classes.." I started.

" that has nothing to do with it, I'll find out what bothers you, Joan, I will. You can just tell me as well!"

"But.."

"I' was right wasn't I?" then she whispered: " it is Malfoy isn't it?"

"I need to go to McGonagall, she has dared with detention already.

" Why don't you ask Malfoy to join you? He would, gladly" she sputtered between her teeth, angry, but silent.

"HERMIONE!, never wondered this could be exactly why I am avoiding you?!"

She looked pretty shocked, but it wasn't in her nature to apologize quickly, so I didn't expected her. I turned around and walked away, happy that I had to go the entire other direction.

I though didn't walked fast, I didn't feel like going to the three happy boys, I didn't feel like being cheered up. So I slowly walked on the stairs. I heard footsteps and looked around and saw a group of Slytherins, they passed my, nearly each of them "accidentally" pushing me. But when I though they all were round the corner, a hand grabbed my arm. Draco's grey eyes stared into mine, the seemed…worried. " Are you alright?" he asked. I was shocked, he wasn't suppose to do this!! If anyone saw!.. But I quietly responded: " Yeah, sure."

" that filthy little mudblood of a Granger."

"don't!"

"I'm sorry, but I have the feeling she really hurt you.."

" Yeah well she did"

"was it you know.."

" yes"

" how does she know?"

She's my friend she knows me. But I really need to go now.. McGonagall.."

" yeah ok, bye" and he quickly looked around and gave me a small tender kiss.

That evening in the common room Hermione came to apologize, I forgave her quickly. And went to Fred who was calling my name for the entire common room. "What?"

"Nothing I'm just helping you to get out of Hermione's hands" he answered, grinning.

"Fred you're amazing!"

" thank you, thank you"

"No I mean really, you've been backing up for me all the time lately, thank you."

" Well uhm, pleasure… O c'mon Joan what do you expect me to do? You do not deserve to be in pain." I felt so much like giving him a huge but I didn't, cause we still were standing in the middle of the common room.

"Joan!?" a little voice sounded. "Yeah?"

" uhm, professor McGonagall wants you to come to her office." the entire common room was looking at me.

"What did I do?"

" I don't know, sorry" he peeped.

I groaned and intended to leave the common room when Fred asked: " Do I need to walk with you?"

"No I'm fine thanks Fred."

"ok" It felt weird it was as if Fred expected something would happen to me, he was actually very protective the last time.

I knocked on the door of professor McGonagall's office. "Come in! …Ah miss Dhanes, come in."

"thank you"

"I wanted to talk to you, you see our Quidditch captain isn't taking his job to seriously and I was wondering if you could fall in for him or actually take over his job. Because next month we have our first match and I can't remember you've practiced that much."

" Well now you do say so…"

"So would you?"

"of course, yeah, I'd love to, just would you tell…"

"yeah no problem." she smiled at me and I felt relieved. "I hope, but I'm quite sure you will, you'll do your very best for it" she continued.

" I sure will, thank you professor."

" Thank YOU, miss Dhanes. Now off you go."

And so I came into the common room again a few minutes later. "What was it?" Fred, George, Lee, Harry, Ron and Hermione apparently had been waiting for me. "uhm" I let my eyes go trough the common room as I spotted the Quidditch captain. George noticed I didn't wanted to say it out loud in the common room and he pushed us all into the boys rooms, we went up to the twins and Lee's room. " Now speak."

"Well, She wants me to be the Quidditch captain."

"What?"

"yeah"

"that's just good!" Harry said, "we nearly had 5 practices!"

The three Weasley brothers agreed.

"But that's just great, congrats!"

"well", I continued: " sins we've got 5 of our players here already, I can ask you guys: Which evening aren't you free?"

" Not a single one!" they all cheerful answered.

" we've got some catching up to do, does Ginny have any busy evening?"

"No", Hermione answered.

" Well I'm not going to ask our ex-captain yet, but.. I'm looking forward to it."


	7. Chapter 7

The very beginning

**New start?**

The next day I felt happy, Hermione left the Malfoy-case alone and everybody was enthusiastic about the fact that I was becoming the new Quidditch captain. I didn't even care that much when my predecessor came to me screaming that I was a filthy bitch and he left the team. It seemed for a second he was going to scream much more, but just left when George and Fred each stood a side of me. It made the bastard fuck off, but also gave me an overwhelming strong an satisfying feeling.

"thanks guys" There smiles returned my thanks.

And so I hung two papers at the announcements board one saying there would be a practice that evening at seven o'clock. The other saying the team searched a new chaser.

The first hour we had transfusions, I had to stay with McGonagall, who told me so far she was very happy with my interventions. I was happy as well when I left the room. All in heaven I walked on, until I remembered where I was going to: potions. I was going to be late but I didn't feel like rushing. I calmly went to the dungeons.

I knocked on the door, which I opened after a scary, but by me admired "come in." I opened the door and stepped inside "You're late Miss Dhanes"

" I know sir"

"And why is that Dhanes?"

"I was at professors McGonagall's, sir"

" I see, take your seat Dhanes."

"Thank you, sir."

When Malfoy didn't greet me I was pretty surprised and as soon as there was more noise in the room after my entrance. I whispered, "Hi", but he didn't responded. And I was pretty overwhelmed. When class was over he rushed out the room. I didn't know why but he did, it took away a bit off my luck, while I knew it was actually suppose to be good. But I tried to forget as I went to next class.

That evening Was Quidditch practice. Practice went surprisingly well and I found my self a good chaser: Ned Wares. Everybody was excited and loved to play, because it was a long time ago they actually did. I let Ginny and Ned try to score at Ron, who was doing great saves, while Ginny and Ned made great shots. I let Fred and George hit at a bludger for turn. Harry was racing after the snitch, but I had everything under great control. I even got to do some shots myself, but when I saw a little group people coming close I whistled. Harry had almost caught the snitch but immediately came down, Ginny, who was about to throw stopped her move and came down, accompanied by Ron and Ned. Fred caught the bludger and tied it up in the box. They all looked surprised at me "it isn't time yet is it?" Ginny asked.

"No" I saw much respect in my teams eyes and this gave me a lot of positive energy again. Now my team saw the little group as well. "Slytherins", Ned said, clearly disgusted. As they were close enough I stepped forwards so I was standing a bit before my team. A tall guy came forward as well. " Well, well, you Gryffindors did fell pretty low now, having a clumsy pathetic girl as captain?" I could feel the anger of my team but remained calm. " We'll see how clumsy and pathetic I am, now wont we?" The Slytherin captain looked as well surprised as disappointed. But recovered: "You need to clear off, we've got practice."

"I don't think we need anything."

"Yes you do girl."

"I've reserved for an other half an hour and we'll take that one, so you can, look, go back and discus some tactics or you can discus with me while I let my team practise for half an hour." I didn't wait for an answer, but turned around and nodded at my team. Ginny, Ron and Ned flew back to there position, clearly satisfied. Harry went up high, also satisfied searching for the snitch. But Fred and George stayed by my side, clearly afraid I was in danger. The Slytherins didn't move and I t looked as if they were going to stand there and watch for half an hour. "Fred, George get your bludger and go on practice."

"but…"

"I'm ok now listen and off you go" the twins went for the blugder, while they kept suspiciously staring at the Slytherins.

The entire team was quite surprised that the Slytherins indeed did wait half an hour, to reward them I stopped practice five minutes earlier. "Joan", Fred said, " you're a wonderful girl and a great captain so far, I like you more and more" with a big smile on his face I answered his smile and saw Malfoy turning red.

The next day we started whit potions, I didn't know what to expect so I didn't feel to bad. As we got to the dungeons we appeared to be the first ones. "djees, who would ever have thought it would come to this?! Hermione, you're a bad influence." Ron claimed.

They laughed, but I was listening I was pretty sure I heard people talking, I concentrated.

"…he did?" Snapes voice said.

"yeah" Malfoy(!!) Answered.

"hmm well I guess Dhanes blew his socks off then"

" she pretty much did"

"yeah she's a special girl, how do you keep up with her in class."

"better then with each single one off her friends, she's friendly, but hypocritical."

"say if I didn't know any better I' d say you like her Draco, haha"

"we've gotten of the subject."

"right yeah well, if you're willing to become captain you should I guess, now the rest of the class will be here in a moment, so you can go to you're seat."

"ok."

"quick" I whispered and we ran back down the hall and pretended to just come to class, I knew they had been busy and they didn't hear the conversation and I was bloody happy for that.

" ahh we're early now, aren't we?" Snape said. " come in already I'm not in the mood to stand in the hall with four students. Harry, Ron and Hermione all sat at a desk alone while I sat next to Malfoy, who was clearly ignoring me, so I decided not to say hi this time.

KNOCK KNOCK " come in"

"morning professor" Fred said. I was pretty surprised to see him, as were the other persons in the room. "what do you need Weasley?"

" I needed to ask something at Joan Dhanes, if you don't mind?"

"go ahead." While Fred came in Coyle, Crabbe and Parkinson came in as well. "hi" Fred said. "hi, what's wrong?"

"nothing it's just…" I noticed Malfoy was looking and listening.

"What?"

"You realize we need to do homework for McGonagall?"

"yes"

"Did you made it?"

"Yeah…While I was trying to escape from Hermione" I added a lot more silent.

He smiled, " Well .."

"Yeah yeah you can have it" and I searched for it and give it to him.

"You're the best" he smiled.

"Sure, sure now go"

"Alrighty captain" he added smiling. And as soon as he had left the room I realized nearly all students were in and there was a lot of noise in the class. "Do you like him" a cold voice behind me asked.

"Excuse me?"

"Yeah you guys hang around a lot these days"

"We're classmates" I answered in a disappointed high voice. He looked pretty blaming. I knew he was right. "he's my best friend." I added a bit more silent.

"Well he's a very close friend then."

"he is actually, we're just friends, but why do you care?" I sneered bit.

"Do you actually even dare to ask that?" he asked with a certain anger in his voice.

"Well you didn't speak to me in two days, so I wouldn't think you care that much." I responded coldly.

"bloody hell, Joan" he now said on a blaming tone.

" you weren't jealous were you?"

"I guess everyone is here", Snape suddenly broke through, " we can start."

I tried to catch Draco's eyes, but it didn't work. But Draco felt stupid, I could tell he felt stupid cause he told me I didn't act like I should towards him, I knew, I understood. "I don't think you' re stupid." his moves blocked which made him accidentally throw the ingredients he had in his hand towards Snape. "Professor!" I yelled, he turned and dived away just fast enough. "DHANES!"

"But sir I didn't.."

" It was me professor, I'm sorry I slipped." I was astonished, he did it again!

"I'VE HAD IT WITH THE TWO OFF YOU!" Snape shouted and then added much calmer as If it gave him satisfaction:" The both of you every Thursday two months at my office."

"Sir.." we both started.

"Don't….make it four."

"This sure didn't feel good, but there wasn't anything to do against it. The bloody dumb thing was that today was Thursday, but one positive thing was there wasn't practice anyhow, cause Ravenclow had practice and Hufflepuff as well. And so I was on my way to the dungeons again that evening.

"come in Dhanes", Snape said, before I even had touched the door. And so I went inside, "today I had first years the last hour, Draco is already started to clean the class", he continued. " oh yeah", he added: " it wouldn't be a punishment if you could use magic, so your wand please." I didn't feel good giving my beloved wand away, but I did. " Well you can go and help Draco now Dhanes." I was a bit surprised about this and he clearly noticed this. "I've some better things to do then watch the two off you each week for two months Dhanes."

"Oh yeah, I see"

"Just be nice and don't kill each other, I have my reasons to take your wands. Now off you go." And so I left his office and walked to the classroom just near it. As I walked inside I saw Malfoy rubbing a desk. "Hi" I tried careful. He looked at me waited a second, then turned round to continue with the desk as he mumbled "hi". I couldn't help feeling sad about that, but also started rubbing a desk. After half an hour my arm hurt so bad I stopped rubbing and looked to do something less rough for my arm. And so I saw there were some ingredients on one desk and decided to put these in the cabinet. I felt Malfoy following me with his eyes. As soon as all ingredients were in the cabinet my arm still hurt, so I took a broom and cleared the floor, while Malfoy, who had damn strong arms, was still rubbing desks. I suddenly realized I was staring and just was about to turn my eyes of when I noticed he'd stopped rubbing and was looking at me. I turned my eyes off anyway and tried to clear to floor as good as possible. Then I realized Malfoy didn't turn his eyes off. I looked back up at him, consciously not in his eyes. "What?" I asked.

He just stared back at me. Then a couple seconds later he answered. " I wanted to ask the same thing." I didn't know to good what to answer, the feeling of understanding that always had been there when we were with just the two off us seemed to be disappeared. So we continued cleaning after a moment as if the feeling came back a long with more pain in my arm he said. " Look, if you need to rest a while go ahead."

"hm?"

"your arm"

I felt my face turning red, but the fell in a chair whit a sigh. He looked at me, then he approached and took place in the chair next to mine. " I'm sorry" he said.

"what?"

"yeah for this morning, I guess I am actually too jealous."

"hmm well I understand I…I would feel the same way." he gave me a little smile.

"So your Gryffindors Quidditch captain now?"

"yeah"

"too bad, now you guys will start to train again." but he added a smile. I returned his smile saying " I don't like your captain though."

"oh well that's disappointing.."

"why is that?"

"Let's say you gave proof of a lot of authority the other day and our captain felt so humiliated he gave away his roll as captain."

"Did he now??"

"yeah, I'm captain now."

"Oh well in that case I guess I have to reconsider my view to the Slytherin captain."

" you' d say you like our new captain?" I was happy we were good again and so I responded. " yeah I guess you can say so." We heard footsteps and jumped up to clean further on. Snape opened the door, "well I guess you can go when he looked through the class. Sanitio!" And the entire class became perfectly clean again. I knew Draco felt the same rancour I did, but we didn't say anything. He gave back our wands and let us out. As soon as we were round the corner I said "Bloody stupid…" at the same time Malfoy started: "That dumb ass of a…" We both shattered out our laughs. I never could have thought Malfoy could be such a nice, funny sensitive friend. His laughter sounded as golden apples falling down from heaven. " I do like the Slytherins captain" I looked in his eyes, his smile softly took place for a rather serious face, but I just stared in his eyes. He smiled at me, a smile spreading out so much happiness and joy, that I had to smile as well.


	8. Chapter 8

The very beginning

**wonder on further**

When I got in the common room I realized Snape didn't kept us in to long. Normally I got back round half past midnight from his detentions, he probably was tired and let us off earlier. "How was it?" Harry yelled from the entire other side of the room. I raised my shoulders and yelled back: " As usual" he smiled. Of all people Harry of course knew how it was. But I couldn't help noticing Snape was meaner to Harry then to me… a bit, not taking my detentions in charge. I went over at the table he, Ron and Hermione were sitting. I realized Hermione was staring at me, clearly trying to read my mind, I decided to go to bed early so she didn't screw up my evening by asking me all of Malfoy. "What time is it?" I asked.

" Half past ten" Ron answered.

" Wow he only kept us in for like two and an half hour! Guess he had a rough day!" the two boys laughed, Hermione didn't. "Are you guys doing homework? I still have loads to do!"

"Just finished defence against dark arts" Ron said.

"Potions" Harry claimed for himself. I could tell they did it like that to after woods write it from each other. "You can look at mine"

"Thanks Harry"

"you can have mine as well."

"Thanks Ron." So I took their homework. Half past eleven I finished both and just at that moments the twins came down again.

"Joan!" George shouted amazed. " What are you doing here? You've got detention! Please don't say it's our influence!"

"Hehe no it isn't, Snape let me off early."

"Nice" Fred said.

"Yeah, did you guys made your homework?" And so I made all my homework by writing it from my friends, but it happened rather much the other way around, so I didn't felt to bad about it.

The next morning Hermione had already left the bedroom when I woke up. I got dressed and went to the common room, where Hermione was sitting. "Morning" I said. She looked up "Hi, Say Joan I wanted to ask you something…"

"Is it important? Cause I'm hungry."

"Well she stood up and came towards me, the she almost whispered. "I'm sorry Joan but I've got to ask…you don't like Malfoy, do you?"

"Hermione! What the.."

"yeah ok ok, but honestly it's like you don't care to much you need to work with him in potions, that you've got detention with him and worst of all you even say he's not that bad and he backed up for you and all and I.. I.." she began to stumble and I took advantage of that. "I'm going to the great hall." And so I did. I had breakfast with Ron and Harry and then went looking for the twins and Lee. After ten minutes searching trough the common room and the great hall, knowing they weren't in there dormitory anymore I walked trough the corridors. I was surprised when I suddenly run into Malfoy, Goyle and Crabbe. "Hey look one of the Gryffindors has actually been so stupid to wonder a round alone and the walked in to three Slytherins." then he made a weird sound which was suppose to be laughter.

"I don't think you should start to discus who's stupid now, Goyle." I responded. Clearly he had trouble with understanding me and I couldn't help rolling my eyes. Crabbe didn't dare to say anything, clearly he hadn't understood what I meant as well, they of course were used to the fact that Malfoy did the speaking. This one clearly was humiliated in the dumbness of his friends. " you guys really are stupid aren't you?"

"sorry" and they ran off clearly afraid to get hit. "What does a smart wizard as yourself do with stupid friends like that?"

"I don't know, I really don't" We stood there, with about four feet between us, looking at each other. "uhm" he quickly looked around, as did I to be sure nobody was around. Then we both at he same time stepped one step forwards. Which made us standing closer to each other then we both meant, both turning red, we didn't back off. "What are you doing here?" he whispered, his face only 5 inches away from mine. "I.. I was looking for my classmates."

"Fred?"

"and his brother and Lee." I said rather brute so he wouldn't wine about it. He quicker then I could see but though soft and tender laid his hand in my neck, kissed me and then said, " see you at potions."

"yeah, see you." he was only just round the corner when Fred, George and Lee showed up. "Ah there you are!"

"were looking for us?"

"yes clearly!" the three boys grinned and we went on to class.

The entire morning I couldn't concentrate. I constantly was thinking at Hermione: "_You don't like Malfoy, do you?" But I did, how could I it was terrible! But I couldn't help it! How the hell did she found out? _

There had been a change in the school timetable. Our two latest hours Friday had switched, so we had defence against the dark arts and the potions. I was on my way to defence against the dark arts alone, when I realized the entire class had to ship over at once.

When defence against dark arts was over Ron, Harry, Hermione and I were the last Gryffindors to leave. Malfoy and his sidekicks were the last after us. I knew it had to come to this once, it was a long time ago they'd met. "Ah Weasley" Malfoy said grinning "on your way to get burned?" last potion class Ron had burned his hand at his kettle. "Back off Malfoy!" I said with as much authority in my voice as there had been on the Quidditch practice.

"Well sorry, I didn't meant to hurt anyone, hehe." then they walked past us. "stupid Malfoy" Harry said. I wanted to say something but just in time didn't. We went in the class and I wasn't on my chair yet or Draco said: "I'm sorry it's just I can't, I mean it's always been like that and I…"

"it's ok Malfoy, in fact it was a rather good thing."

"Say what?"

"Hermione is getting suspicious."

"really?"

"yeah"

"hmm…, say do you guys have practice tonight?"

"yes" I was glad he remembered me because, thinking of the whole situation I forgot I said it was going to be practice Friday.

"ok, what time?"

"eight to ten"

"then we'll practice seven to eight."

"ok thanks" he just smiled, then we had to focus at our potions. That evening half past seven Ron, Harry, Ginny, Fred, George, Ned and I went to the dress-room while Hermione and Lee went to the platform. When everybody was dressed it was a quarter to eight. "Good, the past practice was very good.."

"yeah especially when you…",Ned started.

" Yeah yeah ok thanks Ned, but let's not talk about that yet, ok? So today, we'll warm up with some passes, then we'll do the same as Wednesday, Sunday we'll do something different." the team mumbled acquiesced. "Ok, come on, we'll have to wait just ten more minutes."

"What?"

"We start at eight Ned" and he didn't dare to contradict me. So when we got at the Quidditch pitch, we walked over at Lee and Hermione, to wait. Draco was letting his team do just some passes to then throw and try to score. He noticed, along with his team, we were there as well. he looked at me and nodded because I let my team waiting for him. A bit for eight Malfoy made his team stop and I stood up and, followed by my team, walked to the court. I nodded to Malfoy because he'd stopped earlier. "you can use the same balls, we haven't used the snitch."

"we will, thanks." the first hour of practice was very good and I realized I had a good team, so decided to made it harder. When I said that I could only see joy on there faces. So I let Fred and George practice with a Quaffle which was a lot harder the with a bludger. I let Harry pretend he was a bludger for Ned and Ginny so they all trained at speed. An hour later I whistled my team was exhausted, but enthusiastic " that was the best training ever!" they claimed.

That evening I made the biggest part of my homework for the week after woods and then went to bed.

The next day I woke happy, yesterday was wonderful and today was weekend! "morning!" Hermione said. "morning" but I decided to go eating cause she had that strange look in her eyes again. "morning" Harry said when I joined them for breakfast, "ghhd mognan" Ron added with his mouth still full of food. "Morning"

"Whhs miomi?"(Ron)

"In the bedroom"(me)

"Still a sleep?"(Harry)

"no"(me)

"ahh thij e id"(Ron)

Hermione joined us and grabbed some food: " eww Ronald that's disgusting!"

"that's our little brother alright"(Fred)

"would have thought you already knew him!"(George)

And they also started to eat. Half an hour later Ron, Harry and Hermione decided to go to Hagrid. I decided not to go with them, Hagrid was a good friend of the three friends and there was no need for me to be there as well. And so I went outside with Fred, George and Lee. We went sitting under a three and were thinking what would be fun to do next week. All of the sudden Lee mumbled a " right back" and ran away. "well have you ever" George said.

Fred grinned " a weird boy sometimes"

"probably has nothing to with the fact that he's you guys as his best friends" I said sarcastically.

"What? No! of course not! We're well raised kids and we especially don't have a bad influence on people!" George said, not able to hide, he didn't believed what he was saying as well.

"What's your problem?" Fred suddenly asked on a tone that didn't fit him well, pure anger. I turned around and saw Malfoy standing behind me.

"I need to have a word with you" this one said to me, without even looking at Fred. Fred and George jumped up. "What do you want?" But Malfoy just kept staring at me "I'm not talking to you Weasleys."

"about?" I asked, standing up, before one of the twins could answer.

"The Quidditch practices." I lifted an eyebrow and Fred said "well then we can hear it as well I guess."

" No it's ok Fred" he looked deeply disappointed at me, "Joan…" I raised my hand, "it's ok"

"It's Malfoy!"

"He can't do anything"

"but.."

"Fred Weasley" I suddenly raised my voice, the three boys appalled. "I very much appreciate your concerns, but I can handle this ok?"

"I..I just.."

"I know and I appreciate that Fred" I cut him off a lot calmer and quietly "you're my best friend but there are things I can solve myself." He was a bit shocked and I felt sorry for him.

"Fred, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to shout, but Malfoy and I both are captains and it's much more pleasant if we don't have to fight constantly about who can go on the pitch and who can't. I'm having it tough enough without that." He just mumbled a bit and moved closer towards him. "Fred?"

"ok fine then go", clearly against his will.

"Thanks"

"ok" and I turned to Malfoy, who was standing there silently, clearly having a hard time. I widened my eyes for a second to wake him and he, as always, understood perfectly well. "Now if your sentimental shit is over can we talk then, I really have better things to do!"

"Yeah Malfoy, I'm coming, stop wining all the time, alright?"

"pff" and he turned around and walked away, I followed and looked back at the twins, who clearly weren't to happy with this. We went inside and got in an empty never-used classroom as I had closed the door I turned towards him.

"training today?" he asked, I had trouble understanding cause he was talking rather quick.

"no"

"good"

"Hufflepuff has."

"yeah but in the afternoon. I'll go in the evening."

"tomorrow?"

"two to four"

"ok, anyone in the evening?"

" Ravenclow."

"ok"

"Monday?"

"seven to nine."

"Tuesday?"

"nope, Hufflepuff eight to nine."

"Wednesday?"

"eight to ten"

"Thursday, Ravenclow"

"Friday?"

"eight to ten."

"Ok" he moved his wand and had it all on paper. "Now, uhm"

"yeah guess, we're done"

"I was shocked you know."

"…"

"Fred."

"me too actually." he looked in my eyes "Joan…" I was drowning in his green-grey eyes but I didn't mind. staying there was bad, but felt good. He approached me carefully, slowly filling the gap between us. When he got close enough I let my hand slide up against his chest, but didn't push him away. I felt his strong arms wrapping around me ad laid my head an his muscular chest. I couldn't feel happier, he was strong and this made me feel save in his arms. I couldn't resist it, this was wonderful, full of happiness I could stand there like that for ever. He moved his head so I looked up at him, one of his hands worked his way up to my neck and he pressed his lips against mine. Then we went back outside.


	9. Chapter 9

The very beginning

**A hell of a game**

The next day the weather was pretty bad, so made the homework that was left for the next week. At two o' clock I went to the Quidditch pitch with my team, without having trouble of Slytherins it was a hard, but good training again, and because it went so well, I trained along most of the time. A the end of practice we returned to the dress-rooms and crossed the Slytherins, having practice now.

Monday was a great day, I spend it entirely with the twins and Lee. Tuesday started well as well, the third hour however I had potions. But Malfoy and I just worked perfectly together and had produced the best potion of the entire class. So the week was going smooth. Practices were great, classes were fine. Thursday Snape asked us to bring homework for our detention. So that evening I could do lots of homework. There almost wasn't anything left for the weekend. Malfoy kissed me goodnight at the stairs, but not to passionate, because we both were tired and wanted to go to bed. And after a good practice it was our first competition match Saturday.

"You guys have been training excellent this week. Like you guys have been at practice, you were very good. Hufflepuf has already lost of Ravenclow so they're not that strong. If we can't beat them today both Hufflepuf and Ravenclow are very good teams, you guys know as good as I do, that's not the case. This isn't very humble, but true: we are better! And we can win."

"cheers to the best pep talk before the match ever!" Fred said enthusiastic.

"thanks Fred" I smiled. "Now c'mon let's win this game." with those words I turned around and went out the dress-room, to the pitch, followed by my team. I had the feeling I owned the world, which made me walk on the pitch with my head held high. I could see my powerful attitude gave my team a total boost and they nearly walked with the same pride behind me. We all came in the pitch proud at who we were and what we did. Our attitude scared the Hufflepufs a bit, I could see that.

"And there are our Griffondors!!" Lee yelled for the entire pitch. " Woaw the players look great, they've got a new captain and hell who wouldn't step in the pitch with a captain like that! I guess their attitude shows who's going to…"

"LEE"

"Sorry professor, sorry." I smiled with that. I knew McGonagall was as proud as the rest herself.

"captains shake hands" Madame Hooch said. So I stepped forwards and shook hands with the Hufflepufs captain.

"Now I want a nice clean match, all on your brooms." Then she whistled. we all flashed up, Ron going to his place, Harry going higher then the rest off us.

"And there of!!" Lee screamed.

The Gryffindors overwhelmed Hufflepufs, Ron was an excellent keeper, but Hufflepuf didn't even got to the Quaffle. Ginny, Ned and I played quick and excellent together. Fred and George, always were great beaters, but now they were fast and the had worked with a Quaffle so the bludgers they fired were cannons.

"Gryffindor is playing excellent!! It's a great team, look at them going, to fast to tell what actually is going on!" after a few minutes. "Yes! It goes in again, you can't blame the keeper, even I didn't see Quaffle going to the pitches half the time! What so ever 120-0 for Gryffindor! Oh and it looks as if Harry has seen the snitch! Both seekers are now diving to the ground, Bloody hell look at that, Potter is way ahead now! Djees his going to smack! Ohhhhhhhhhh he doesn't he.. He's got the snitch!! GRYFFINDOR WINS 270-0, have you ever seen a match like that, have you ever seen a team like that!" the entire audience was freaking out. Hufflepuf was humiliated to the ground but Gryffindor was way out off sense. In the Gryffindors common room it was a great party.

"Dhanes is our little hero

She made Hufflepuff look zero

She led us all to victory

Hufflepuff's an other story!

O hell did they train

It almost cost their brain

Say Dhanes can stay much longer

We'll never let her go, no not for a million dollar!

She made our team look much better and fitter

She sure isn't just a babysitter!

Like this we'll win!

Let come Slytherin

She hammers them in al by herself

Yes she's in our top-shelf!"

"thanks guys" I smiled

"thank YOU Joan, you'll lead u to the biggest victory ever!"

"guys, you were on the pitch to"

"yes and we did very well, thanks to you" So after having a hell of a party we went to bed. The next day Hermione woke me. "Joan, Joan? It's noon already!"

"what? Oh yeah.." I got dressed and followed Hermione to the common room.

" the boys aren't up yet" Hermione said. "we should wake them, our they can't eat a thing today."

"yes, right."

"I'll wake Harry and Ron, you wake the twins and Lee?"

"ok" and so we went up to the dormitories. "Hey guys, wake up wake up" I pulled the curtains a side. And let the sun in, Lee sighed and looked at me, "what's you problem!"

"haha, if you don't wake up right now you won't be able to eat anything till this evening." He groaned and went sitting. "kitchen" George mumbled. And he turned around in his bed. "oh c'mon!" Fred just turned around. "George…"I kneeled near his bed, "Geoeorgee…" he opened his eyes and I smiled. " c'mon get up"

"fine!" and he turned away and sat up. "Just you left Fred, c'mon" I took the dean and pulled it back a bit, revealing Fred's head and shoulders. "gruaahh" he said and tried to turn away from the light. "ok ok fine!" I smiled. I'll see you in the great hall?"

"FINE" the three of them shouted. Laughing out loud I went to the common room, still with a smile on my face I greeted Hermione. She looked surprised at me and said. " Ron and Harry pff stupid children, they didn't want to come out, if they can't get out they should get in earlier!" I just smiled at her. "c'mon, let's go" and so we went to the great hall. I was aware of a blonde boy looking at me when I entered the great hall. A girl at Gryffindors table said: " I'm relieved to see you, this morning there only were first an some second graders! But now nearly everyone has lunched. I tried to imagine how it must have been, a nearly empty Gryffindors table. Everyone else probably noticed there must have been a party, that declared the face of Malfoy. As soon as we'd lunched we went outside with our homework.

The next week was pretty calm, Snape had decided we could work individual again, but it wouldn't less that long he said. This though had the effect I didn't see Malfoy in potions anymore and it felt pretty weird. And so the week passed slowly, I didn't give practice that week cause my players deserved some rest. Thursday however Malfoy and I had did detention, Snape let us do homework again, so it wasn't bad at all actually. At five to twelve Snape let us back out. As soon as we were round the corner we automatically grabbed hands and walked on the stairs. Then he kissed me again, it just seemed all very normal. "Will this last forever Draco?"

"I don't know, I hope"

"it can't go on like this"

"Why not?"

"In a month we haven't got detention anymore…"

"yeah, let's not think off that yet" and he pressed his soft lips against mine once more. His hand was laying at my cheek-neck, then it glided toward my back. His lips lost mine as they went down to my throat. "Malfoy" I said, with saying this I tried to push him back, but I couldn't hide I loved what he was doing, so he didn't stop. "Malfoy, If someone.." He stopped and looked in my eyes. "What then?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well would you mind if anyone knew?"

"uhm well.."

"yeah I know , but it would be easier, wouldn't it?"

"No I'm not sure about that."

"No you might be right." He sighed. "Let's just go to bed."

"ok, night"

"night."


	10. Chapter 10

The very beginning

**Back to the Burrow**

I could go home for a week and then I'd spent two weeks at the burrow. My week at home would have been rather boring. Since we only moved that year I didn't had any friends in the street and I didn't bother trying. Instead I wrote thousands of letters and received even more from Draco and my best friends. But as I had assured Fred, the twins came over for two days to. My father had a lot of laughs and loved the guys. After woods he told me he liked my friends. We just joked around two days, I slept on the couch and they got my room. To bad I lived in a muggle neighbourhood, we couldn't play Quidditch. I hugged both guys before they left. Staying over at my place, just the three of us had given a very good feeling. So the next days were a tiny little bit depressing. During the second week I was in the kitchen as my father came in. "Say Joan."

"hmm?"

"little question…" he smiled mysterious. "most of your friends got pets right?" I looked up, surprised. I remembered how we had to leave our owl at my aunt, it had broken my heart, but strange enough I quite often hadn't realized what it was that I missed. "Well most have an owl…yeah."

"would you like to have a pet again?"

"I'm getting an owl?!" I asked surprised, but excited.

"no"

"…"

"I'm doubting to give you a dog, but as you know it isn't that much of a magical creature, so it normally isn't allowed into school, so I was figuring, maybe a cat?"

"..cool! But…I'd love a dog."

"he can't get into Hogwarts."

"pity" he must have seen my letdown, because he continued: "I'll talk to Dumbledore." then he winked and aparated. I was a bit astonished. I didn't know where he'd gone, but decided to start packing, it was only two days until I left to the burrow. An hour later I went down, sat down at the table and took an apple. I jumped up from the chair and dropped my apple as my father appeared again. I stocked in the apple and my father came towards me. "ow sorry Joan, I didn't mean to startle you!"

"it's…kch...ok…kch" after a few minutes, when I was sure the piece of apple was all gone and I'd thrown away the rest, I asked him. "say dad…where have you been?" I asked careful. "your headmaster" he winked and then grabbed my hand to pull me outside, to the street. "Dad?"

"I spoke to him and he thought it was fine for you to bring the dog as long as he doesn't stay in the castle the whole day, or hunts down other students' pets. So I figured we can go to the pets shop and buy you a pup."

"DAD!" I embraced him tightly and thanked him over and over again, until we got in the shop. I was overwhelmed by cute puppy eyes and couldn't pick. The first puppy I liked looked like this.

He was cute and I wanted him, but the other were also cute, so I decided to look at them to. These were the cutest.

I couldn't pick my final decision was going between the Swiss shepherd and the golden retriever. My father then decide for me, the Swiss Sheppard. When I got out with the puppy I decided to let my friends help me to pick a name and my father thought I was a wonderful idea. So the next days I ran after the little puppy and wrote Draco and the others about him. They all were very enthusiastic and when I arrived at the burrow, the little pup got overwhelmed by attention. My father thanked Molly and Arthur and then left. I told myself to, from now on write him at least three times a week. "now guys, you'll have to help me to name him!" I said.

"just call him Bongo!" Ron said.

"o my god, that isn't even funny" George said and continued. "Django?"

"Dreamboy?" Ginny said.

"well I asked Harry to and he thought off Mango."

"Mango? Djees no!" I laughed and Fred continued. "Ploke"

"oe, I like that one. And I asked Hermione and Draco too. Rams, Donking, Mayjin, Lonko, Mesco, …"

"Mayjin is nice."

"yeah, fits him."

"everyone agrees"

"yip"

"Ok"

"yeah"

"…"

"ok then Mayjin it is"

"who picked the name?"

"you guys did!"

"Draco?" I nodded

"ok, good"

After dinner we al went upstairs and talked and played with Mayjin. A couple of days later Harry arrived to. So we got splinted up a bit. Me and the twins and Harry, Ron and Ginny. After dinner we all went upstairs, we were one group to go upstairs, but splinted when upstairs. I took Mayjin with me to the twins room, they played with him and I laid down on the bed. After a few minutes George broke the silence. "Say Joan, you haven't answered a question of ours for like a month now…when are you going to?" I looked up at him a bit surprised and he smiled. Fred then went on: " first impressions?"

"ow that…uh" I knew Molly wouldn't call for dinner now, but it was such an awkward situation. "well…uhm Harry was clear I mean, I heard off him and was very curious."

"yes of course, but what did you think when you saw him?"

"uhm...well? The papers in America are quite complete you know" I smiled.

"ok, what about Ron?"

"I don't know…he looked" I stopped, a bit embarrassed.

"yes?…"

"dumb?" the twins busted out in laughter and didn't come by for half an hour.


	11. Chapter 11

The very beginning

**Back and forth**

Monday was a rather relaxing day, teacher as well as students still had to warm up. Tuesday was a bit more alive already. We had defence against the dark arts that morning. "ok" our professor said. " the best defence spells come when you really are attacked, I guess nearly everybody is capable of calling the protego-shield. And everybody is already capable to unarm with expaliarmus I guess? so we're going to form pairs, this is a simple exercise, everybody should be capable of doing this, ok? Now, Dumbledore likes to see cooperation between the houses, so we'll mix you. Uhm, well does anyone has a particular someone he or she would love to work with, from the other house of course, anyone? See it like this, you can try to perform better then your partner."

I didn't know what to do, I'd loved to work with Draco, but people would kill me if asked for it.

"Well I can see you're all not as cooperative as I had hoped! I'll have to divide you in pairs then. Let's see.. Ahh miss Granger come on up her please." Hermione walked towards their professor. " Well anyone of the Slytherins? C'mon don't make this to hard for me."

"oh yeah I'd love to work with the mud-blood!" Parkinson yelled sarcastically " like any Slytherin of all time" the Slytherins all laughed.

"Very well then Parkinson the two of you are the first pair" both girls began to protest, but without any results. "ok who's next ahhh Harry Potter, who wouldn't like that? No-one? Malfoy maybe?" my heart stopped beating. As I looked to Draco, I caught a glimps of his eyes, who stared at me for just a second. "uh, what? Me with Potter?" he spat on his old disgusted tone. "Why Malfoy, prefer someone else?"

"anyone!"

"someone in particular?" I realized he must have noticed our reaction and I subtle looked at Hermione, she hadn't noticed.

"cause if you can give me in name in particular, you can work with this person, else wise you'll work with Harry" the professor continued.

"uh I don't care, just not Potter or his Weasley-friend!"

"a name or Potter Malfoy."

"I don't care"

"Potter then?"

"No, damn it. I don't know, Dhanes for instance, I know she's more social then her famous friend is." Malfoy had just looked trough the class and I happened to stand close to him, which was incredibly useful.

"Dhanes? Malfoy"

"yeah" he said with brutality in his voice.

"Why Dhanes, Malfoy?"

"why not? We cooperated just fine in potions"

"ok Dhanes and Malfoy it is, who for Potter?"

By the time class was over everyone just was divided into pairs. "next time we'll work in these very pairs!"

"lovely done" I whispered when I passed Malfoy. He smiled subtle.

After lunch we had to go to potions. I was walking next to Hermione and we were walking behind Harry and Ron. They didn't seem to notice I was quiet, I was afraid and yet curious to what would come next. They just talked and wined about what would come next. "seriously Ron if you don't believe me.."

"yeah, well you don't believe me either"

"guys!"

"well, why don't we suggest to exchange partners? You work with Crabbe and I'll work with Goyle, so we get to see ourselves who's worst ok?" Harry finally decided.

"ok" Ron said arrogantly.

"Hah, I always like it when students take initiative themselves." A rather amused voice said.

_Snape knew the boys would rather work with anyone else then their four, maybe four biggest enemies at Hogwarts: Malfoy, Goyle, Crabbe and Parkinson. He knew these four students couldn__'__t stand the four students standing in front off him and the other way around. He had been rather surprised when Malfoy and Dhanes decided to get more then along. But he had understood it must have been tough to be alone, so he had forgiven them. Potter had just brought up a spending idea, maybe he could switch Granger and Dhanes as well. But when he thought of it, it didn__'__t seem such a good idea. Dhanes would probably kill or torture Parkinson of humiliation. No Dhanes was a tough one, she had an enormous authority upon her, this was probably what attracted Draco to her. While thinking of this he followed the last students into class._

I went to the back of the class with my three friends, catching only a climb of Draco's eyes. When arrived in the back we went sitting and Snape came in, "Well well." The entire classroom was silent, everybody was afraid of Snape, it was one of the tings I admired so much about him. "I told you before the holidays that we would be working in pairs again, didn't I?" nobody answered because, we all knew it was a rhetorical question. "Well I've been doing some thinking about how I can divide you this time and I think that you, mister longbottom need to work with someone with a lot of patience and skills." I could see at his face he was laughing with Neville, in spite of is cruelness I admired the man, I just couldn't figure out why. "So I think Parkinson and you will do just fine, she can guide you to make less mistakes. Miss Parkinson if you please." Parkinson got up groaning silently and walked towards Neville. "ouf, then I'm not with her anymore" Hermione smiled. "so we'll take it from his order, Parkinson was working with miss Granger before the holidays, I think you and miss Bulstrode will do fine." Hermione groaned, " not her"

It was of course common known that Bulstrode and Hermione disgusted even hated each other. I knew Hermione disliked Bulstrode even more then Parkinson, but we just more got in touch with Parkinson. Because she liked Malfoy, I realized bitter. Hermione took her stuff and lounged to another table. "Then Bulstrode was working with miss Patil, you can go and work with Nott… Crabbe and Goyle you can exchange partners." The two looked at each other and It was clear they didn't understood what Snape meant, so Ron and Harry went helping. I was now along and most of the students had their partners. I saw Malfoy was still not divided, my heart fasten in spite of the fact I knew that Snape would never let us work together again, he had only let two pairs stay the same. And he sure didn't like what happened during the holidays. "Malfoy…" he doubted I looked quickly through the class, except for me there were only two Gryffindors left. Snape hesitated. He began to mumble and I realized he was looking trough the still possible pairs. "because there's no other option well enough to cut across, you'll be a pair with Dhanes again." My mouth fell open. Draco's did as well. "What?" I asked. He looked at me "You don't agree with my methods Dhanes?"

"I sure do sir, sorry I'm just…surprised."

"sure you are, but you get detention anyway for questioning my authority."

"What? I didn't question your authority, I was surprised by your decision!"

"well, then now you have!" he simply replied.

I couldn't believe it, he hated me, he couldn't stand me and kicked on giving me detention, what was It that I admired so much in a man so brutal? I realized misunderstanding, confusion and anger were on my face but I didn't care how I looked. "Sir…"

"And.." He just continued, ignoring me. "because you're now all divided in pairs were you should be able to more or less cooperate, you'll both turn up for mistakes one of you makes. Understood?"

Silence went trough the class, but I was filled up with hate. He had put me back with Malfoy, that was more then I could have dreamed of, but he just out of the blue kept giving me detention! "So that means mister Malfoy, you've got detention to"

"Sir, I 'm very sorry, but don't you think it's a bit ridiculous that the same people keep getting detention?" I asked, not doing an effort to hide my anger.

"Maybe, Dhanes, these people need to learn how to behave themselves, today and Thursday miss Dhanes and Draco"

"…a.."

"DON'T make it Friday as well."

I just groaned as I took my stuff and stamped towards Malfoy, who was just starring in front of him. The entire class was looking at the two mad students, who were sitting with there arms on their chest, furiously looking at Snape. The silent lasted until Snape said: " Class is over, This evening Dhanes, Malfoy, this evening. I through my stuff in my bag roughly. "sorry" Malfoy whispered. But I was furious towards Snape and when I'm furious, I'm out of control, so I just stamped out of the classroom, not towards my next class, but towards the common room, I didn't care if I'd get only more detention. I was pissed of so badly, I got in the common room and screamed then I threw my bag on my bed and knocked the wall several times. "Joan?" I turned as quickly as I was capable of in this state of anger. Hermione was standing in the door opening, looking scared and with almost terrified Ron and Harry behind her. I was breathing loudly and started to calm down a bit. "Sorry"

"it's ok, you're completely right to be mad."

"Mad? Bloody hell Hermione I'm afraid of her!"

"RON!" Hermione looked disappointed.

"No Hermione he's right I freaked out."

"uhm, sorry but we're going to be terribly late if we don't hurry."

"since when do you care a shit about that Harry?"

"well I don't know "

"Harry's right! C'mon" I said, calmer again. And so we split up, cause I had class with the twins. Luckily Tuesday en Thursday were the days I didn't gave practice, so I didn't had to give up practice. So that evening I left the common room, although I'd calmed down since that midday I hadn't spoken a word after Hermione, Harry and Ron came to my bedroom. So when I left the common room, I didn't say a word either. I had pretended to be asleep when my three youngest friends explained my three elder friends what happened. Fred had been very worried. Harry and Ron claimed they would never try to get me angry. Hermione was shocked by Snape actions, even though it was Snape. George and Lee were shocked as well Snape's action as by my reaction. As walked trough the corridor I felt my anger evolving again, by just thinking of Snape.

"Joan?"

I turned around to see Malfoy, I suddenly realized, I'd been mean to him by ignoring him, for him this must be, if possible, even worse. "I.."

"Shht, I know" and we walked on to the dungeons. It was quiet in Snape's office and I was doing my very best not to look at him, cause I knew I would have to attack him or he would give me more detention even before I had the chance. We cleaned out his office and two hours later there came sound through the so delightful silence. "ok that's enough thank you. Now if you please, come and sit here for a second. The both of you."

So Draco and I each took place in a chair at his desk. "Joan, do you know why I gave you detention?" I shivered, I hated the man, I hated him! "Because I doubted you authority?" I couldn't look at him for the exact same reason as before, so I stared at the table, knowing the anger was clear in my voice. "Haha, please. Miss Dhanes, do you honestly believe that?" now I did look up at him, starting to get furious again. I felt Malfoy's hand quickly grabbing mine as if he was telling me to keep calm just a little longer. "Why is it Joan that I've got the feeling you're a special girl? I know you would have the patience of an angel if you would have to work with mister Longbottom, but I, I can't say a word or you get completely out of control, why is that miss Dhanes? You've got a lot of authority among your age mates, but why is it that you can't keep this calmness when you're defending yourself against me Joan? You're not afraid of me, I'm pretty sure of that. If I didn't had the power to give detentions… you wouldn't listen at me… or though maybe you would, out of respect?"

"I don't know" I said mad but curious.

"you don't? to bad then miss Dhanes, to bad. But I'll find out what it is miss Dhanes, I will. Now of you go and you don't need to come back Thursday, but if you wonder the same thing, you might want to come anyway." I searched his face. Nodded my head and left the room behind apart from Draco.

Round the corner, Draco waited for me. I came round the corner and wanted to say something, but he grabbed my arms, turned me around him and pressed me against the wall. I appalled but it all happened fast though tender. As I stood against the wall, his hands still held my shoulders and he looked so deep in my eyes, that it scared me. "Joan… What the hell was that about?" I was confused, what the hell did he mean?

"What?"

"I don't know Snape talked as if you guys had a special language about something."

"I understood just as less of it as you did, though."

"sorry" he turned his eyes down and his hands slide down. Because his hands now were gone I was able to raise my hand. I placed it under his chin and raised his head back up. "that's ok." he smiled and I saw his eyes turning a bit wet. I was appalled by that, because Malfoy is the bad, mean and insensitive Slytherin, but also was a bit tendered. "oh Draco, you silly boy and I smiled. He smiled back, while moving his hands, going round my waist and back. My hand, lying under his chin went to the back of his head and we kissed, against the wall in a dark corner, way to close to Snape's office, but still lovely, maybe because of the tension. We broke our kiss and walked towards the stairs hand in hand. And after a small kissed our paths split and I went to the common room. It was only half past ten when I got in. "Hi Joan, how was it?" Lee carefully asked.

"ok, as always"

"Joan.." I turned my head, Fred was standing in front of me so looked up at him. "What?"

"Nothing, sorry" I lifted one of my eyebrows and went to the table were Harry, Hermione and Ron sat. Ron shivered and shove over when I came sitting next to him. I again lifted an eyebrow saying: "Fine" and I stood up and walked towards the dormitories. I swear I heard Hermione say "Ronald!" But didn't took the effort to look back and just got in to bed.

The next morning I woke early, so I went for breakfast alone and then sat in the common room to make homework. "Joan?" I looked up at Harry. "What the hell are you doing, I mean djees you're not making homework before breakfast are you?"

"No I already had breakfast." I said calmly

"You already…"the expression on his face repeating that was priceless. He sat down in the chair in front of me, I just continued my homework. After a few minutes I realized Harry was staring at me and decided to ignore it, but I soon had to give in, sometimes Harry really had a bloody patience. So I looked up at him, he was looking worried. "what?"

"Are you alright?"

"What the…? What do you think, duhu of course I am I got in to bed early and so I got out early as well."

"ok, fine" he held his hand up to stimulate that. Who am I kidding I thought, they're going to find out soon, they will! And they wont like it. "Morning Joan, Morning Harry" Hermione said cheerful, she looked at me, quiet surprised, but didn't say anything. "moaoni" Ron yawned.

"morning" I mumbled.

"morning."

"morning, c'mon let's go for breakfast." The three of them walked towards the door. "don't you come?" Hermione asked.

"already ate"

"ok"

"she's really starting to freak me out!" Ron whispered just loud enough for me o hear it.

"Ronald!" So they left the common room. A bit later Lee came down. "Morning"

"Same to you"

"what are you doing?" I turned the paper towards him. "Joan! That's for next week! We're Wednesday morning! How long have you been sitting here?!"

"I don't know, I went to eat and then came back, had to do something." the twins got down and after Lee sketched what I was doing they forced me to go to the great hall with them. When we got down, Hermione looked a bit hurt, but Ron and Harry just looked confused. "I thought you already ate?" Harry asked.

"I have" I answered and the two boys looked even more confused to each other.

"We forced her." George explained.

"You can force her?" Harry's eyes widen.

"Wohow" Ron gasped. I couldn't help laughing, "oh my god Ron, I'm not a monster!"

After breakfast we still had some time and so we went to the common room. After half an hour we went to class. Wednesday went on pretty well. And that evening we had practice. The sun was just fading as I walked on the pitch, followed by the Weasleys, Harry and Ned. I had been thinking for a long time how I could make practice even harder and the team would even get better, because in two weeks we had our second match, against Ravenclow. "ok, I've been thinking about this for a long time." I said after we gave some passes. "we're up to a new exercise."

"wohoow!" Ned shouted, damn that boy is really enthusiastic.

"alright!" Harry said. Fred en George just grinned and Ron clearly was still a bit afraid.

"Harry, you're still a bludger. But Ned and Ginny, we'll pass the Quaffle to Fred and George, who'll knock it to the pitches. Ron you catch."

"Say?"

"Yeah, Harry, Ned and Ginny you'll be fast, Fred, George, you'll aim, Ron catches, you don't need to practice at that anymore I guess." I added towards Ned and Ginny. I could see everyone liked the idea except Ron, but he was more afraid of me getting angry then of the strength of his brothers. A few minutes later he devised. "Joan! Are you tying to get me killed?"

"haha c'mon Ron it's not a bludger!" But I knew the twins took every chance to hit Ron. So after a while I whistled. Let everyone take a shot at the pitches and then left the pitch with my team. When we got back in the common room I felt tired and went to bed, ignoring Harry's strange look. He should know!

The next morning Hermione wake me up. "Joan, what's the matter?"

"huh?"

"you've slept a lot you know that right?"

"ow yea, guess so"

"hurry, or you'll be hungry today!"

"ok ok" and so I quickly went for breakfast, but only because Hermione wanted me to, I didn't felt like eating. I didn't know what was wrong with me, but I followed them absent to the next class, only when we got there I realized this was defence against the dark arts. We got in and went sitting at our desk, not realizing to soon, we' had to work in pairs today. "So" our professor started. "I hope everyone still knows who's his/ her partner for today." Hell forgot a second, but I sure knew who was my partner. "please go to your partner." our professor pushed us weary. So student stood up and walked towards each other. I smiled at Draco and suddenly felt all light in my head when he smiled back. I missed the holidays. "we'll just do expelliarmus and protego to start today, ok? Now off you, do not hurt each other, and only expelliarmus and protego as I said. Of you go"

I nodded towards Draco to express he could start. "expelliarmus!"

"protego!" My wand flew out of my hand, but didn't go far, my shield was half affective. "expelliarmus!"

"protego!" Now Draco's wand came two centimetres out of his hand. "expelliarmus!"

"protego!" both wands flew away and now his wand was in my hand an mine in his. He grinned, "Well well" I just laughed as response and didn't hide it when Hermione looked at me. After classes of the morning we went to the great hall for lunch. Ron and Harry didn't complained about Goyle and Crabbe anymore, this was either because they didn't want to commit they were just as bad, or because they were afraid I'd get mad again. But when the twins came sitting between the boys and me and Hermione to tease their little brother, Hermione looked at me and nodded her head. "What was that all about?"

"Say?"

"Malfoy"

"What?"

"c'mon, I looked as if you and Malfoy were bloody friends!"

"Hermione, you, off all people!" I knew I didn't need to finish that sentence.

"Yeah, well I'm just worried!"

"Worried? Worried?! Bloody hell Hermione!" but we quit the conversation when Lee came near. "hi girls"

" hi Lee" I answered and then I walked towards the common room, leaving my surprised friends, Who al looked at Hermione, she blushed but just ate on.

That afternoon we had potions, just to irritate Hermione I'd almost kiss Draco when we got in class, but I controlled myself. I knew if I did that I wouldn't just scare Hermione of, but all my other friends as well, and probably mostly Fred. I' d have to kill myself if I lost my friends! Maybe Hermione was right after all. "Hi" I startled

"Hi" Malfoy smiled at me, clearly he enjoyed this morning and lost his carefulness. So as he sat down I remembered him, by telling of Hermione. He lifted his eyebrows and nearly stopped a blaming and shocking sentence.

The lesson was quiet and I answered all Malfoy's questions about that evening whit a "I don't know yet." when class was over and we were putting our stuff away he asked a last time: "are you coming tonight or not? I need to know, Joan."

I looked up at him as I decided. "Ok I'm coming"

"good"

Because I told him I would, there was no turning back, although I questioned my decision more then once. So that evening I left the common room quickly, before anyone could say anything, I was nervous. What would happen? At the stairs I walked in on Draco, he'd been waiting for me. "Hi"

"hi"

"nervous?"

"yeah, why are you here?"

"Snape's new view of partner working and detention." he smiled. "that and the fact that I'm curious."

"not the only one"

"nope and clearly Snape is to"

"Uhu" he grabbed my hand to comfort me as well as himself and we walked towards the dungeons. I realized lightly we didn't kiss because we were nervous and a bit scared of what would come next. As we knocked on the door a familiar voice replied our knockings. "come in." as we did. "Ah miss Dhanes! I'm very happy to see you've come!" and he actually did seem happy, for Snape's norms of course, he didn't smile, but I saw a sparkle in his eyes for a second. "But" his eyes became cold and dark again. "I've to go to professor Dumbledore, can't you come tomorrow?"

"uh. I'm sorry but we've got practice"

"o yeah of course, next week then? Just in a week?"

"ok"

"very well, now if you excuse me." I stepped backwards, towards the door. And followed by Malfoy and Snape I stepped in the corridor. "well uh see you guys in class tomorrow" Snape said, then he turned around, leaving to Dumbledore. "hmm ok well uh" Draco started.

"yea"

"we also turned to the stairs. Holding hands we reached our split point, still holding my hand he turned towards me. "next week..?"

"I'll go"

"ok, so will I" then his free hand went for me neck. Kissing him did make me feel like I' in heaven I thought when I walked towards the Gryffindors common room couple of minutes later. "Joan!!" six voices sounded trough each other when I entered the common room. "What happened?"

"Why are you here already?"

"already or still?"

"o my god Joan, he'll kill you!"

"will or did!"

"Guys! I don't understand you when you all shout like that but I guess this will answer all your questions: Snape had an appointment, my detention is now next week."

"ohh" a lot of understanding sounds now came to me and I had to smile. The next day I spent my entire morning and a big part of my afternoon with the twins and Lee. But my two last hours class of the week were with my younger friends. "hi" I said when they got in the corridor. I always was the first Gryffindor, because the others had astronomy the hour before. The Slytherins however were always pretty quickly at the classroom, but I never came close, I couldn't start anything against an entire class. What I did, was watching Draco from a distance. He most of the time entertained the entire class. Sometimes I caught myself at laughing for something I wouldn't laugh with at all normally! But sometimes I got a really weird feeling, the feeling I hated this Malfoy, the feeling I wanted to smack him in the face, tell him to act normal and kiss me. I didn't of course but I felt so torn I didn't know what I felt for him anymore, until we got to our seats and he subtle gently stoke my hand, then I knew I still loved him. Deep countersigned in my thoughts of this I was appalled from the voice behind me.

"Hi Joan"

"oh hi guys" I smiled uncomfortable.

"Why the hell did you scare so much?" Harry asked with a rather weird face.

"I was away in my thoughts" I smiled.

"ok then" Ron said and he did this weird face he always did instead of rolling with his eyes. He looked to the floor and spread his eyes wide open.

"come in" suddenly the professors voice sounded. And so we got in, Draco's hand softly stroke mine and I smiled. "We're going to do more complicated duels, but I first want that you all currently are. So first I'm going to check that ok, you'll all do the same as last week and I'll walk through the class." so we started, but I wasn't concentrated and Draco's expalliarmus hit me quite hard so I lost my balance and fell over. Draco immediately sat near me "Sorry" he whispered, but then got on his feet as quick as he could " might want to find a weaker contestant, Dhanes." he said while he looked disgusted although reaching my a hand. I played the game along and hit his hand so it went out of my space to get back on my feet. I grabbed my wand and moved quicker then I thought I could my self "expelliarmus!" Draco fell. I walked over towards him "Say what Malfoy?" and I reached out my hand, he at his turn turned it away and got on his feet. The entire class looked when Draco sent his second expelliarmus. But I was quick and ready this time "Protego!" a loud sound went trough the class, while a very strong Malfoy spell hit my strong shield.

"Well well, most impressive" the professor concluded when the same thing happened the other way around. "you both are very strong and excellent contestants!"

When class was over Draco and I turned out to be one of the only pairs that stayed the same. "ok class is over, you can all go to your next classes. Euh Dhanes and Malfoy could you wait here a second?" I looked at my friends getting out the classroom, while I stayed behind. When he'd made sure everyone had left for his next class the professor turned to us. "I've seen an extremely amount off power by the two off you, now we're going to start with harder spells and I want to be sure you guys don't hurt each other. Now I certainly don't want to put you against anyone else, because the only one coming close to your powers is Harry Potter and well I don't need to continue."

We both nodded our heads "I'll be careful on him."

"humpf, I'll be careful on her."

"ok I trust you on that" We nodded again and left the room. When we got round the corner we both at the same time laughed. His eyes twinkled as he looked at me. I put my arm around his waist and he laid his hand on my shoulder. So we walked down the stairs, towards the dungeons. When we got at the door we released each other and I knocked on the door. "Come in" and so we did, followed by Malfoy I looked at Snape, it was clear he had gotten an explenation so I walked on towards our desk. When class was over, everybody waited at Snapes sign. "Have a good weekend" he mumbled. I suspect he's forced by Dumbledore to say that." Harry grinned when we went for the common room. That evening we had great practice, I ran out of creativity for new exercises. After practice I told my team they did great and we'd have a second Gryffindor-Hufflepuf in the Gryffindor-Ravenclow next week. I did some homework and went to bed. I decided I wanted a quiet weekend so I tried to keep out of the twins and lee's neighbourhood. But it was as if those guys looked for me "Hi Joan, can you help us?" Saturday morning and George already needed me for his homework, an hour later. Lee told me they were going outside, I just smiled and nodded as an answer, but Fred told Lee I was coming to. He took my arm, pulled me up and out of the common room. We went sitting under the tree, I was with Draco in my thoughts. My friends didn't notice so I quietly thought back. I've been at his home, I've spent new year there, god what was I doing? "Joan?"

"huh?"

"are you ok?"

"yeah just a bit tired."

"sure?"

"yeah"

"ok then"

We walked inside to have lunch and after lunch I went to my room and went laying on my bed. Here only Hermione could bother me. But she wouldn't I knew, she went to Hagrid with Harry and Ron. I appalled when someone knocked the door. "yeah" I answered and almost fell out my bed of surprise when Fred came in. "What are you doing here?..And how do you get here?" I continued as I grabbed my bed, first to make sure I didn't fell then to sit up. "Well, there aren't many places George and I can't get in." he smiled. I was surprised in spite of the fact that I knew what he meant. "I wondered if you're ok" he said carefully when he came in the room and softly closed the door behind him.

"uh yeah I'm fine" I answered a bit surprised, but also nervous.

"sure?" he asked and with those words he came closer.

"yeah I guess so" I found it a bit of an awkward situation.

'guess?" he came sitting next to me on my bed. "I'm ok" he looked and searched throughout my face. "really!"

"Joan…" he started and I looked surprised at him. " I've known you for a very long time, I can see something's wrong." he looked back up at me when he finished this sentence, because saying it looked hard and he'd turned his eyes down.

"I …I" I didn't know what to answer and then found an answer anyhow: "I think I'm mad at Hermione to much and to fast, but I can't resist getting angry, she can be so annoying!"

" I know, I know" he said and he came sitting more near me, " George and I feel about her like that all the time!"

"well, you guys don't get mad!"

"no that's true, but we just think she's pathetic and let her be."

"hmm"

…

"are you sure that's all?" I looked at him, did he know something? "like I said, I know you." does that mean he spies me and had seen me and Malfoy, no It couldn't.

"uh"

"c'mon Joan, you said I'm your best friend yourself, you can tell me." I wasn't to sure about that, but answered. "Well I…I" I looked at him, of all people Fred might be the worst person to tell this. "well imagine, you've got all these great friends and uh…"

"yes?" he felt I had trouble saying this so his put his arm around me and lifted my head with his other hand. "Tell me"

"I can't" he clearly was disappointed and I couldn't bare the feeling of leaving Fred sad. "I think… I… well.. I'm having trouble to understand my own feelings." he looked surprised at me, I hoped he didn't misinterpreted that.

"how do you mean?"

"I prefer not to speak of that…yet."

"ok, come here" he smiled and he embraced me. " are you going to?"

""yeah"

"alright" his smile widened, he had a good influence on me, that must be what he thought. He grabbed my shoulder and we went down. At the stairs we ran into Hermione, she lifted her eyebrows "What the hell are you doing here?"

"I was in my bed…"

"not you"

"wow sorry!"

"still got your nose?" Fred interrupted with a played concern. I smiled and Hermione made a rare sound. "So?" she asked.

"I came to get Joan."

"how did you.."

"you really want to finish that question?" she sighed and walked past us. Fred smiled at me "if you need some help on her, you know were to go to, right?"

"thanks Fred."

"no problem!" When we got down in the common room four boys looked up, pretty surprised. "Fred!" Lee, Harry and Ron were as surprised as I had been a couple of minutes earlier. George however, seemed rather disappointed he had a I-thought-we-wouldn't-give-that-away-look on his face.

"o c'mon guys, you know me and George" Fred said to the three boys, who did understand that, but still couldn't figure out how they did it. Fred continued to his brother, a lot more quiet: " c'mon you saw she felt miserable as well." George wanted to respond, but Hermione joined them with the announcement it was time to go to the great hall. And so we left the common room. When we entered the great hall I looked subtle towards the Slytherins table, where I saw Draco was looking at me. I went sitting at the table, my face towards the Slytherin table, I looked at him, and he stared back. As if I was daydreaming and I suddenly woke up I began to pass and take food. While I was eating I realized I sat near Fred and on my other hand sat Ron. I hadn't realized before these were like fast seats, it must be hurting for Draco, I thought ashamed. I finished eating rather quickly, in spite of the daydreaming and announced I was going to the common room.

"What?" George said on a tone filled with unbelief. "How the hell can you've finished eating already?"

"I wasn't that hungry."

"Not that hungry?" Lee repeated sarcastically.

"no"

"Joan, you nearly ate!" Harry said, clearly worried.

"So, why would I always have to eat a lot? I'm just not hungry."

"you aren't getting ill are you?" Hermione asked.

"No, bloody hell and Merlin's grandma's underwear! why can't you all leave me be for a minute!"

"we're just trying to…"Ron started.

"I'm done as well, c'mon." Fred said, then he stood up and took my arm. I let him pull me up, feeling all mixed up and depressed. Fred gave our friends a mad look and then walked near me, putting his arm around me, out of the great hall. In spite of my miserable feeling I saw Malfoy getting up and going towards the exit of the great hall as well. "Uh oh" I thought. And when we got down at a left corridor, Fred and I were just quietly walking together. "thanks" I said, but before he could answer, we both were appalled from a sudden voice I knew pretty damn well.

"yeah, thank you, you big red haired joker!"

"What the hell is your problem?!" Fred let go my shoulder and went standing in front of me, with his wand in his hand.

"Yeah, what is my problem, maybe your little girlfriend knows." I startled from his attack, but while I was supposed to be good at these situations and I nailed anyone just as if there was nothing to it, I couldn't say a word. It only became worse, when it remained silent. After a few seconds I had to force myself not to cry, no this couldn't happen, not now! I'm strong I never ever cry! But I couldn't, no matter how hard I tried, prevent a tear to escape from my eye, and as one succeeded, the others followed and before I knew tears fell down on my cheeks, I wanted to hide them, take them away, not show this emotion. In attempting this last I place my hands on my face. Draco and Fred just looked furious at each other, but the Draco's voice sounded through. "Dhanes?" there was something worried, but though fighting with anger and jalousie in his voice. Fred turned. "Joan.. Are you.. Crying, what's wrong?"

"not-thing" I mumbled trying to hide my frustrations, but I felt my voice catching. "Joan!" Fred repeated, now comforting and he wrapped his arms around me. "I…what?" I knew this must be hard for him. Draco came near, I couldn't see his face, but I almost felt his concern. "Back off Malfoy"

"I don't think you understand Weasley" he responded calmly. And I felt he still looked at me.

"yeah well, what do you know!"

"more then you think."

"what, you think you got to know her because I was so stupid to leave her with you for more then a week?"

"not exactly" I lifted my head, still catching "Fred.." he looked at me, surprised. "I think he does know." Now he looked hurt and disappointed. "Say what?"

I couldn't look him in the eyes, tears rolled down my cheeks, but Fred wasn't as sensitive anymore. "What?" he asked urgent. "I…I" I looked at Malfoy for help. Clearly against his will he stepped closer towards me and Fred. "There might be something we should tell you Weasley." Fred looked down at Malfoy, furious, but curious as well. "Joan and I became pretty good friends during the holidays, we had only each other and then you get to know special sides of one another. But as soon as you and you're brother came back, it became clear we couldn't be friends anymore and you guys ended our friendship. We should have known of course we only could be friends for a good week, but we got on so well, it fell pretty hard not to get along after woods as well. We tried, but it was hard."

"When we have defence against the dark arts especially, because the need to tease and laugh is enormous, but well we've got the watching eye Hermione." I continued. Fred stared from the one to the other. "What?…Joan!" he looked disgusted and by that look my anger in stead of sadness came back, but I held it in a moment. Fred realized as soon as he looked at my face he had crossed the line. "I'm sorry"

"I don't care, you did it again Fred!"

"But, what if this was the other way around? You would act the same!"

"Say?" I asked brutally.

"yeah, for instance if it was me and Parkinson."

"haha, who're you kidding?"

"that's how I feel!"

"no, I mean you couldn't get it over your heart. Imagine, you and a Slytherin!"

"What?!"

"it's true!"

"ok, maybe it is, but I thought you hated Slytherin as much as a true Gryffindor."

"A true Gryffindor? A true Gryffindor, Fred? A true Gryffindor has courage, and what asks more courage then being good pals with a Slytherin?"

"What? O my god! I can't believe you can give it an interpretation like that!"

"you're being narrow-minded!"

"yeah and you're seeing the world to wide and big! Being best mates with Malfoy? It's a Malfoy! It's Draco! For gods sake Joan!"

"well now you know why I didn't wanted to tell you, why I lied to you, why I felt so fucking miserable!" I yelled while the tears rolled of my cheeks. I turned my arm in my face to wipe them off and then run towards the common room. I ran as fast as I could, because I knew, if he wanted Fred was a lot faster then me. I past the common room and immediately ran through to the bedrooms, luckily most Gryffindor were still in the great hall. As I closed the bedroom door I heard the portrait opening. I first thought Fred was to bloody angry to come upstairs, but a couple minutes later I startled of Fred opening the door. His eyes were red of pure anger. "How could you?"

"how could I? How could I?" I stood up.

"Yeah! I can't see why the hell you'd do that!"

"exactly! you stupid, egoistic jackass! That's just it! I can't help it! Do you think I like him for fun? That I like being depressed about it?"

He was a bit astonished for a second. "No, but.."

"thank you" I sighed and I dropped my self on the bed.

"oh Joan… oh I'm so sorry, I didn't realize the trouble you were going to! I made it al worse, I'm so sorry" I was grateful for the fact that Fred (other then Hermione) immediately gave in on his mistakes. "it's ok" I mumbled, "but it's so hard, for me as well as for him." I sat on the bed, my back towards Fred, he came sitting behind me. Put his arms around my and pulled my backwards "I'm so sorry" he bowed his head against mine and softly began to swing. "I'm so sorry"

"I don't know what to do anymore"

"shh it's ok, we'll get you through" he answered still holding me against him, softly swinging. I closed my eyes and fell a sleep, which I hadn't proper done, in a whole while. An hour later Fred woke me "Joan?"

"hmm"

"re you ok?"

"yeah, thanks Fred."

"ok, nobody has to know yet" he smiled I know how the reactions can be.

I smiled back "thanks"

"no problem, but I suggest you go to sleep early tonight."

"Quidditch!"

Fred was appalled. "in a quarter." We both jumped up to get our stuff and rush to the pitch. I thought of Draco, I'd Fred to comfort me… what about Draco?

Still whit this in my head I rushed to the common room with my clothes and broom. I didn't look at my team, which was already waiting. "c'mon" I said quietly and walked straight on to the dressing room, realizing my team was pretty insecure in my actions. Except Fred of course. When we got in the pitch we warmed up with some passes. After this I spoke to my team, something in my voice gave away I'd been crying two hours earlier. "I've been thinking and I'd like to say that in spite of our great action last game, we did have a small fault."

"What? A fault, we were bloody brilliant!"

"of course we were Ned, why don't you go and fetch the Quaffle?"

"but.."

"I don't care, Ron go to the pitches, Harry…it's time to bring up the snitch." I smiled at him and saw the happiness coming of his face. "Fred, get a bludger and the bludgeons." he wanted to protest, but didn't after seeing my face. "We've got a fault Joan?" George carefully asked. I looked at him, nodded and then nodded to Ned. "We're al one big team, we're al friends and family and Ned doesn't fit in this category…I'm afraid We're playing as a team and Ned, only a bit though, but we could be better."

"Damn it Joan, how do you see that?" Ginny asked. I didn't saw her that much, because of my already dispersed friend groups, but when we hung out, just for some minutes we got along great. I smiled at her. "Ginny" George said thoughtful. "You're in his year… may be you can help?" I looked at Ginny, excited.

"well I already talk to him and all, but ok, I'll do my best!"

"thanks Gin!" and I put my arms around her.

"oh! I'll do my best to" George laughed. He made me feel happy, which caused I almost gave him a hug, instead I gave him a daring look. "Go to your brother and pass the bludger."

"ok"

"c'mon Ginny" We had a rather good practice, everyone was constantly playing and doing his own thing. When we got to the common room a little while later, I went straight to my bedroom, noticing Fred's eyes followed me till I closed the door behind me. So the next morning, Sunday morning, I did actually had a quiet morning.

When I woke up Hermione already left the bedroom, so I decided to pass breakfast, I was thinking of Malfoy, what we did, what we would do, how this would be… half past eleven I skulked out of the common room and went to the pitch stage. I went sitting there, in the hope no-one would find me here and tried to concentrate on the homework, I decided it would be better not to think of Draco, but I wanted to be alone as well. A couple hours later I heard voices, when I looked up I saw the Slytherin team coming in the pitch. I remembered I and Draco had switched the practice of today (two to four) with the yesterday evenings practice, because half of the Slytherin team couldn't make it Saturdays evening. I was happy Fred didn't ask why practice was changed in time, he would have been just too sad. I saw Draco walking in front and kept looking at him and his fascinating movements. They warmed up and began to practice when one off the Slytherins suddenly shouted to Malfoy: "captain! There's a Gryffindor spying!" I rolled my eyes, a lot of Slytherins were really stupid! I saw Malfoy looking and shaking his head, "no that's not a spy dummy! Now play on!" he looked at me and smiled. He was actually real good with a broom, Gryffindor didn't see that because they hated them and Malfoy mostly was exaggerating, to be better then Harry, which caused he made terrible faults, but as I looked at him flying, he was good. After watching him flying for two hours I heard him saying to his tam "I'll clean up, you go to the showers" he put the balls in the box and while he did that, his team left the pitch and I stood up, took my stuff together and walked down. As soon as he had putted all the balls in the box he came towards me I threw my books at on of the benches and started to run towards him, he also started to run, not thinking of the fact that someone might be looking we ran towards each other. I didn't feel like stopping, nor did he and so we ran right into each others arms. I threw my hands round him shoulders and grabbed him as tight as I could. His strong arm almost broke my ribs as he held me against him as tide as he could. I was entirely against him our heads laying on each others shoulders. "oh I'm so sorry" I sighed.

"it's ok I know…it's not that important" he smiled. " I love you.. That's important."

I looked up at him and smiled we loosened our grips a bit and I lifted my head to kiss him. but I only pressed my lips against his a second, then quickly look around to see if there was no-one else around. Then I pressed my lips against his again and let my tongue find his. Then we walked with our hands around each others waists towards the stage to get my books and then we cleaned up the balls box. Then he went to the showers and I decided to wait in a dark corner. When he was all cleaned up we walked some rounds on the pitch, just talking and enjoying the moment…together. Then we went to the great hall, but went inside each apart, leaving a space of two minutes, to mislead George. When I got at the Gryffindors table Fred jumped up "Joan!" Now George, Lee, Ron, Harry and Hermione jumped up as well "Where the hell have you been?"

"yeah, like all day long!"

"I'm sorry I wanted to be alone a bit."

"pff! you made us worried!"

"well, I'm sorry" I said a bit offended and we sat down, I knew Draco had followed the entire thing.

"but where have you been? I mean we couldn't find you" Fred said worried.

"yeah and if we can't…" George added half joking.

"does it matter?" I asked brutally while I took the meat. and no-one responded. That evening I again went to bed early. So the next morning I was awake before Hermione and I went o the great hall as soon as I got dressed. When I got there the Gryffindor table was still empty, as were the other tables. I slowly began to realize it must be very early, but I still appalled as I saw it was half past four! I probably was the only one awake at entire Hogwarts. I didn't feel like going back to the Gryffindor tower and I couldn't go outside. So I began to wonder down corridors I had never been before, mostly in the neighbourhood of the slytherin tower. When I appalled from a voice behind me "Joan?"

I turned a round to see Draco standing there in his shorts. "uh"

"what the hell are you doing here?"

"well I.." I suddenly realized this was hard to explain, but he understood me "wait here."

"ok" and so I did a few minutes later he came back wearing clothes instead of his shorts, showing his muscular body and legs he putted his arms around my waist and we walked trough the corridors. A little while later, after walking with his hand round my waist and my head on his shoulder I asked whether he knew what time it was.

"six o'clock, a bit later"

"hmm, time to go?"

"yeah" no-one was in the great hall yet so we walked in together, each going to our own table. I began to eat and people began to fill the hall. "morning" Harry said, still pretty sleepy. "morning" I easily responded.

"whoanging" Ron yawned.

"morning" I smiled. And they also began to eat. I finished quicker, but stayed at the table.

"o there you are!" Hermione's voice said. "Good morning"

"same to you." and Hermione greeted the boys as well. Shortly after, the twins and Lee got in and the "morning"-s got through a whole passage. The rest of the day was rather easy. As were the following days, although it was getting harder and harder in defence against the dark arts.


	12. Chapter 12

The very beginning

**A brand new game**

Tuesday was just as the first part of the week, easy. But when we got into potions Snape reminded me of something that I almost forgot and might give another light on the week, except the Quidditch match against Ravenclow. "miss Dhanes and mister Malfoy, I'm expecting you this evening." I realized I hadn't, as he did suggested, thought of the whole situation to good. Well I'd thought about it when I was on my own Sunday, but not that advanced. So I just nodded my head and hid my frustration. And a couple hours later I left the common room to go to the dungeons. Malfoy waited by the stairs and we walked to the office Snape, hand in hand. I was nervous and holding his hand comforted me. As if we did it every day, we automatically walked like this till we were at Snape's office. I knocked the door and Snape gave the permission to get inside. "ah, Joan and Draco, I've been expecting you." I was appalled from the fact he was so friendly and called us by our fist names. "so.." he continued. "it's a long time ago now, but I think you'll still remember you did got pretty angry in my class."

"you gave me detention for doing nothing wrong!" I defended myself.

"Yes, I did… But you kind of freaked out didn't you?"

"yeah I did" I felt my cheeks turning red.

"you normally don't do you?"

"well, I'm not as stabile as before the latest days."

"now you are."

"I am"

"say Miss Dhanes, how come I get the feeling, you're the only student who's not afraid of me."

"I.. uh .. I don't think.."

"no? you don't think so Joan? Tell me are you afraid of me?"

"uh.."

"if I wasn't your teacher and wasn't able to give you detention."

"then you'd probably poison me."

"haha, funny Dhanes, but this is what I mean, you're not afraid. Why is that?"

"well I.."

"is it because you yourself have got so much authority?"

"well, I wouldn't say…"

"you've got authority, so have I. you're not afraid of me. What makes you so special as one of my students?" he said more towards himself then towards me.

"uh.. I'm sorry"

"you're a special witch miss Dhanes, .. You are." he stopped talking and looked at me, he whispered something I didn't understand.

_I suddenly saw my father packing backs, telling me we had to move. _

I shook my head and looked into Snape's dark eyes. "most impressive miss Dhanes."

"what the.."

"you know what it is"

"yes, but.. Why would that help in this?"

"I honestly don't know miss Dhanes. But there's something about you, I'll find it out."

My heart started to beat faster and my breath quickened, "there's nothing wrong with me!" I said, mad.

"do you ever scream to other people like that as well?"

"of course I do! That's what you do when you're mad!"

_Fred looking disappointed: "you did it again I shout_.

"NO" I turned back to Snape, furious, because of what he did.

"impressive Dhanes, normally when you're that mad, you can't shut off. It must be you're not really angry."

"not really.. Why the hell am I here actually? You've got your answer! I'm not afraid of you, I've got authority so I go in against yours!"

"No miss Dhanes, it isn't that easy, it's more then that."

"it's not!"

"it is" he said it so calm I was appalled from my own reaction and calmed down immediately.

"you may go, we'll continue this when time is ripe. I think Joan, but it might be something entirely different you might be very good at occlumency, maybe with some training you could become one of the bests, but I'm not sure, there might be something else, which blocks what so ever. We'll see, off you go now."

I was dazed when I walked out the room. Draco and I didn't say a word, but hugged and kissed, which said more then words could.

The next day was already the last day of the week, I tried not to think of Snape during the morning, but he had scared me, he had had this strange, insane look in his eyes. I had become an object he could study, I realized. And I didn't know what to expect from it, but if there was this much emotion in the eyes of my potions teacher, then I knew something wasn't good. That afternoon, after being absent the entire day I said goodbye to the twins and Lee and went to Defence against the dark arts. Only the Slytherins were already at the classroom. So I kept a distance to watch them, or to watch Draco. He looked quit absent as well. I didn't realize before he might have bee shocked seeing me and professor Snape like that. "hi" Hermione suddenly said from behind me. "hi" I responded, after turning around. The boys just nodded and smiled.

Our teacher was excited because he finally found the perfect pairs, which meant also, to his regrets, there were some Slytherin-pairs and some Gryffindor-pairs. "Today" he spoke. "We'll start to petrify!" he sounded enthusiastic and this came over to the students. "now, I don't want any accidents, so we wont block it yet, ok?"

"yeah" Parkinson noticed " just let yourself get petrified and everything will be just fine." She immediately looked at Draco, who wasn't looking at her. I couldn't keep me from giving a smile at this view. "Thank you miss Parkinson, now we'll do it turn for turn, ok?" Mister Malfoy and Miss Dhanes would you like to give the example?" I knew he'd always use us as the model example. "Miss Dhanes you can first petrify mister Malfoy, now I want you to take it easy on him, ok? Mister Malfoy don't pull your wand, understood?" he nodded and then looked at me. I gave him a grin, everyone I the room understood that as mean, except Draco himself, he knew I was being playful. "ok, everyone step beck."

"stupefy!" I yelled and aimed for Malfoy who immediately petrified. "Very well miss Dhanes, you've got a lot of power in your veins." The professor said, truly impressed. "Now the other way around. And as soon as he had un-petrified Draco the cheering of the Gryffindors went over in cheering of Slytherin. "Stupefy!" Draco shouted and aimed for me, the next moment I fell. "ok" the professor shouted while he un-petrified me. "Now this is what you'll be doing today, and I'm hoping what I'm about to show you will be for next week. Mister Malfoy an Miss Dhanes clearly control there spells so they are going to show you the next step. Miss Dhanes if you please, and I'm sure you will, you could petrify mister Malfoy again, but this time You, mister Malfoy, will try to protect you with a protego shield. Now petrifying and unarming is a big difference, be prepared to that. Ok of you go."

"STUPEFY!" and at nearly the same moment Draco shouted "PROTEGO!" after a loud BANG we both were still standing, none petrified. "Very well Draco! That was a strong spell, Joan." in his excitement he forgot to call us Miss Dhanes and Mister Malfoy. The Slytherins began to shout as if it was a Quidditch game and Malfoy just grabbed the snitch. "now the other way around" Gryffindors began to support to and when there shouting as the ones of Slytherin lessened Draco shouted "STUPEFY!"

"PROTEGO!"

Another load BANG, followed by the cheering of Gryffindors. I was still up. "OK ..OK" the teacher shouted "now the rest of you! For turn, no protego shields!"

When class was over I slowly grabbed my stuff and tried to keep behind, I saw Draco had seen this and was doing the same thing. Students all left the room until Hermione stopped in the door opening, before she could say anything I let my bag fell off of the desk, so all books came out. "ow shout!" I said, and saw that Hermione didn't do an attempt to say anything. I got my books in my bag and then got in the corridor, the entire class was already round the corner so Draco and I walked hand in hand to potions. During potions I was going to try to ignore and avoid Snape, which appeared to be not that easy. He complained at everything I did, just to dare me. I was able to take it pretty long, but half way the hour. "Dhanes!"

"What now? Goddamn it!"

"ah, Dhanes, what's wrong you're…"

"No I'm NOT doubting of your authority, damn it! I'm just tired of your constant wining!"

"ow, look at this Dhanes" He said he came with a surprisingly speed towards me and held his face close to mine, but I refused to back off and just stared in his eyes, furious, not seeing his spark of amusement.

_She was a special girl and I needed to know what it was about her, that intimidated me so much. As I stood so close to her face my nose almost touched hers, she didn't back off. She didn't back off, she was staring back in my eyes, furiously. No student ever did that in fact, since twenty years, no-one did. How is it possible she could, not at all afraid of my dark and threatening eyes._

"Class dismissed." Snape said slowly. But he kept staring in my eyes and I didn't gave off and just stared back. Until he slowly backed of and turned away. "What the bloody hell is the matter with that guy?!" Ron said clearly surprised mad, as soon as he was sure I wasn't having a flare-up. "He's just a bloody asshole and I know it!" Harry said.

"hmm, he kind of switched from you to Joan." Hermione said wisely.

"I don't care, he's not worth bothering to much." I answered simply. So my friends decided to not discus it. " hey.. It's weekend!" Hermione said to cheer u up. "yeah the weekend of the Quidditch match!" the boys and I answered. Then we laughed because of our similar reaction.

The next day I got up early and nervous. I went for breakfast with Ginny. "Nervous?"

"we'll win" Ginny said comforting. But when I looked at her. "yeah, nervous the hell!" I smiled and when we got at the table Fred and George greeted us cheerful. "wow, out off bed early boys?" I asked.

"hell! it's the game today" George smiled. A bit later we returned to the common room and greeted, while passing, Ron, Harry an Hermione.

"Where's Lee" I asked the twins.

"still in bed."

"ow"

So after trying to focus on some homeworke I called my team together and we left the common room, under so load cheering it was almost scary. "Gryffindor! Gryffindor! Dhanes, the Weasleys, Potter and Wares will lead us straight to victory!! Huj huj Gryffindor!Huj Joan, Huj Harry, Huj Fred, George Ron and Ginny and huj for Ned! Huj huj Gryffindor!" when we got dressed in the dress room, it was time for my pep talking. "Well, guys, you've been practising good and I'm sure we're the better team, but there always is the chance we loose, don't underestimate Ravenclow, please, cause it may cost us, I'd say, do your best and we make a great chance."

"Pff they all are shaking on their legs already, when we get in the pitch they may all pass out!" George laughed and looked at Fred who smiled wide, so did the rest. "c'mon, we can do this thing" I said and opened the door and walked in the pitch, followed by my team. As we got in the pitch the screaming was overwhelming. "THERE ARE THE GRYFFINDORS!" Lee yelled, but we barely understood him, because the Gryffindors shouted there lungs out, as did the Ravenclows, with "boohs" of course, but also Hufflepuf and Slytherin freaked out. Since our fabulous performance everyone was curious for our next one. The cheering was very overwhelming and I had to look at my team, who one by one had a smile ear to ear on their face. "Lovely" Fred said.

When we got to Madame Hooch I heard the Gryffindor through the stadium:

"Dhanes is our little hero

She made Hufflepuf look zero

She led us all to victory

Hufflepuf's an other story!

O hell did they train

It almost cost their brain

Say Dhanes can stay much longer

We'll never let her go, no not for a million dollar!

She made our team look much better and fitter

She sure isn't just a babysitter!

Come now!

Let come Ravenclow

She hammers them in al by herself

Yes she's in our top-shelf!"

I looked to my team and now I saw happiness in their eyes, there was no mean to, but I yelled at them: "Keep in mind it's a game, focus"

"..Joan…"Ned, very enthusiastic started. " ..ok" he added after seeing my face.

"captains shake hands" I turned around to the scared and nervous Ravenclow captain. I knew it must be very hard. I shook his hand. "Now I want a nice clean match, on your brooms…" there was a scary silence through in the pitch now, everyone waited for the whistle, when this came, we all got off in the air and I nearly heard Lee yelling because of all the screaming. "Ned Wares has the Quaffle and passes smoothly to Ginny, going low, There's Joan! Get's the Quaffle, SCORES! 10-0 for Gryffindor!" the shouting and cheering got even loader, loader then I thought was possible.

"Dhanes is our little hero

She made Hufflepuf look zero

She led us all to victory

Hufflepuf's an other story!

O hell did they train

It almost cost their brain

Say Dhanes can stay much longer

We'll never let her go, no not for a million dollar!

She made our team look much better and fitter

She sure isn't just a babysitter!

Come now!

Let come Ravenclow

She hammers them in al by herself

Yes she's in our top-shelf!"

I smiled and passed the Quaffle through to Ned, almost before it got to me. "Look at Gryffindor going! The nearly touch the ball! They.. YES another ten points!… Ravenclow has got the Quaffle, owwwwwwwww that Must have hurt! Fred or George, I don't see it from this distance, has, hit the Ravenclower pretty bad…he's ok, back on broom, djees what a power behind those tall red haired boys! They're pretty nice as friends, but don't get them against you… there comes Ginny! Just as good as her beaters bothers and her watcher brother, cause he's damn good as well, he didn't get to proof himself that much yet this year, but.. Yes Ned scores! Ravenclow at ball coming through surprisingly well, shoots there's Ron! I told you he was good! But he actually could play as a forth Chaser, Ravenclow doesn't get the ball!" after a few minutes a Ravenclower managed to score anyway. "60-10 for Ravenclow! Ow to bad, playing the entire tournament without any goals against us, would have been so cool!"

"Lee!"

"Sorry professor, but you can't deny it! And Harry takes a dive!! He's seen the snitch! The Ravenclows seeker now dives to, way to late, but Harry has got the snitch!! GRYFFINDOR WINS! 210-10!"

"Dhanes is our little hero

She made Ravenclow look zero

She led us all to victory

Ravenclow 's an other story!

O hell did they train

It almost cost their brain

Say Dhanes can stay much longer

We'll never let her go, no not for a million dollar!

She made our team look much better and fitter

She sure isn't just a babysitter!

Like this we'll win!

Let come Slytherin

She hammers them in al by herself

Yes she's in our top-shelf!"

That evening was a big party in the common room. And the next morning weren't many students at the great hall as well. The next noon we did all go for lunch, most of us only just out of bed. The rest of the school: all Ravenclows, Hufflepuffs and Slytherins looked pretty mean. after lunch Fred and I were discussing the match again, when we realized the rest was already gone. We stood up and walked out off the great hall. In the corridor I ran into an image that suck all my happiness off the past days right away, like a smack in the face I stood there, petrified, looking at what I never expected and what got to me hard. Malfoy stood against the wall and Parkinson was standing in front of him, kissing him and he didn't seemed to mind it! I felt Fred hand grabbing my arm, Draco's head turning in my direction, appalling and turning red seeing me. I wanted to stay there, but a strong grip pulled me away from the image and a few minutes later there was a familiar voice repeating my name "Joan? Joan?"

"yeah" I whispered.

"o Joan, are you ok?"

"yeah…I should have been smarter." I added. after I realized what I just saw I became sad but, mad as well.

"it's ok" Fred shushed me, "we all make mistakes."

"but.. Yeah" I just stopped talking, I didn't want to talk anymore. Fred wrapped his arms around me and we sat like that for a long time, until I managed to get my thoughts away from it "were are we?"

"ow just in the beginning of a tunnel George and I found"

"ho, cool…shall we go back to the common room now?"

"yeah, they'll be worried soon!" I spent the rest of the day back in the common room, trying to do homework. In the evening I didn't feel like going to the great hall, but when I thought what I would have to go through the next week, the great hall was a piece of cake. Fred and I went to the great hall pretty early, so we were able to get out early as well. I didn't see Parkinson or Malfoy in the great hall and that comforted me as well. But when Fred and I got back in the corridors we ran into Malfoy. The corridor was empty and silent and by the look of each other all three off us petrified a moment. Then Malfoy came out of his shock, "Joan…" he ignored Fred and that wasn't his best idea. Cause Malfoy was a rather tall and strongly built guy, but was nothing compared to the older Fred, whom I had been training at power and speed. In his attempt to ignore Fred, Malfoy just bumped right up at him. "Weasley.."

"don't you go telling nobody nothing filthy, Slytherins scum!" he grabbed my arm and walked on, no need to pull me this time, because as hurt as I may have been, as mad I certainly was. I was as stubborn as my entire family and all my friends knew me and walked away of the handsome boy, whom I had so admired and loved, because of the holier-than-thou jackass he was. When we were out of his reach Fred looked at me, concerned. "I'm fine" he smiled and suggested to stay with me a bi longer, so he went with me upstairs with me. After a few minutes I wasn't able to resist anyhow and started to cry in Fred's arms "I loved him"

"I know"

"I didn't tell you"

"I knew"

I lifted my head and looked deep into his brown eyes, which I rarely saw this serious. "I'm so sorry!"

"It's ok, don't bother." I kept laying in his arms a pretty long time, then he got to the common room and I went to bed. Trying not to think or the next week, for all the things that were suppose to be good, could become like hell.

I woke up he next morning feeling miserable and was happier then ever to realize I only had classes with the twins and Lee today. I knew I would have full support from Fred, but my other friends began to wonder what was wrong and they realized Fred knew. I was quit absent the entire time and barely noticed that every Gryffindor we passed greeted me cheerful for our victory. I didn't feel the happiness of the game anymore, nor the happiness of the winning and the partying afterwards, I knew I had to support my team, but it felt as if everything I ever had been happy about was just hazy. And all the thoughts that could scare me off doing anything at all, became more clear and scarier. So I almost against my will walked to the pitch that evening. We were ten minutes early out the dressing room and Slytherin was still training, I felt more like going back inside, but wanted to prove Malfoy wasn't going to break me! So I let Harry and Ron fetch the balls and smiled at Ned, I knew he liked moments like this. When Harry and Ron returned I took the Quaffle, by this time Malfoy had seen us, but clearly expected I would wait for him to finish. He was wrong, the selfish scoundrel. I let my team get in the air and we started giving some passes, while hanging in a circle. The Slytherins began to protest and Malfoy was forced to come to me. "Say Dhanes, what the hell is this all about?"

"this? This is what we call Quidditch practice Malfoy." I responded calmly, without looking at him. Ginny passed me the ball and threw it to Harry. "We're still practicing!"

"yeah, well you've been here for a long time now, I don't think your players will get any better from a few minutes." I turned to face him with an ice-cold look, "Mine on the contrary is getting better and better. And nearly best, I think professor Dumbledore was talking about the WC for juniors, it's been a long time since Hogwarts entered the WC, so when it does he wants the best trained team." he clearly was appalled, either from the fact I looked at him so cold or by the fact Gryffindor had a chance to enter the WC for Juniors, probably the second, I thought, he always had been egoistic bastard. "besides…" I continued merciless. "you've only got 1minute left." he turned away and cleared of with his team, I won. My team, meanwhile was warmed up. "that was so unbelievably cool!" Ned said.

"Wicked!" Ron assented.

"Wow, Joan you are almost as scary as Snape when you do that!" Harry said convincing.

"Cool, girl" Ginny simply said.

"Gryffindor owns Slytherin so bad. Haha and you own Malfoy!" George laughed.

"Hell girl, you rock, that was so good! I'm like proud of you!" Fred smiled.

"thanks guys, but c'mon time to practice."

After a good practice I decided me and my team needed to talk. "this" I stared, while writing on a piece of paper. "is how the rank is at the moment" then I showed the paper.

Ravenclow-Hufflepuf 180-50

Gryffindor-Hufflepuf 270-0

Slytherin-Ravenclow 280- 110

Gryffindor-Ravenclow210-10

Slytherin-Hufflepuf

Gryffindor-Slytherin

So Ravenclow has had all its games, lost two out of three, winning only from Hufflepuf, they have got to 300 points. Hufflepuf has only lost so far, and probably will lose from Slytherin as well. They mad it to only 50 yet. Slytherin and we, Gryffindor only won so far and probably one of us two will lose once, against each other then. Slytherin is on 280 points already, only playing one game. We've got 480 after two games. Slytherin had more goals against Hufflepuf, one actually, but have loads of goals against, we only have one. Unless Slytherin doesn't score more then once anymore it is pretty clear first and second spot is we and Slytherin. I must say I'm pretty sure we'll win the tournament, we can and we will, even if it is the last thing I do!" My team went back to the common room excited that evening, but I only could think of tomorrow and be scared. The next morning I woke up feeling worse and sadder then ever. Luckily I had Fred to pull me up. He didn't left my side all morning and accompanied me to go to potions, giving a warning eye to Malfoy. Snape made us go in and said, we'd be working individual today. Before he said so he looked at me, he as well as I saw Malfoy against the wall, with Parkinson in front of him, I didn't even try to ban Snape out of my thoughts, but felt depressed after seeing this image again. Snape realized how bad it was because I didn't even try to contravene. Working alone at my potions without Snape bothering me, comforted me just a bit. When class was over I rushed out to walk in on Fred, who came picking me up. So far so good, but I knew it couldn't lass. Although the two next days weren't that bad either, because apparently Malfoy got into the hospital wing for a while after Care of Magical Creatures. So in defence against dark arts the professor totally lost it, he would practice with me. "What a lunatic." Hermione said. And Ron started to laugh. "What?"

"I'm just seeing Malfoy during Care of Magical Creatures again." he laughed and so we laughed with him. In potions Snape made me work alone and sometimes helped me a hand, I blocked off my mind because I knew he wanted to know how things were now. Days went on quietly and I began to miss Draco in side of hate him. I only nearly resist the need to go to the hospital wing. But that weekend I found an excuse, Lee ended up in the hospital wing as well, feeling sick, one off the twins experiments on Lee didn't end that well. But luckily Lee laughed with it. So after practice Saturday I went to the hospital wing. "hi there Lee" I greeted the boy with dreadlocks "djee you really look bad!"

"thanks Joan"

"sorry, no offence, but I mean…"

"none taken and yeah I know… Bloody twins" he added laughing. I laughed with him, "Say Lee…?" Madame Pomfrey interrupted me, "I'm sorry dear, I need your guy a second" she smiled. "could you wait a second over there?" she nodded towards the rest of the wing.

"ok" I smiled and stepped back, Madame Pomfrey closed the curtains round the bed and I went to the middle of the Hospital wing. There was no-one in and there weren't many patients as well. The few there were, were sleeping. "Joan?" I was shocked from the weakness in the voice behind me and petrified. "Joan?" the weak voice said again, so I turned around. A blonde, pale-looking boy looked at me. "Would you come over here?" I still stood petrified. "please?" his pleading was so weak it seemed as if he could pass out any minute. So I went towards the bed and sat on the chair next to it. I looked at him, disappointed and mad, but also worried and caring. "What?"

"why did you do that?" I appalled.

"What? Why did I, don't you think off what you've done?"

"I haven't done anything"

"blabbers! I saw you!"

"yes, but…" I heard Madame Pomfrey opening the curtains, so stood up and walked towards Lee again. "Joan? Please I…" but I was at Lee's bed again. "Say how are you mate?"

"pretty well, better then this morning" he smiled. After talking to him a bit I decided to go back to the common room, "Bye and recover well, would you?"

"I will" he smiled.

So the next day was pretty quiet, the rest decided to go to Lee and I went with them, I didn't feel like staying alone. "Hi there again" I winked.

"Ha, Joan!" then I just sat there, while everyone talked with Lee. I suddenly realized someone was looking at me and after looking around a bit I found who, Draco. I decided to ignore him, he was being holier-than-thou. The next week went all easy and fluent. Lee got out of the hospital wing Thursday eve. "Hi everyone" he yelled, when he got in the common room. "LEE!" voices sounded from all over the common room, after the fun twins, the Quidditch reporter was one of the most popular Gryffindor. Harry Potter had a spot as well of course, and clearly I had to, because of my so called "fabulous performances" with the Quidditch team. Even the former captain, came to apologise, saying he wasn't offended being beaten by me. He even asked whether I was interested in getting him back. I assured him if one of my player couldn't, he would be the first one I'd come to. McGonagall also told me recently she was very proud. And of course the WC junior was coming close and if he won from Slytherin there was a chance we got in the WC Junior. So entire Hogwarts should be proud she had assured me smiling. The twins now had putted their arms round Lee "And? Ready to try our remade version?" Lee shattered. And I got a smile on my face, a smile which wasn't provoked by Fred's joke, but by the realization, this were my friends and that I loved them with all my heart. I almost cried Seeing the three boy laughing, constantly with prankish expressions. The twins decided the return of Lee deserved a party, so the first and second graders went upstairs early and we went to bad late. I caught myself on constantly looking at my friends, tears in my eyes. Telling myself I was suppose to be happy having them, how could I ever have forgotten them, only thinking of a holier-than-thou Slytherin. The later it got, the more I realized, I looked more at the twins and Lee then at my younger friends, I did spent more time with them. Maybe they accepted me more as well. And towards the end all my attention was drawn to Fred. He had been a really amazing friend, he had been there, as the only one knowing my secret, keeping it between us and comforting me for it. When I finally got into I thought to myself I've got the best friends ever, screw Malfoy. The next day we of course all were tired and went to bed early. But Friday was time to prove my own words, Malfoy got out of the hospital wing. Fred was worried, but I was determined. For the last hours I knew I had to get to defence against the dark arts alone and only the Slytherins would be there, I was scared but in spite of that, refused Fred's offer to accompany me until Harry, Hermione and Ron were there. I didn't expect what came next though Malfoy had known I would be waiting for the Gryffindors just round the corner, he knew because he had known I did that. So when I was at the corner I lent against the wall, back towards the wall, when suddenly Malfoy came round the corner and put his hands against the wall, each on one side of me, so I couldn't escape. I was appalled and looked into his eyes, he had a depressed, but determined look upon his face. "Joan…"

"get away from me" I said as soon as I recovered. Cursing in myself, because I refused Fred's gentle offer.

"Joan, we haven't got much time.."

"more then we need."

"Joan.."

"Get off Malfoy!" I said with disgust in my voice, but crying inside.

"Joan, we need to talk.."

"There nothing to talk about Malfoy"

"Joan, please" he pleaded whispering and coming closer. "I need to talk to you."

"get of Malfoy, my friends will be here any second now, but I felt my voice weaken under the fact he was so close. He betrayed you! I said to myself. Think of you friends! Of Fred! But I still love him! of course I don't! it was a terrible twist in my head.

"yeah you're right." and he walked towards the Slytherin group again. Nearly a few second later my three friends came laughing round the corner. "Hi Joan"

"hi"

"ah there are the Gryffindors, come on in then." the professor said happy. "ahh, mister Malfoy, back? And ok again?"

"Yes I am" Malfoy mumbled.

"happy to hear that, so I've got my model example again." he laughed happy, not noticing me and Malfoy weren't happy with it at all. At least, I wasn't. "Today we're going to test our protego shields, we're going to use all force we have to see how strong our shield is after that, …well you'll see that! Mister Malfoy, Miss Dhanes if you please. "So Mister Malfoy, we're warming up first, unarming, Miss Dhanes the shield, ok? Go!"

"Expelliarmus!"

"Protego!" Malfoy's spell was pretty careful but my shield had blown him over. I saw him standing in the corridor with Parkinson. "Miss Dhanes…" his eyes they kissed, he…

"EXPELLIARMUS!"

"Protego!" I caught his wand. "Concentrate Draco, very powerful miss Dhanes. Over again.."

"EXPELLIARMUS!"

"PROTEGO!" both Malfoy and I lost balance and fell behind, as did some people who stood to close. "Very good! So much power! The two of you are talented! Now we're trying a more powerful spell…" Draco and I lost balance more the once, our powers bounced in on each other, we were worth of each other and after half an hour the professor called us towards him. "You're ok with that now. You're going to go for the next step next time, the rest…well they'll practice a bit first." he smiled. "class dismissed! Ow eu Draco, Joan, just a second here, c'mon miss Granger what's wrong?"

"nothing professor, on my way out!" she said, a bit appalled. When everyone got out, he talked on. " the next step, is actually something totally different, and no pair-working anymore, but the others haven't reached the level they should have yet, Harry's getting close, but he isn't there yet. So you're stuck on each other, were going to face some creatures, and you can fight it with the two off you, some teamwork, how about that? You can choose though, keep fighting each other, in which you're advanced enough, or face think, working together."

"I want to take the step." Malfoy easily said.

" well done boy, Joan?"

"uh.."

"you need to keep moving." Malfoy said.

"that's right! Now up to your next class!" and so we went out off the classroom. "Joan?…"I didn't look at him. "Joan?…are you…mad?"

"what do you think, Malfoy?? But hey it's alright, need to keep moving, right?"

"no, Joan I didn't…"

"shut up!"

He was appalled, "Joan, I made a mistake, no actually I didn't, I didn't do anything.."

"what? You didn't do anything? What's wrong Malfoy? got a hole in your memory or what?"

"no, I know what it must have seemed like, but I didn't wanted it to happen!"

"you kissed fucking Parkinson, Malfoy, I don't need a lot off explanation for that!"

"Joan.."

"oh, go to Pansy and make out!" I tried to run from him, but he grabbed my arm and turned me, back to the wall. "listen to me!" I was appalled from this sudden anger. "please." he added more careful. I pulled my arm away, but remained were I was and looked in his eyes with a cold, emotionless look. I knew this look would make it harder to him to speak.

"uh.. Joan, I… I didn't meant to kiss her, in fact I didn't, no please let me finish. She all of the sudden came round the corner and smacked me against the wall and kissed me, I thought I was you, no hear me out! Then I noticed it wasn't you opened my eyes and saw you standing there… I was so confused, I felt miserable."

"of course you did, so you went crying to Pansy?"

"no I, did you even listen?"

"yes I did! And to be honest it isn't very credible!" I turned and ran down the stairs towards the dungeons. When I was at the door I waited for Malfoy, but knocked and opened the door before he could say anything. "well the two of you are late, but the others explained already, now rush, if you can't finish your potions, you'll stay until you have!"

"yes professor."

But because I was mad at Malfoy we constantly got in each others way. "Grr goddamn it, Malfoy, when I worked alone it went easier."

"yeah, well that doesn't help now, if we go on like this, we'll still be here at ten o'clock tonight!"

"hmpff" and indeed when class was over we only got almost halfway, I got angry and saw my friends looking at me. When everyone got out it was very silent in the room. "God damn it Malfoy!" I shouted when he pushed over my just juiced ginger.

"Miss Dhanes!"

"sorry professor, but…"

"What the hell is wrong with the two of you? you have been an excellent pair."

"…"

Two figures against the wall, coming closer. I banned him out of my thoughts and realized it was silent to long. I looked at Snape, he looked at Malfoy, so I turned. Malfoy was clearly suffering, I was appalled when I realized what Snape was doing and pull Malfoy towards me, out off Snape's vision. I became aware of the fact that I'd been to late, I let go of Malfoy, pushed him back on his chair and looked from Snape to Malfoy. Snape swallowed, looking at Malfoy, who was now just staring, not doing a single attempt to hide the tears that came out off his eyes noiseless. "professor?" I asked, doubting and refusing to talk to Malfoy. Snape looked at me, recovered off the shock. "maybe you can clean up your stuff." I waited for a second and then began to put every think in place. Not looking at Malfoy. When I had cleared everything away, Snape suddenly talked again. "say Miss Dhanes, what is wrong with you?"

"excuse me?"

"yeah, I always knew you're special, not easy to understand at all, great in occlumency, pretty, good in Quidditch and so on. But you keep surprising me."

"with what?" he sighed disappointed, he took the Pensieve and put a memory in it. "come here miss Dhanes." I walked towards him, he nodded to the Pensieve and so I bent over. And got sucked into Snape's memories. I stood next to Snape and was looking at myself and Draco. "Goddamn it Malfoy!" looking at myself I saw to figures against a wall, but a white light cut it off. Now looking at Malfoy there came a sort of slideshow of his memories. Dumbledore in the Great hall, saying there was a new student, she went to Gryffindor. First potions class, Malfoy looking at me. Some tender moments, He coming up for me, coming to detention, our first kiss all passed by. The holidays, flashes of all great moments we had spent together. New years eve at his home, going back to Hogwarts Fred and George reacting brute. All these images passed by very quick and suddenly a blond girl comes stormed in the viewers direction, kissing him. Pulling away, Parkinson's face! Fred and Joan standing behind her. A yelling Parkison, and a responding, loader yelling of Draco, but I didn't understood what he said. My mad looks at him, at quidditch practice, in the hospital wing, in the corridor and during classes. After seeing a fast slideshow I got back in the classroom, tears running over my cheeks. "Joan?" I turned and saw Draco looking at me, his eyes were all swollen and red. "Do you believe me now? I didn't wanted her to at all!…I'm like totally in love whit you." KNOCK KNOCK "come in" Fred came in, but I didn't even try to hide my tears. "hi professor I…Joan?" He looked from me to Malfoy to Snape and over again. "What?"

"I'm sorry Joan, I didn't mean to hurt you, I didn't mean to do anything at all I just, well you saw, I didn't know." I just nodded my head and swallowed. "Joan?!" Fred came towards me "Are you alright?"

"yeah…"I whispered.

"What happened?" I nodded towards the Pensieve, Fred went towards it, looked at it and back at me. I nodded and he bent over.  
After a few minutes he would get out again, not knowing how he would react when he did I wanted something handled first. "professor?" I said with a small voice.

"yes?"

"what exactly do you mean with, you keep surprising me…I mean, you knew about…us" I added the last word very quietly.

"I sure did, but I thought you really loved each other."

"we did!"

"then why, Joan, why were you, as a strong and confident girl, so quickly so mad at Malfoy?"

"because I was hurt!"

"hurt? Or insecure about your capacities and what exactly you've got to offer?"

"…"I stood there, not knowing what to say.

"well this doesn't happen to much, blown off your socks Joan? So what? I'm right?"

"maybe you are, but I still was hurt."

"of course, but in the mean time Joan, your fiend here he nodded towards Fred, has given you a good feeling hasn't he?"

"…"

"hmm, you're strong and special and yet so fragile and normal." I felt weird, it was as if Snape could read me as a book, better then I could myself. Why the hell was that?

"ohh" Fred got out the pensieve. He stood there, watching it and then softly turned around. "…"

"Fred?"

"yeah?"

"are you fine?"

"yeah"

"ok…do you eh…"

"Malfoy…" I as well as Snape and Malfoy were appalled of this sudden change.

"uh...yeah?"

"you…" suddenly it was as if there came a light into his eyes and he was back. He looked at Malfoy, disgusted and mad. The he walked towards me and putted his hand on my shoulder. "are you ok?"

"yeah"

"professor, can we get back to our common rooms please."

"No Weasley."

"Why not?"

"I don't need to justify myself for you!" he looked intrusive to Fred. "Joan.." he continued. "I don't want to be rude, but I'd like you the two to fight this out now." I was shocked, this wasn't what a teacher was suppose to do. I looked to Malfoy, his eyes still were red and swollen. His face was chimed in and pale. His hair wasn't groomed. And he actually just looked terrible and depressed. I felt sorry for him and a bit guilty when I realized why he looked so depressed. "I'm sorry" I whispered. He looked up, his eyes got light and his face got a slight smile. "I'm sorry as well, I… well yeah."

"I know" I smiled. But I didn't forget what I'd been thinking the previous evening. "you may go now." Snape interrupted. And so the three of us went out of the room. I noticed Fred was looking at me while we were walking in the corridor, as was Malfoy, walking on my other side. I didn't know what to do anymore, I loved Malfoy, but I remembered how I had felt when I saw my friends laughing the day before. I had made the intention to enjoy my friends more and forget about the holier-than-hoe Slytherin, who just proved he wasn't that hypocritical. At the beginning of the stairs I was still struggling with myself, when the blond guy spoke. "Joan?"

"hmm"

"uh… I uhm was wondering.."

"I think it may be better if we stop seeing each other anyway." I said, while cursing myself for saying that.

"what, what do you mean?" he stopped walking and turned to face me. I stopped walking but kept staring at the stairs. "Joan? Why, What?"

"isn't it clear what she means?" Fred tried to make it easier. By hearing his voice I found back my strength. I looked up to his face, the sparkle that had been in his eyes just a minute ago was gone again. I cursed myself again, for looking in his eyes, but held on. "well, I think it might be better."

"but why?"

"oh Malfoy, for gods sake! We were the only three knowing of it and it already was a disaster when Fred found out."

"But…"

"I just simply think we need to split for a little while." He turned his eyes, which had started to swell again. "Draco…" I whispered, moving closer to him. "don't do this, please, you know it would be best.." I continued, I took his chin and held his head up, feeling Fred stiffen. "you do right?" I asked, looking in his eyes and already feeling stupid for doing that. "yeah, maybe…but if it doesn't work? I mean I.."

"we'll see ok?…Maybe you should give Parkinson a chance." I said with an effort.

He looked with an appalled look into my eyes "you don't mean that, do you?"

"it might lessen the loss."

"but, I'd only feel bad replacing you by Parkinson."

"I know, but we should try to separate."

"I don't think I'll be able to"

"you'll have to" I answered and pulled back my hands. His eyes followed my hands and then looked back in mine, I saw they were wet and red. "ok, I'll try" he said, clearly needing a lot effort. I smiled while not holding behind my own tears. I wrapped my arms around him. He held me tight in his strong arms and I closed my eyes, holding him so tough like I wanted to pull myself through the other person. This probably would be our last hug, it was suppose to be. After a while our grips loosened and we kissed for what should be the last time. While our tears slide down on our faces, our lips and tongues didn't want to leave each other. After finally leaving each other we split our ways, both still with our eyes wet. "Joan?" Fred asked. "Are you ok?" I just nodded my head. "That was…brave and all…you do really want this, right?"

"yeah, I mean, it's like an **impossible love.**"

"hmm, but it seemed like true love, and a friend who can't appreciate that isn't a good friend, you do need to give them time to survive the shock of course."

"yeah, well, thanks, I don't know…"

The next morning I woke up late. Hermione had left the bedroom and I saw I was already half past eleven. I should get out, but I didn't want to. So I turned and fell a sleep again.

"Joan?" Fred's voice whispered in my ear. "Joan?"

"hmm"

"Hi girl, it's pretty late already, you might want to get out…" when I didn't responded, I felt he went sitting on the side of the bed and put his hand on my shoulder. "Joan?"

"hmm"

"c'mon girl…please." when I didn't react anymore my bowed over me. "Joan.." I looked at him, he had gotten pretty close and looked worried. "are you ok?"

"yeah, I'm fine" he backed off and I went sitting. "Fred?"

"yeah?" he turned towards me and I just shoved towards him and wrapped my arms around him, he startled and I felt him stiffen but laid my head against his chest, now he wrapped his arms around me as well. He sighed "oh Joan, why did you then?" I heard a sound at the stairs. "Hermione! She's coming!"

"what how do you…?"

"does she know you're here?"

"No! she's not suppose to!" he suddenly looked a bit frighten.

"Quick under the sheets!" Fred pressed himself against the wall, totally covered by the sheet, trying to take as few space as possible. I went laying next to him and put arm over him, to make him as invisible as possible. Hermione got in the room, "Joan you're gonna miss lunch!"

"lunch?"

"yes it's a quarter past twelve" I mumbled a bit and then said loader "ok thanks, I'll be right up." she turned and went down again. Fred climbed up against the well "Brilliant" he said as he was up, I smiled. And realized we laid in the same bed, pressed against each other. I turned out of bed. "I better get dressed"

"yeah, I'll see you at the great hall." he nodded. The rest of the weekend I was pretty absent, even during practice. "say Joan.." Fred said Sunday evening.

"hmm?" he gestured I should come to him, so I did. "Joan, you're feeling terrible."

"thanks for that statement, but I guess that's not why you…"

"do you think you're actually ready to go back to class?" I turned down my eyes.

"Thought so, look you can accept, but jus as easily refuse." I looked at him, surprised.

" you know Lee laid in the hospital wing for a week right?"

"o Fred, I …I don't know"

"your good right? just think of it, tomorrow isn't a tough day, so."

"uhu, I'll think off it." The next day I soon noticed, I suffered to much to face Draco, so I went to Fred. "I thought you would" he said, this might be best." and with those words he gave me a purple piece of candy. "thanks" he just smiled, a bit worried. So the next morning I got the permission to go out off class, toward the hospital wing. It was a new experiment Fred had told me, then I would be in the hospital wing longer.

I felt miserable because I didn't know what to do and what I was doing. This only had as effect I looked even more ill. During the day Ron, Harry and Hermione came to visit me, they looked worried, but Madame Pomfrey assured them she'd heal me in a bit. The next day the twins and Lee came by. "Hi there Joan…are you, like…ok?" Lee asked. I just nodded. I saw Fred turning red, when he saw how bad I looked. After they sat by my bed half an hour, George asked "Say Joan, what about practice?"

"Let Harry replace me for now."

"ok" and they left a bit later to go for practice. I closed my eyes and heard how someone came in the hall, groaning of pain. But the sound only came from very far. I fell a sleep the next morning I saw the Slytherin keeper laying on a bed a bit further. I wondered what happened, but didn't ask. Later that day I saw a blonde, tall boy coming in walking towards the keeper. "He's a sleep, let him be." Madame Pomfrey said.

"how is he?"

"good he'll be out in two days."

"and he'll be able to play quidditch?"

"of course my patients only leave this wing when they're a hundred percent healed. "thanks Madame." she nodded. Malfoy turned and in his turn he saw my laying on the bed, he stood still, clearly doubting. He looked behind him, Madame Pomfrey was walking to the other side of the wing. He looked at his keeper, who was still sleeping. And then came to me. "are you ok?" I nodded. "Joan, I can't do it, I can barely eat, I fell of my broom yesterday and totally suck in everything I do, like this, people will notice to!" I sighed. "please Joan."

"we can't Malfoy, hold on"

"but I can't, I'll die! And you forget…you've got Fred.. I need to talk to someone! I almost wrote a letter to my father out of frustration!" I sighed again. Suddenly Malfoy looked up and went sitting straighter "uh oh" he said. I turned my head and saw Ginny coming in the hospital wing she waved at me, but when she saw Malfoy, she stiffened. Then, recovered she pulled her wand and came towards the bed; "you…"

"Ginny!" I interrupted her and she looked at me, clearly surprised and not lowering her wand. I sighed, slowly things were coming out anyway. "what the hell is he doing here?"

"I'm worried, she's my potions-and defence against dark arts partner, now I'm working with the teacher, guess how much fun that is." Ginny stood there, astonished. "what? you'd almost say you like working with Joan!"

"I won't deny she's an excellent partner." Ginny's mouth fell open "What!" she looked at me. But I couldn't look her in the eyes. "you don't expect me to belief you get along ?" she looked from Malfoy to me and back again. "actually" I started, but Malfoy felt I wasn't able to take this, so he fell in. "we kind of do, yeah"

"WHAT?! How the …Joan!! It's Malfoy! Malfoy, you hate all her friends! How can you possibly be friends." now she didn't get an answer. "No!" she continued herself "No, it…no you can't…don't tell me you…" I looked up, but turned my eyes down again to speak: "I've been quiet depressed the latest days, I don't know if you noticed, but I.."

"Joan?" she interrupted me. "Your not trying to say you love him, are you?" she didn't get any answer. "and you" she said to Malfoy, the only reason you'd ever get along with a Gryffindor.. must be…love!"

"yeah well, I didn't chose for it.." Ginny fell on the bed. "o my god" she said quietly. When she sat there for a few minutes she turned towards me "who knows?"

"just you and Fred, but we decided not to see each other anymore."

"correction you did" Malfoy said "And wasn't it to avoid this?" I turned my eyes down. "What?" Ginny said. "you were going to give your love up for your friends' reactions?"

"Ginny you guys hate.."

"I guess Fred has also said it but a friend not accepting your decisions isn't a true friend. Especially not in love!" I sighed. "yeah but the two of you were already hard, while you guys live by this principle." Ginny just smiled, stood up and walked out of the wing. "Get better!" she yelled. Malfoy looked at me. "that's two"

"of the entire school!" he smiled pressed his lips against mine and walked out of the wing. The next day Madame Pomfrey let me go in the evening. "What a timing, coming back, starting with a weekend!" George said enthusiastic. I looked at Ginny, but she didn't look back. Then I looked to Fred, but he didn't look back either and just as I stood up to go towards him, he stood up and went upstairs. I looked back to Ginny and she went upstairs as well. They must have talked I thought. I didn't see the both of them the next day because I stayed with Ron, Harry and Hermione. During practice I didn't find the courage to talk to them, It was happening I thought, they didn't tell the rest, but didn't speak to me anymore. "next week it's the Hufflepuf-Slytherin game, we don't need to guess, whose going to win, we might better bet on how long it'll take!" George said that evening. Sunday morning I woke early and when Lee got in the common room he assured me the twins were still up. I went to their room, knocked and went inside. George was still sleeping, but Fred looked at me. "are you avoiding me?"

"no"

"…"

"Ginny told me she knows." I turned my eyes down and nodded.

"she accepts it as much as I do, for your side, not for his. What are you going to do now?"

"I don't know! I really don't…I mean"

"you can go for the easy way, with the long pain and sorrows…or for the hard way, with the love you want."

"that's a bit of a contradiction"

" but that's the way it is" he smiled. "look Joan, if you really love him you should go for it, no matter what kind of a bastard it may seem to us. Know this, I'll accept your choice, but if he ever hurts you, I'll kick his ass!"

"thanks Fred"

"and if you guys ever break up, know that I'll always be here for you."

"..uh.."

"I love you as my sister Joan, more then that, I would be there for you constantly and be able to help you every time. You're like one of my best friends, Joan, I thought for a while I was in love with you, but I guess it's just an extravagant fellowship."

"god, that's so sweet" I smiled and gave him a hug. "Now get dressed and come to eat." I smiled even wider. So I spent my Sunday with the twins and Lee, who were enthusiastic about Quidditch. Monday also was a day with the twins and Lee, so when I Tuesday walked towards the classroom of Defence against the dark arts. It felt as if I had been on vacation and I hadn't seen my friends for ages. So when we stood in the corridor we had a lot to talk about. So while talking I appalled of a sudden voice behind me. "ah potter, long time no seen"

"You should see who's talking, not afraid to play with them little animals, Malfoy?"

"you' re not funny Potter, not even when you try! And I heard you've been captain a week, what have you done then? Asked you friends to nicely do what you ask them?"

"Shut up Malfoy" I said when I turned around. His eyes widen for a second, he appalled from my cold and angry look. But recovered. "Why Dhanes? I see you're back among us, what was the matter, got sick? Doesn't have anything to do with your big friends, trying to poison you had it?"

"it's none of your business what was the matter with me! And for this all captain thing… how well does your team listen to you?"

"well enough!"

"do they? How good do train them Malfoy?"

"we'll see next week won't we?"

"ok come on in dears!" our professor suddenly said. And so we did. Malfoy grinned at me "it won't work like this" he whispered. I just smiled and turned towards our teacher, who was explaining us a new exercise. After just some grins as a conversation with Malfoy I left the classroom with Hermione, Harry and Ron. After lunch I had some classes with Fred, George and Lee. And at some point we got very lucky, it was strange, but Snape had left the school for a day, so we didn't get potions. This meant an hour no class! We were happy with it, but forced ourselves ( or Hermione forced me and the boys) to make some homework. That evening I went to bed early and I felt well rest out the next morning, after a few classes and dinner I went outside it was very cold outside which was pretty typical for the season, but we'd seen so many strange this the latest years, so it wasn't that normal anymore. I felt like taking a walk and I already did some homework Thursday. So I walked towards the lake. And started to walk entirely round it, thinking. I felt strange about Snape, the teacher I admired and my friends disgusted, the only person except Malfoy(and maybe Fred) and though even more that could read me as a book. I didn't know before people could read one another like that. He knew something, had something, saw something…but what? Maybe I should talk to Harry, I thought he was read a thousand times by Dumbledore, he probably knows what it's like. But Harry probably was disgusted by the thought of having a bond whit Snape. Or I could go to Dumbledore… to be read again, he'd tell me just what I think is wrong and probably leave it to my to find out what's wrong. Suddenly I realised Snape had been absent the day before and wondered why that was, in command of Dumbledore? "hi" I startled and literally almost jumped in the lake. I turned around to look at a beautiful face above me, surrounded by blonde hair. Draco smiled when he saw he had scared me. "ow…hi"

"what are you doing up here?"

"uh I'm just…walking" I noticed now he was sighing, he had ran to catch up at me.

"round the lake?"

"yeah"

"why?"

"why? Uhm just because…I felt like it." he smiled and we walked next to each other when we were out of sight of the castle he wrapped him arms around me, pressed me against him and kissed my lips. After standing half an hour in each others arms, we decided to go back to the castle. I was surprised when Ginny called me as I got in the common room. "do you really like him that much?" she whispered.

"what?"

"Malfoy, cause if you do, you need to tell the rest."

I looked at her, pretty appalled. "yes I know, but it isn't that easy is it?"

"it's easy enough to kiss him!"

"Ginny!"

"I know, but you need to tell them once."

"I know, I will, I'm just not ready for it." she pulled up an eyebrow, but then nodded and left me. After we went to the great hall for dinner I did some homework and got my broom and stuff to gather with the Weasleys, Ned, Harry, Lee and Hermione. The last one went to the stage, while the twins fetched the balls and bludgeons. I noticed we were ten minutes early and Ned was almost jumping up and down by the thought of humiliating them. "they've got a game to play Saturday Ned."

"So?" but I just had to turn my head towards him to make him shut up. When the twins returned I decided just to ask them if they had any preferences of exercises to do. When nobody immediately answered I was flattered and also proud to see that they'd had complete confidence in me and loved my practices as they were. "ok, just a couple of minutes and it's our turn… as soon as it is eight o'clock we start Ned, if they haven't cleared of by then…ok?" he clearly got a lot happier just by the thought of me barfing off Malfoy. But the Slytherins stopped in time and we had a normal practice. The day afterwards we had a normal day, but in Defence against the dark arts everyone now was over the little duelling practices so we didn't work in pairs anymore. I was happy for the fact Ginny or Fred didn't had class with me and Malfoy. During potions everything went normal. "we need Daisy roots."

"I'll get it" I answered and jumped up to go to the closet. "Miss Dhanes" Snape said loudly. I turned to look at him and noticed everyone looked. Snape just nodded towards his desk. I looked to his desk and saw Daisy roots laying upon his desk. I didn't think any further and walked towards his desk. I reached out my hands over the Daisy roots, but then started to doubt, I didn't know why, but I did. I realized Snape looked at me and somehow it made me unsure. A flash, white. I pulled back my hand, not able to take the Daisy roots. "What's wrong, miss Dhanes?"

"I… don't know."

"hmm, strange, very well. How about these?" he took a little box, conceiving Daisy roots. I looked up at him, seeing this spark of a mad man in his eyes again, I was actually pretty sure most people didn't see this even once, I had seen it several times now. On the other hand I wasn't sure other people understood him, did I? was there some kind of connection between the both of us? He shook with the box, and pulled myself away from my thoughts. I doubting held my hand over the box and strangely it didn't fell wrong to take them so I did. When I turned around I saw Snape smiling, pleased. Still wondering what the hell happened in potions with Snape I walked to the common room, even the next day it kept following me. I decided to stay behind in class and ask Snape about it, I realized, thinking that, in a bit of a shock, other students wouldn't do that willingly. My plans were disturbed anyway, Snape was gone again. Strange I thought, but I tried to ban it out of my mind for the weekend; this weekend was Slytherin-Hufflepuf.  
"Tomorrow" I said, when we stepped in the pitch that evening, "we'll see how good Slytherin really is." after a rather easy practice I told my team to have a good sleep, "Maybe we win the tournament tomorrow." I said and so my team did go to bed early, as did the entire Gryffindor house. The next morning we all were up early and went to the Great hall. The Great hall was green with silver and yellow with black. There was a special tension through the Great hall and although I tried to fight it, my will was to strong and I looked at the teachers table. Snape wasn't there, but I managed to ban it out off my thoughts for the day. I left the Great hall, while the twins, Lee, Harry, Hermione and Ron were still eating, they'd gotten a bit closer by my presence, it was queer though. When I got at the exit I turned and saw now they had gotten in two groups of three, when I turned back I caught a glimb of Draco, getting up. I walked a bit further in the corridor and waited behind a corner. "hi" I said, because else wise he would have missed me. "hey, waaw haven't seen you quiet a bit now e" he smiled.

"No you're right." then I grabbed his costume and pulled him towards me. A few minutes later I wished him good luck for the game. "yeah, necessary" he laughed sarcastically. When I got to the common room I made some home work. "Joan Dhanes?" a little voice asked. "Yes?"

"uhm… profffessor Dumbledore is lllooking ffffor you." then he ran of, strange, the small ones always are scared, I thought. Then again, I hung around with Fred and George. So pretty surprised I went to the office of professor Dumbledore. "Ha, Joan, come in. have a seat."

"thank you"

"ok, I'd like to congratulate you with your captain performances, and as professor McGonagall has told you, there is a change you and your team go to the WC Junior."

"yes professor."

"Well, I've written a letter and it indeed is rather certain you may access, please talk to your team, make sure you've got seven Gryffindors who can and want to join you."

"I will professor, thank you!"

"that's ok, but an other question, how are you keeping up here?"

"ok, great I've got good friends, and Gryffindor loves me for the Quidditch" I smiled.

"yes, you did sort out your best friends well. The famous one, Harry Potter and in some way the famous Guys Fred and George Weasley. But ok glad to see you're good, you may go." I stood up but turned back at the door. "uh professor?"

"yes?"

"maybe it isn't mine to ask, but were is professor Snape?" he looked at me and simply smiled. "Curious Joan?"

"kind of"

"Well Severus is working on something for me." I nodded my head and wanted to turn, but Dumbledore went on. "Joan…?"

"yes professor"

"Why your interest for professor Snape?"

"uhm, no...I was just curious."

"Are you sure Joan?" I hated when people did that, but Dumbledore was the greatest wizard ever, I maybe should be honoured. "Well…I don't know, it's like there is some sort of…connection between us, I mean, not connection, I.. mean it's just weird it's like he reads me as a book, not…"

"yes, yes professor Snape has told me about this already, but not to worry Joan, it's not such a bad thing to have Severus on your hand." he winked and then opened his arms. "Quidditch starts in an hour, so you may leave now Joan."

"thank you professor" and after a smile I ran to the common room, were I had to explain three times I'd been at Dumbledore's office. Half an hour later we went to the pitch and got ourselves good spots after saying bye to Lee, who went for the megaphone.


	13. Chapter 13

The very beginning

**On Slytherins hand?**

While Ron, Harry, Hermione and Ginny searched a place I stayed with the twins, but didn't heard much of what they said. When we sat down they noticed. "Joan?" George asked.

"yes?"

"you ok?"

"yes yes."

"sure?"

"yes!"

"ok ok"

"here, these are nice places." Fred said cheerful, but played. So we went sitting and looked how other people found spots, but we sure did have nice ones. "Today my dear student colleges. We're going to look at the game Slytherin-Hufflepuff. AND yes THERE THEY ARE!!" a load screaming and cheering raised. The captains gave hand and Lee went on cheerful. "Hufflepuf didn't had a great season so far, and even lost from Gryffindor without making a single goal. The Gryffindor team, led by Joan Dhanes, who's doing great and probably is planning victory on Slytherin just as big! Yes Gryffindor …."

"LEE!"

"sorry professor, back to the game people, they're going to start any minute now… yes they're off! Slytherin had the Quaffle, goes for the pitch, keeper, great job mate! Hufflepuf at Quaffle…" I was looking at Malfoy, hanging high in the sky. His body looked very good on a broom… "Slytherin scores!" after half an hour the score was 70-40 for Slytherin, so Hufflepuf wasn't bad at all! "yes, there goes the searcher of Hufflepuf! Slytherin right at it….. Oeoe that was a quick turn of Malfoy! Cho a bit behind, wow what a dive, you'd almost forget who he is… no professor really look! He looks like damn Harry, only Harry is much nicer AND Malfoy has the snitch! game's over people!" I smiled, Malfoy's movements had been real smooth, I appalled a bit when Fred pushed me, but then realized, I was suppose to be on Hufflepufs hand. Slytherin in all it's arrogance welcomed the team in the Great hall as if they'd beaten a dragon with ten heads, out on killing and molesting innocent dogs. While the rest of the Great hall went silent and mad, Slytherin sung along.

"_Slytherin at the best top,_

_Beat the others, going non-stop,_

_Come on up here Gryffindor,_

_Let's have a little or big war,_

_If you at least have the courage_

_your house says you have for an age."_

There was a lot of laughing at the Slytherin table and I realized this couldn't go on. "hi …Dhanes" a Slytherin spat. "afraid yet?"

"why would I? you've got one good player, I've got seven! All sitting right here." Fred en George stood at my sides and Harry and Ron stood at George side, Ginny and Ned at Fred's. " we had 220 points!"

"yes, just because of dumb luck! And a relative good seeker." the entire hall had noticed what was going on and there came interest. My team stood behind me and now the Slytherin team stood up as well. "Well I must say I'm flattered Dhanes… I'm a good seeker."

"no offence I think comparing you with Harry wasn't the best idea Lee ever had."

"haha, Dhanes you're funny, but you've got a way to big mouth!"

"do I now? Strange think to hear from you, Malfoy."

"oe, that must have hurt" another Gryffindor came to listen and soon every student stood around us. But McGonagall interrupted just in time. After a lot of daring looks and gestures, everyone was in his/her common room. The next week Snape was absent and now I wasn't the only suspicious one. Fred, George and Lee did only think of how to welcome him back, or in other words, how his office had to welcome him back. Hermione, Harry and Ron however, thought more as I expected and wanted, the same as me, suspicious. "He has never been absent before, and now he's a lot!" Hermione said.

"sure you're not just worried about whether you still have enough classes or not?"

"Ronald!"

"she's right, something wrong!"

"but it is under Dumbledore's command thought."

"What?"

"yeah he told me"

"when"

"…"

"Doesn't matter Hermione, maybe it has something to do with you-know-who."

"not most likely…although.." we didn't figure it out, but it kept us busy, so I spent my days with these three, but just enough with the others, not to upset them. When Snape still wasn't back the week afterwards I decided to go to Dumbledore's office. "Ah miss Dhanes come in."

"hi professor."

"I assume you're here to ask for you potions teacher?" his bright blue eyes calmly looked over his classes, giving me the feeling of only being very small. "..eh well I just…"

"Don't worry miss Dhanes, he's fine, in fact he's here every two days, tomorrow as well, may be you can come and I'll prove you my right."

"ow I believe you professor I just…"

"tomorrow half past nine, and now you may go Joan, I'm an old man and need my sleep." he smiled and I nodded and ran to the common room. Not to good knowing what to do or even think I went straight to the bedroom, curious for the day afterwards. It was a rather quiet day and no-one was surprised when I left the common room, I hadn't asked Dumbledore if I should speak of it, so I didn't. Dumbledore welcomed me smiling and told me to wait a bit, he stepped in the fire that was burning in the corner, it turned green and made Dumbledore vanish. So I sat there, waiting, wondering how many time Harry had been here already. The fire turned green again and my entire body was suddenly very tensed. There was a lot of mumbling in the back, but when they got closer, they stopped talking. Snape was investigating my face and I knew my fear would allow him to get access in my mind so I closed of as good as possible and looked from the one to the other. It was clear Snape wasn't told I would be there, but the headmaster was very calm. He walked to his desk, while talking to Snape. "Joan here, came asking for you yesterday, probably the only worried student."

"ah well."

"she wondered were you were."

"…"

"but as you can see Joan" now he looked at me and then preceded. "he's alright, it's not a dangerous, but important job." he smiled, I as respond looked at Snape and then back to Dumbledore. "But…"

"I've proven my point, now your professor and I have some talking to do." I knew the surprise was clear on my face. And Snape used it. "maybe it has something to do with you-know-who" , Hermione said. I clicked my head and banned him out, but didn't dare to look at him. When I did his eyes were spread wide open. "you children shouldn't get into these business to much!"

"I didn't mean to…"

"to your common room" he said with a certain anger in his terrifying voice. "not a word, we'll talk about this later." I nodded my head and opened the door. "Severus?" I closed the door and ran to the common room, straight into bed. I was afraid for a confrontation with Snape, but he stayed away the entire two next weeks. "Next week" I said to my team in the dressing room in this third week of Snape's absence. Everyone had noticed, but no-one had cared. We had no substitute, so no-one (only for Hermione may be) was sad about to few lessons. But the week of the final match Gryffindor- Slytherin Snape was finally back, he didn't mentioned the fact that I still should have a talk with him, so was out of the classroom pretty quickly. It felt good to have potions on the other hand to, because I finally got to see Malfoy a bit more. Both of the team trained and trained that week, all practice space of Ravenclow and Hufflepuf were now Gryffindor's or Slytherin's. the poor other houses were afraid of "the better ones" and let it be. The trainings were hard, but fun. The normal days though were hell, the entire school was like fighting a war. Most of the students on Gryffindor hand, but Slytherin's arrogance counted for three. There were fights and yelling all over the school getting worse and worse. But especially first and second years were victims, the Slytherins left some poor, innocent kids hanging in the corridor every hour. It was as if there were riots in the school, you had to watch were to step and were to stand, because boogie traps were al over the place and Slytherin, being with less people, were some jackasses together. Of course the twins loved the situation and along with Lee and, quite often me ,they trapped every Slytherin in there way. Teachers couldn't help it, it was a tradition, pulled trough long enough. Gryffindor against Slytherin, head against head, the Snake against the Lion. Though fights, still in the middle of this big war and enemy feelings, I still was desperately in love with a Slytherin, one of the meanest even, telling myself who he was, didn't changed it, I just loved him. I went at his home once, it was almost unbelievable. if people didn't had watches or calendars, they would notice the weekend was coming by the tensions in the entire school, Friday the classes in the morning were cancelled, because the largest part of the school was under the attack of mud and little biting green beasts. I knew who was behind it, but didn't care. The last class, potions was cut off early, even Snape almost didn't bare the tension in the classroom. "Which smart ass gave Gryffindor and Slytherin the same classes at the very last moment of the week?" Malfoy said irritated, I knew what he meant, cooperation before a match, wouldn't work. "good luck tomorrow." I answered, he smiled, "yeah, I'll need it, but well good luck as well." I winked and left the classroom. The next morning was like waking up in hell. Every one screamed and screamed, not a lot of people ate, some first grades, didn't leave the common room. It was hell and still it was so incredibly powerful that I liked it. While some Slytherins sung their old song:

"_Slytherin at the best top,_

_Beat the others, going non-stop,_

_Come on up here Gryffindor,_

_Let's have a little or big war,_

_If you at least have the courage_

_your house says you have for an age."_

Others found new ones:

"_Gryffindor, screams like a lion,_

_But in fact get them a train,_

_They'll be right on."_

Those were the weak ones, other examples:

"_Dhanes is our little hero_

_She made hufflepuf look zero_

_She led Gryffindor to victory_

_But we're an other story!_

_O hell did they train_

_But they won't smash our brain_

_Say Dhanes can stay much longer_

_We'll never lose from her, not for a million dollar!_

_Like this we'll win!_

_Cause we are Slytherin."_

They're not as inventive as they were when Malfoy was against us as well." Fred whispered in my ear. But also Gryffindor made some noise. There old song:

Dhanes is our little hero

She made hufflepuf look zero

She led us all to victory

Hufflepuf's an other story!

Ravenclow a second match

There weren't many balls to catch!

O hell did they train

It almost cost their brain

Say Dhanes can stay much longer

We'll never let her go, no not for a million dollar!

She made our team look much better and fitter

She sure isn't just a babysitter!

Like this we'll win!

Let come Slytherin

She hammers them in al by herself

Yes she's in our top-shelf!"

The shorters:

"_We're gonna win_

_We're gonna scream_

_Were gonna be so glad_

_Cause we'll win_

_From slytherin_

And to shout at someone.

_Spit it in, Slytherin!_

I was excited, the match would start in a couple of hours. Starving off nerves I went to my room, deciding not to play at all. On the contrary I went to the common room a bit later and left it along with my team, under the cheering of the entire Gryffindor house. I felt nervous, but on the other hand very strong, cause while I walked down the corridor, my team was behind me and behind that, entire Gryffindor ran.

Dhanes is our little hero

She made hufflepuf look zero

She led us all to victory

Hufflepuf's an other story!

Ravenclow a second match

There weren't many balls to catch!

O hell did they train

It almost cost their brain

Say Dhanes can stay much longer

We'll never let her go, no not for a million dollar!

She made our team look much better and fitter

She sure isn't just a babysitter!

Like this we'll win!

Let come Slytherin

She hammers them in al by herself

Yes she's in our top-shelf!"

Go Dhanes, Go Gryffindor team

Let's win this thing!!

While we went to the dress room the entire stage was filled, everyone was as excited as the players themselves. "Pff ok guys" I said when we were dressed and ready to go. "this is the game we've all been waiting for." I tried to keep my voice calm and managed to do this rather well. "yes, and obviously the entire school has." George said.

"yes and we'll beat them won't we Joan?" Ned said rather rough. "you promised us."

"I'm not the only one in the pitch Ned, but I believe our chances are rather good, we've been training hard and definitely have a better team. But everything can change. I've completed the ranks and this is the result."

Ravenclow-Hufflepuf 180-50

Gryffindor-Hufflepuf 270-0

Slytherin-Ravenclow 280- 110

Gryffindor-Ravenclow210-10

Slytherin-Hufflepuf 220-40

Gryffindor-Slytherin

"So…" I continued. "Slytherins has 500 points and we only have 480, we're a better team, but we're behind."

"Hufflepuf has only 90points!" Ned shouted.

"that's of no importance now shut up and listen. The are pretty good at scoring, but there defence sucks, we're good at them both, and Harry is still better then Malfoy, so yes, we can win, to zero even, but whether we will, I don't know, we do need to do our very best, ok?"

"hell yeah, we're here!"

"so Harry, we need to be at least twenty points ahead of them."

"ok"

"come on then, Let's do this thing!" and as we walked in the pitch I swore I'd probably never be able to hear soft sounds again, the screaming was overwhelming, I almost didn't understand professor Hooch. "…..shake hands.." so I stepped forward, as did Malfoy I laid my hand in his looked straight in his eyes "good luck"

"same to you" he grinned.

"Look at those tension, ladies and gentlemen, this is going to be THE match!" I had trouble hearing the whistle, but went into the air, hoping Harry would be so smart to count the goals. Should have told him that. But the match started and we scored three points without Slytherin touching the Quaffle, then I was a bit cliff-hanging, but after half an hour the rank was 120-60 for Gryffindor. "Malfoy takes a dive! Oh my god, it's a long time ago Malfoy has seen the snitch before Harry!" Lee screamed. "who catches the snitch wins. Ow Ginny scores 130-60 …" the rest of what he screamed fell off because of the cheering, but I saw Harry closing in on Malfoy, slowly. "Damn that blonde boy, he can fly after all, why show it only now, but ooooooooooo Harry is better people, he draws up a lot faster, Malfoy, only a bit behind, some pushing and, they fall! the both of them, one of them has the snitch, who?" We made advantage of Slytherins distractions and made four goals in two minutes. 170-60. "IT'S HARRY! GRYFFINDOR WINS!" the cheering and screaming was overwhelming, the entire team squashed Harry, and the entire team got squashed by the rest of Gryffindor, even Lee got here pretty quick. The rest of the day, night, weekend was one party and the team was seen as the biggest heroes ever. We got honoured all the week, mostly me, because I "led" them to victory they said. Even Draco, with no trouble congratulated me. Snape however avoided me and didn't speak to me anymore, not even for that time I should still see him. Two weeks afterwards how ever Dumbledore had an announcement he said. So when everyone sat in the great hall he started. "My dears, I have a pretty big announcement. As you all probably did notice, we have a very very good Quidditch team at our school. The Gryffindor team under the command of Joan Dhanes has got to no less then 700points this years and only 70 points against them. I decided that this team, and I've asked them whether they are ok with it, can actually enter the Quidditch World cup juniors." a lot of mumbling rose and Dumbledore waited until he could continue. "This means the team has to play during the examinations. But my dears I had an other good idea" he smiled and then continued pleased. "We'll do the examinations earlier for the entire school. So we all can go and cheer our friends, now as you all now the WC is more then three matches. The first match is in June if we win we can do the second match in September. Now I want all the school to cheer, but I also have another very hard task for Joan." now he looked at me, as did the entire hall, who looked back at him when he continued. We need a second player for all positions. These second players do not all have to be Gryffindors, on the contrary! I'd prefer it to be none. So it is all up to Joan who enters the school team. Joan, my dear, any idea how you'll plan this?" the entire Great hall looked at me and I felt becoming nervous, but took a deep breath and stood up. "I'll keep a sort of auditions, everyone who owns a broom and is not a last year, may enter these. I'll be at the pitch every evening from eight to ten. I won't be the only one choosing who enters. The entire team will assist me with this, as far as they want their selves." I nodded at the headmaster and sat down. "Very good Joan, very good, so students with a broom, not last years, this evening at eight to the pitch."

"ow yes this week and probably next week as well, I'll do auditions for chasers."

the team was excited as was the entire school. "I bet the Slytherins are to proud and stubborn to do auditions" Ron grinned. "I wouldn't be so sure." Ginny answered. So that evening we went to the pitch, almost half of the school was here. It was a disaster at some points, some people had a broom, but had never touched it! After two weeks of hard work and many discussions in the team I had two Ravenclow- and one hufflepufchaser. I was surprised, these people were better then the ones in the team of their houses. At the end of the two weeks Dumbledore announced who the new chasers were and congratulated them, this was followed by my announcement. "Next week eight to ten, beaters" so I had two strong beaters, but there sure was some work on, they'd get the same hard practice and they could become pretty good. So when they got the same welcome from Dumbledore I announced the next week would be for keepers. The beaters were a Gryffindor and a Ravenclow, who hadn't entered the normal auditions for the Ravenclow team. I found a hell of a keeper after two days and blast the other auditions off, sorry guys this is just the one! The entire team agreed. It was a hufflepuf, who had detention during the hufflepuf auditions. Then we had only the seeker position open, I'd waited with this till last and I knew pretty damn good why. The seeker candidates were only twenty of which ten entered for every position and were no good. Then there were five not able to hold their broom still. Then there was Cho, the Ravenclow seeker, two Gryffindors and Malfoy. The entire team didn't wanted Malfoy in, I knew that, but he was way out the best one. I thanked all five of them and said we had to discus it and they'd hear the results in the Great hall, that's the way the others had heard it as well. That evening I stayed with my team in the common room very long, discussing. "if Malfoy was the last candidate on earth I wouldn't want him in the team" Harry said.

"no way I don't want him in!"

"We should have the best team not the best friends, boys!" Ginny said.

"yeah, but Malfoy is willing to potion Harry, to play himself." George said.

"he's the best and he's waaaayyyy better then the others, I think we should take him." Fred said.

"He's a jerk, but alone, he won't dare to say anything! And no offence, but Joan can handle him!" Ned said. The discussion went on and on and on. Harry clearly thought Cho wasn't that bad. "So you think she's better then Malfoy?" Fred asked. And Harry had to commit, Malfoy just was better then everyone else. "since when do you like him?" Ned asked.

"enough!" I broke through. And everyone looked at me, surprised. "Malfoy simply is the best, there we all agree, right?" everyone nodded, not enthusiastic though. "Good, then he's in." the team began to protest. "Shut up! He's the best, he's in! he misbehaves? Good ten he's out! But for gods sake you're all like little children! I work with him in class Ned, so I know Harry and I did say this before Ron, he's not that bad." everyone just stared at me. "…"Ned wanted to start, but I rose my hand. "enough! He can be a good guy, I fact if he would have been in Gryffindor and had other friends, he even might be a good friend. Now I'm going to bed." the next morning I went to the professor Dumbledore, at the head of the Great hall. "you found a new seeker." I nodded my head " Draco Malfoy" the entire school appeared to be surprised when Malfoy walked on the stage shook Dumbledore's and my hand. While he was with us, Dumbledore asked so just the two of us heard it " that wasn't easy, was it?"

"no, but he was the best." Malfoy nodded, "thanks" he whispered, he knew how hard it had been, I could see that. "ow eum, miss Dhanes, professor Snape wants to see you at his office at six." I appalled, I completely forgot about that! "..uh…ok" then he nodded towards the hall "practice."

"ow…yeah!" and then I raised my voice for the hall "uhm, the first practice ladies and gentlemen is tomorrow at half past seven. I expect the both teams to be there, if you can't make it, tell, warn me, else you just might be out, ok? See you tomorrow."

I was pretty afraid for the next day, but fell a sleep quiet quick, completely forgetting my appointment with professor Snape. The next day I was as enthusiastic as I was scared the day before. The lessons seemed less boring and at the end of the day I nearly ate. "Joan, you'll do great, now eat!" Hermione said a bit bossy. "yeah yeah" and I took two bites to stop eating again. I noticed my friends looking at each other, but after an hour they gave up. We went down to the common room, trying to do some homework, but I couldn't concentrate, my enthusiasm was turned into fear again. Hermione spotted my absence and copied her own work to give it to me half an hour later. "Why don't you that for us?"

"because you don't have reason and you do ask, she's got a reason and doesn't ask."

"women…"

"don't even try to understand Ron" Harry said and they both went up to get their stuff for practice. I got upstairs to and almost didn't notice Hermione following me. "are you alright?" She asked. "yeah, I'm fine."

"are you sure?" I nodded my head while I took my stuff. "Joan…Is there something you're not telling me?"

"What?! How do you mean?"

"Well… I wouldn't know why you.. I mean you are a mental strong one and all…and I don't see why you should be so…scared, I mean no offence, but.."

"oh shut up Hermione! Do you actually have any idea, how It's like to be school captain, you know what pressure it is?"

"yes, well no, but I can imagine and well… I thought you are about the most suitable person to handle that kind of pressure, so that's why I'm wondering…"

"Hell Hermione! Ok, maybe you're right." But before she could say anything or I could continue, the room door opened. "Ah Joan here you are"

"yeah, I'll be right there Ginny."

"Is something wrong?"

"well, you as well?"

"no I mean, you guys look like I interrupted a discussion."

"as a matter of fact you did." Ginny looked from Hermione to me and back again. "Hermione here wondered why on earth I was so bloody nervous about practice." Ginny looked to Hermione: 'I guess that's quite obvious." Hermione went for defence immediately, "not if you're in class with her, you'd know Joan is very…"

"Believe me Hermione…I do know that, she's my captain." this was turning into an awkward situation so I decided to interfere. "ok Hermione" both the girls looked at me, surprised. "you're right, I am actually not telling you something. Something Ginny does know." both the girls were surprised and clearly expected me to continue. But instead I told Ginny we should hurry. Then I went down to the common room, were the rest of the team was waiting. I walk straight ahead till the Great hall. Were the others were already waiting. "ok is everyone here?"

"I guess so"

" eum ok keepers, yes, chasers, one, two three, four, ok got them all, beater one, two, three, ok. Seekers, Harry yes…where's Malfoy?" everyone in the hall began to mumble. "uhm ok you can already go to the dress room, I'll wait two minutes and then I'll come to. The players went to the dress room to get dressed, while the other students went back to the common room or the pitch, I waited a minute and then started walking towards the Slytherin common room. I had hoped I would have walked in on him, but I didn't so I stayed watching the entrance of the common room. When I saw a Slytherin coming out I walked towards him. "uhm, excuse me?"

"o well if it isn't Dhanes" he grinned and I saw he wanted to continue with humiliating me, but I interrupted him: " could you go back in there to tell Malfoy he has to be in the pitch in five minutes or he will be replaced by someone else."

"o no I won't I'm no owl, especially not yours!"

"ok then, I guess that means the last and actually only Slytherin player is out the team then."

"you are a real slut you know that?"

"I don't care." he gave me a mean look and then walked towards the entrance again and yelled inside without going in. "Malfoy? a there you are!" I could hear there weren't a lot of people in the common room. "Dhanes is standing here, you have to come, it's practice. If you're not going you're out." I could hear Draco saying something back, but didn't understand. "oh no you won't you're going to do this practice, I'm telling you!" he turned back around gave me another foul look and mumbled: " he's coming" and indeed half a minute later Malfoy got out the common room. " wanted to withdraw?"

"no of course not." for the rest we walked back to the pitch, silent. When everyone was dressed we went into the pitch. The stage had half of the people it had during a match and I felt uncomfortable. Fred noticed it an began to scream at some of the viewers. His brother accompanied him in the shouting and pointing. "ok, thanks guys, uhm people, please it's just practice!" under a lot of mumbling the audience left, accept Hermione and Lee. "ok" I turned to the doubled team. "first I want to check some things. I'm going to let you do the exercises I trained them on." said to the new ones nodding towards my old team, then we'll make it harder, ok?"

"harder? Hell yeah!" my old team clearly was more excited then the new, but they'll change soon I thought. And after a hard, very hard practice for all fourteen of us we went to the showers, knowing we'd be all stiff the next day. After two weeks of hard work and training every day I decided to train the entire team as one group, it wasn't easy, but it clearly was fun. The five chasers were divided in two groups Ned and Ginny against the other three. the other group had Ron as keeper and while they tried to score, Malfoy and Harry were Bludgers. The four beaters passed two Quaffles around and all was going well. I saw the team getting more attached everyday, except Malfoy, no-one liked the Slytherin, especially not Malfoy, he was mean and used every opportunity to laugh at the others. after holding up to this training for two weeks I left them play against each other. The new ones proved that this training made them worth wise. I hadn't heard anything off Snape anymore; through all the enthusiasm I just remembered when he asked me why I wasn't there. He still had a strange look in his eyes, but didn't individualized me anymore. I gave training everyday and always managed to be in the room with Malfoy alone a couple of minutes. But after these four good weeks I had to lessen practice, examinations were on their way. "Miss Dhanes, would you mind coming back this evening?" Snape suddenly asked at the end of the week I was overwhelmed and just nodded my head. Malfoy looked a bit worried, but didn't say anything. Determent not to forget it again, I went back that evening. Scared, but curious I went in the office. "Ah miss Dhanes welcome." I nodded my head and he continued. "you probably have been expecting this, I still want to figure you out, but I've started to think it's an impossible issue for a human creature to succeed doing that. What did worried me a lot is that you immediately reacted with your own opinion a couple of weeks ago. The dark Lord you said?"

"yeah, well I… I didn't mean anything with it or so I just…"

"don't!…play with me Joan. I know very well you thought of it more then once. It bothered you didn't it?…didn't it?"

"yeas it did, but…"

"now why would you think, Joan that I was on a mission that had anything to do the dark lord?"

"uhw, I'd think that's the only really important mission to stay away from school." I answered a bit uncertain.

"ok Joan you were right, but you're not suppose to be messing around, this mission is completely out of your line, do you understand?"

Yes I do, but…"I stopped because Snape had raised his hand, the gesture was with to much authority to ignore. "let's just say we might want to get company of him. He's out there trying to get to Potter and I can assure you, things aren't that well, but you must stay out of it and not talk to anyone about it. Ok?" I nodded my head and he continued. "if you prove yourself reliable I could tell you more." he added a small smile which gave me shivers. I nodded and left the room, then straight to bed.

The next morning I had breakfast without saying a word. "something wrong?"

"Nope" I smiled back at George, but I felt as if I betrayed each and every one of my friends, Fred and Ginny knew about Malfoy, but not because I wanted it. And still I didn't talk to them about Snape. It felt horrible, my friends were all so loyal and true to me they were my friends for real, it was time. So that afternoon Lee, the twins and I sat under a tree when I asked, " say guys…can I tell you something?"

"sure"

"uhu"

"what is it?" I took a deep breath and started. "I…I've been wanting to tell you this for a while, but I didn't get the courage. I think I owe you guys to tell you this, because you're my best friends, but it's rather hard…" I paused a while and then looked up at Fred. "I'm sorry, I should have done this earlier…I …I'm kind of in love with what might be the wrong person…" I looked at Lee, who looked kind of confused, and then to George, who looked just as confused and also a bit shocked, as if he knew who I meant. It was probably he did know, he was a joker, but a real smart guy too. "look this isn't easy for me to say and all, but I think I should…I just hope you're not going to hate me…"

"I must say Joan" George started a bit shocked still. " I'm quiet surprised… I didn't expect you to…"

"I know, me neither, but I can't help it, I've tried to stop it, believe me! The trouble is, it's kind of hard to like not love someone if this person loves you back…and"

"Joan! He…loves you? Am I thinking of the right guy here?" George said even more shocked.

"I don't know who you're thinking of, but I feel as if I'm the only one not having a clue!"

"is it that weird he can love?"

"yes! Love and him just doesn't fit the picture! Especially not with you!"

"especially not me? Why is that?"

"who are we talking about?!"

"because you're a Gryffindor! Lee are you bloody stupid?"

"so?"

"no!"

"are you guys like…together?" I could only nod my head as an answer. With Lee still looking confused, George started to look quite angry, I broke and dropped on my knees, because we'd jumped up a minute earlier. "Joan!" Fred grabbed me under my arms and pulled my back up. "Joan?" he kept me on my feet. "Joan, are you ok?" I felt the tears coming down my cheeks as I nodded my head. "yes, I'm fine" but I didn't lift my head, because I knew George would still be mad. I heard Lee asking again who this guy was and I heard George answer, spitting from between his teeth "Malfoy"

"What?!"

"Now Joan, I respect every choice you make, I don't like him, but love isn't a choice so you're just as good my friend." Fred said. But George knowing his brother better then whatever else was once more shocked: "You knew didn't you?"

"yes I did, George and I've seen thinks which make me even more sure of this decision!" I felt weird, George and Lee were angry and Fred stood up for me. I heard George sniff and walk towards the castle, followed by Lee. I felt bad, but even guilty when I realized I just put George and Fred up against each other. "I'm sorry"

"they'll turn, you'll see."

"I'm just worried if they already feel like this, how will Harry, Ron and Hermione react then!?"

Yeah, I know." we stood under the tree for just a while and then went inside for lunch, I was afraid for Lee, but especially George. When we got in the great hall we were one of the first ones so I felt relieved. Fred smiled at me, knowing what I thought. Just ten minutes Lee and George got in. they, to my surprise joined us I got a nod and smile from Lee, which I know meant: it's your decision, not my type, but your choice. George however ignored me. I only hoped he didn't tell the rest yet, I wasn't ready for that. The entire day George and Lee stayed with us again, Lee acting normal, George still ignoring me. Although he didn't look mad, it was as if he was…disappointed in me. That evening it was practice, but I didn't feel good, however I gave a hard practice, to not focus on George. Training was harder then ever , some players claimed they were surprised to notice they could still walk afterwards. In the dress room I handled slowly as did Malfoy, we always did, but I noticed George did as well, and therefore Fred too. When everyone was out except the four of us George spoke: "Well, well, Malfoy, our little Slytherin friend.."

"George?" Fred whispered. But George went on: "the only one in the team not making any friends yet, or is it a stupid mask you're wearing? Cause it recently seemed to me you've got a bit more then friendship on our mind."

"George.." I started now as well. George ignored me and it was silent in the room for a while. "…" Malfoy wanted to say something when George suddenly ran towards him and pushed him up against the wall. Malfoy was a tall, strong guy, but wasn't to be compared with George. He hung against the wall, George underarm against his throat. Then George threatened Malfoy." if you ever, ever, do her any harm, believe me boy I'll have reason and I'll find you, rip your arms out, break your legs, cut off every toe you have, make you run a circle, stuck your eyes out, shave off you hair, to finally break your neck. You get that? If you ever try, I sure will mate, believe me!" George voice was full hatred and he scared me, by threatening Malfoy. He backed off and let Malfoy breath again, now turning to me he said a lot easier: "I don't like you flavour Joan, but If it really is what you want…I guess It's your choice. Just…be sure."

"I … I thought you were mad"

"hmm no I'm just a bit… Well…shocked." I smiled and wrapped my arms around him "you're a good friend George!" then I looked at Malfoy: "I…uhm told him"

"oh really?" he said sarcastically, rubbing hit throat. George tensioned, but Fred grabbed his shoulder, "it's a joke mate, you kind of like just…well" I didn't listen to the rest and went Malfoy. "you ok?"

"now I am." I put my arms round his neck and he grabbed my waist, pressing his soft smiling lips against mine. "you sure have got some protective friends, I've never had so may death threats at such a short time!" I could see George looking at Fred, who put up his shoulders, smiling. "yeah well, Hermione, Harry and Ron don't know yet, they'll probably be more difficult."

"well I am nicer to Weasley and Potter lately, because, you know, the team, but yeah well Granger…"

"hmm we'll get there" and after a kiss we went back to out own common rooms.


	14. Chapter 14

The very beginning

**One by one**

Sunday was a day to make homework, because it wasn't practice then. And because of the bad weather we stayed inside the common room. I began to realise I longed for Draco, more then I had imagined possible. I missed him even if it was for one day and I began to see I'd have to become very careful, because I just might give free our relationship when I had to miss him to long. In order not to think of him my thoughts wondered on to Snape, what was he up to? Or better what was Voldemort up to? I felt trapped if I wanted to know more I shouldn't talk to anyone Snape had said. But if it was Voldemort then who would be the one to know? Harry is what I would think. I decided to go to the dungeons that afternoon. "ah miss Dhanes, not that I didn't expect you to come…I don't remember asking you?"

"I know professor…it's just .."

"I know Joan, I know." it felt weird when he spoke to me, using my first name and he had this strange spark in his eyes as if he enjoyed the moment. "I'm going to show you something." and he walked towards the pensieve. "come" he simply said and so I simply went. But just as I wanted to bent over, someone knocked at the door and I heard Dumbledore shouting with an urgent tone: "Severus? We need to talk."

"I'm sorry Joan, it'll .have to wait for the next time then." and there actually was a glitter of disappointment in his eyes

"o hey Joan, keeping up well?" I nodded to the headmaster, said I was and thanked him for asking, then I got back to the common room. And the rest of the day came by slowly, it did gave me the chance to make the tons of homework we had for next the week. "hey Joan"

"ow hey guys, where have been you been?"

"Hagrid"

"oh…" and we would have got in a conversation, but the twins came running in the common room. "JOAN!! Get you ass over here!"

"what? why?"

"c'mon!"

"ok ok, bye guys" and I followed the twins "guys what's wrong?"

"nothing really" George smiled.

"someone, just came to us to ask for you"

"so… it wasn't that urgent?"

"o it just might" and he nodded towards one of the empty classrooms and I went in, finding Malfoy in it. "Joan!" he smiled and came to me, closed me into his arms and kissed me tenderly. "what's wrong?" I asked. "nothing" he simply replied. "I missed you that's all. "we didn't see each other one day and you miss me?" knowing I missed him myself as well. He smiled and the nodded his head, "yes I do" I stayed with Draco in the room for another hour, having an déjà-vu feeling towards the holidays and I felt sad about getting out of the room afterwards. I went to bed early and got out early to, finished the little part of homework there was left. Monday was quiet and George had now gotten over his shock and teased me all day. "how's you tender lover?"

Then Tuesday, during potions Draco and I worked together well again, which I knew gave some satisfaction to Snape.

But that day Snape didn't wrote any instructions on the blackboard. "I need to reveal you guys something . You now get two minutes time to try not to forget in the future who is sitting next to you." I could sense the entire class was scared, though confused and curious. "With this partner you'll do some work for me." mumbling went through the class. "Silence! First let me finish!" The mumbling stopped immediately. "you'll be doing homework together for two weeks, you'll make a potion for me I'll give every pair another, you'll have to search how it needs to be done, make a paper of how you did it and what it's use is. Questions? Granger?"

"professor how exactly are we suppose to be doing this when the pairs go over two houses?" Snape looked irritated by such a dumb question, he turned around and swung his cloak while answering: "I'm sure you spent enough time in the library miss Granger, you can meet there and for the potion itself you can come to my class." the rest off the day Harry, Ron and Hermione kept complaining of the new task they were given. I didn't feel to bad for it, but I felt more and more like I should tell my friends about my love for Draco, but it probably would be tough. The practices felt good and with now Ginny, Fred, Lee and George knowing off my little-big secret, I felt a bit more sure. That Sunday Draco and I turned to the library searching for the recipe off our potion. Though walking to the corner of the library we ended up kissing against the bookshelves. And after spending three hours in the library I giggling copied the recipe. Then we both went up to our common rooms, I did some homework and felt (because of Hermione) the examinations were coming close, so I realized I should be rehearsing things already, but didn't feel like it. That evening I went to he dungeons, to meet Malfoy and start our potion, then back to the library we started copying things. As we sat next to each other we were appalled when suddenly Hermione greeted me. "Hi Joan" and then she gave Draco a foal look. "What?" Draco asked. "it's just, I think I'll have to do alone, while you're the most annoying Slytherin, sitting here and actually doing something." she added when glaring at his paper. "you probably didn't notice, but I'm a good student."

"yes, and we do get along pretty good."

"get along?" Hermione looked at me in disbelief.

"just because you're a mud blood doesn't mean I can't bare to work with an attractive Gryffindor."

"Malfoy!"

"What, no because I think you're attractive I…"

"not that part!"

"ow yeah well…sorry."

"What the hell is happening here? Joan! I'm going to get back to what I've been thinking for quite a while."

"go ahead, but I would appreciate it if you didn't shared your ideas with everyone yet. I'd love to do that myself." Hermione now looked confused and puzzled, it was strange though, seeing her like that. "this isn't happening" she said, but she was all swallowed in her thoughts. "as the matter of fact dear…"

"No!…I don't believe you!" I was a bit astonished and she probably saw it. "prove it to me."

"Why? We're not the ones wanting you to know it so badly." Malfoy interrupted. Hermione gave him a foal look, "you're not playing games are you?"

"no"

"cause it'd be very very insensitive and mean and courageless if you played on the command of the enemy!"

"wow Hermione…" I got up and walked towards her. "I…am not playing games…I….you're acting strange."

"I don't believe it, it's a joke."

"no it isn't" I hesitated "you want prove?" suddenly uncertain Hermione hesitated and then nodded. "ok c'mon then" and I walked to the corner of the library, followed by a becoming more uncertain Hermione and a confused Malfoy. At the corner of the library I looked at Hermione "sure?" she nodded her head, she wanted to be absolutely sure. So I took Malfoy's hand and pulled him towards me, he let him be led towards me, putted his arms on the shelves behind me and looked me deeply in the eyes and then we both gave Hermione, standing there, watching with her mouth open, a look. "this feels awkward." Malfoy smiled to me while he came closer I smiled at this noticing Hermione mouth go further open. "it is" I replied softly before he pressed his lips against mine. Then our mouths collided and there was nothing Hermione could do. When Malfoy backed up I slowly opened my eyes. And we looked at Hermione "Believe it now?" I asked. With Malfoy's hands still on the shelves and standing close together Hermione couldn't say a word. "you see now why I have been so darn depressed sometimes? I couldn't help it and fought this a long way."

"yeah you sure did, drove me near to crazy with it. I can assure you girl, hell I have been depressed!" I walked to Hermione "mione" she raised her hand. "I need to process his first." she turned around "Hermione, would you please just not tell anyone?" she just walked on, and I wasn't sure if she'd keep on to it. Draco and I worked on at our potions and left to our common rooms two hours later. When I got to the common room I saw Hermione sitting in the corner making homework with Ron and Harry the boys looked up, giving me a "hi" which made me know she hadn't told it. The next week I spent a lot of time in the library and a lot of time listening to teachers who told us to start and study for our examinations. Malfoy appeared to be a better student then I ever expected. And our potions task was top of the class, which Snape told the entire class of course. Maybe this was the time something changed in Hermione's head. I was better in defence against the dark arts and the other classes I followed in a year higher. I might have become a threat to her, I don't know. Something did happened and I expect it to be this. I wouldn't have known it until Ginny came towards me. "Joan? I need to talk to you" and I followed her. "now this may shock you, but I want you not to get mad right away, alright?"

"ok" I answered and so she went on. "Hermione came to me a couple of hours ago, telling she was becoming desperate because she couldn't tell anyone. She told me about you and Malfoy."

"But you already knew."

"yes, but she didn't knew that and seemed relieved to hear I knew, so she had someone to talk to."

"I just hope she didn't tell the boys. They'll be the hardest one to tell…"

"you think so?"

"of course they can't stand him."

"dear god Joan, may be if you were here since first year you would know that we all hate Malfoy, I do, George does, Fred does, yes maybe Ron and Harry do more, but do you really think anyone, anyone in this entire school could hate him more then Hermione?"

"What? How? I.."

"don't you see it, he's always daring every Gryffindor, more to Harry because he is famous. Deep down Hermione can only realize that he can't stand Harry because he is famous, better. And all the rest he just hates, but her, ow her he hates, because she, Joan, is a muggle-born, not better, but worse then him, he would make her crawl like a dumped old dog." I got quiet, the hatred her word were filled with, said enough, she hated Malfoy just as good and Hermione nine out off ten had talked to her earlier. "We don't blame you Joan, because you didn't know him before, you weren't here yet and didn't suffer the torture of him that rested among us. But yes I've seen it Joan, he's gentle around you, but will he ever be around Hermione? Being friends with Harry he probably can live with! The fame as his friend, why not? But a…mudblood? He probably won't be able to do that. Then again Joan, we know him longer then you do and we're just worried. He's NOT a kind person!" I couldn't say a word, every word she said was going straight through my hart. "I understand this must be difficult, but as I already told you, we're your real friends and we wont give up on you! He's your choice, we'll accept it!"

"thanks Ginny." there was a long silence. Then Ginny spoke again, on a less urging and convincing tone. "Hermione told me about a couple of weeks ago." I looked up at her, waiting at what would come. "She had a very hard time in there not only by what I just told you. But also no offence Malfoy is the "Slytherin hottie" as they say" she smiled. "Hermione certainly did not have feelings for him, but found herself better then him, because he was just showing off all the times and probably had had a relationship, some during two hours with all the girls the were so stupid to follow him around the entire time. She got to realize, he actually could love a good person, more important, he could love someone, the irritating little smirk had shown emotion, this was something none of us would ever though for possible!"

"I must say your overwhelming me!"

"good!" but she smiled and something must have told her it was time to quit preaching and tease me. "I ,tough, wouldn't mind it if you had kissed between the shelves in the corridor of the library to show me you were together!"

"you wouldn't?" she seemed to think of it but replied:" although I probably couldn't stand the picture!" she laughed and pushed me back into the common room. With the examinations coming closer I decided to go to the library more often and study there. Ginny had assured me she made sure Hermione wouldn't tell the boys, so we got along. I now met Draco in practice and the library. But a week before the examinations I had to cancel the practices. "Why!?"

"yeah good point it's some distraction!"

"exactly" I answered and gave the roughed practice ever to then burst into their examinations. I felt pretty good after the examinations, they went well and during the week after woods their would be people coming over to check if my team "had what it takes" to enter the WC and we of course could. Now practice got harder then ever, with the examinations over, we practically trained all day and students came over to look anytime. There were two weeks of relaxing coming up and the students liked it, after this the year was over. I wondered if Snape would ask me to come to his office again, if he didn't I told myself then I'd just go on the last day.

Wednesday the people for Quidditch were coming, I heard al kinds of names that I didn't hear of before. A lot of people worked on the WC, is what it made me realize. "Now Joan. Ready? Because this means there will be some people coming over here tomorrow."

"Yes professor we're ready."

"ok, very well, now I want to ask to everyone except the team itself of course, to help and recover the pitch as good as possible, make it look fine and we might have some matches down here." there was a lot of enthusiasm and a lot of people were willing to help. Everybody was excited, but not as much as the team itself. Meanwhile the practices Draco had become nicer, using the excuse he had to hang around all day. He wasn't friends with the others yet, but left away his laughing and comments and even gave a few compliments. Back in the common room I heard Harry and Ron talk about it. "I just don't get it, he's…almost changed."

"wonder why that is." The next day I tried to cool my team down and told them we could handle some stress. We got in the pitch and I flew right to the block were, Dumbledore had told me, this people would be. "Ah Joan, very good girl." Dumbledore said. "This my friends is the Joan Dhanes the teams captain."

"ah very well miss Dhanes." I had to shake some hands and then they told me to surprise them. I had explained the idea I had to let my first team play a match against the reserves. They agreed with that so after two minutes everybody was focused on the team. Ned, Ginny and I gave real fast passes and although my reserves team had become much better already, they couldn't get to us. They though knew us and got the Quaffle more then the other teams had. Ron was giving all he had in himself and only let pass two goals. The almost loveliest part was when Draco and Harry raced for the snitch. "It must have been one of the fastest little races ever I" said enthusiastic when we got in the dress room. "really guys, you all did very well, if they won't let us in I guess I want to check the guys that can get in!" and after we were freshened up and dressed we heard the news we were let in and would play our first match next week Tuesday. So after hearing this we trained every day at least four hours, except Wednesday, but the nerves were raising and raising. "Tomorrow, the entire school will be shipped over by port keys, be ready." Dumbledore said Wednesday morning. After the match of the previous week Draco had given Harry a hand and congratulated him. Harry was so surprised he kept discussing the issue with Ron. The days afterwards Draco began to tease people, but he actually didn't hurt anyone, and I was as well surprised, but Harry 's and Ron's faces were worth a lot. He could make fun jokes and make people laugh. It was strange to see how Draco created ambience. But while laughing Ginny looked at me and I knew she meant: it is time. "you can't let Draco do it all by his own!"

"I know"

"well c'mon then"

"it's not that easy!"

"but it is Joan, it is." I decided she might be right and I had to do it once. So when I got in the common room I went sitting between Harry and Ron. "say guys, I need to tell you something." I said they both looked a bit confused and Harry said "ok, go ahead."

"now I want you guys to not freak out immediately. Because it is kind of…shocking."

"tell us."

"well… you know I haven't quiet always been happy this year, right? You know I felt depressed and sad a lot, well I'm about to reveal the truth and tell why this was."

"ok nice."

"not really, because I didn't like it and hoped it would pass on, but it didn't." Ron still looking confused, but Harry began to look suspicious. "What is it then?" he urgently asked.

"Well, I'm…kind of…well …in love with someone, that I should probably not be in love with." both guys now looked in a strange way, I couldn't place the look, but when Harry asked, "Who?" I had to turn my eyes down and I mumbled with a small voice. "Malfoy."

"What!? O dear god, if he finds out he's going to…"(Harry)

"no he's not."(me)

"he is!"(Ron)

"no, because he knows, he.."(me)

"no Joan…Joan, tell me this isn't happening!."(Ron)

"Joan, you didn't , you don't, you can't!"(Harry)

"I can't help it!"(Me)

"but he's the enemy! He's the bad guys, the…"(Ron)

"enemy of entire Gryffindor, he's a…a… I don't care what he is he is not a good guy!, he can't possible be the right guy for you!"(Harry)

"no, absolutely not!"(Ron)

"Haven't you noticed that he is changed?!" (Me) but all of the sudden Ned came by "What's going on?" then something happened I never ever had expected Ron stood up looked at Ned and nodded towards me. "our oh, so beloved captain is walking over to the enemy."

"Ron!" but he and Harry went to their dormitories. And was left with Ned. "What does he mean?" figuring that it couldn't get any worse I answered. "I told him about my boyfriend… Draco" before Ned could react I went upstairs as well. I dropped myself on my bed and started to cry. When someone knocked at the door I quickly wiped of my tears and opened the door. Fred was looking worried. "are you ok?" I turned back while nodding and sat on my bed. Fred came sitting next to me and putted his arm around me. I laid my head on his chest and cried. "Now I don't want to worry you, but they're telling everyone, I got mad and told them not to but after telling five people the entire school will know it soon. So it is far, far greater

I couldn't do anything more then cry and nod. "there, there, it'll be alright."

"no it won't! the entire school will know and everyone will hate me, including Harry and Ron."

"not everyone will hate you, George and I won't, Lee won't, Ginny won't…I don't know about Hermione, but…Malfoy won't." I looked up a him and nodded. "you're right. But I'm not going to eat this evening. "What? it's Quidditch tomorrow, you can't lock up!"

"sure I can."

"no!"

"Fred…"

"look if you don't want to come now, ok so be it, but it's lunch now, I'm going to eat and tell Malfoy what happened."

"What? But he'll freak out! Exactly and if I need to I'm going to let him in the common room!"

"What!"

"yes!…now sure you don't want to come?"

"I'm not hungry."

"Joan.."

"alright, just stay with me."

"of course! Now c'mon." so we went down to the common room, which was empty and I hesitated. "everyone will be there."

"they sure will. Now c'mon, like you told me, you're a true Gryffindor with a lot of courage, we can handle this!" and so I followed him to the Great hall I noticed everyone looking at me, in spite of the fact I was hiding after Fred. Fred offered me to sit between him and George, who put is arm around me, looked me in the eyes and asked "you ok?" I nodded and smiled, but didn't eat until Fred forced me. I had only eaten three bites when my appetite disappeared again. "Not sitting at the wrong table are you?" Ron asked, but walked on by the look of his brothers. Harry, after giving me dirty look said. "We thought you were a new friend you seemed nice."

"Well she thought the same way about you guys, but you chose to be the mean ones, not giving her a chance."

"oh we gave her a chance Fred." and then he moved on. Hermione looked at me and I knew she felt sorry for me, but with Ginny's words still in the back of my head, I realized, this must be hard for her. She just followed her friends. And now that I had the attention the entire Gryffindor table was giving me foal looks. The news had already spread and got to Slytherin to, and after watching a bit Malfoy stood up, came towards the Gryffindor table and hold out his hand. I saw George giving him a small smile, almost against his will. I took the holding hand and let me be led as if there was no will of my own. He led me out of the great hall, away from al those watching eyes, into the quiet corridor. There was no need for words because we now exactly of each other how we felt. He stopped walked turned towards me and pulled me closer to him, let go of my hand and wrapped his arms around me. I did the same thing and putted my head, wet of tears to his chest. He laid his head upon mine and I could feel love and comfort come to me by his touch, and by the press of his hands on my back. He after a while loosened the grip a bit and looked in my eyes, so deep that had the feeling his gaze would never turn over and I didn't want him to go away, ever. He kissed me, so tenderly and loving that it gave me strength. He pulled back, whipped my tears of and took my hand to lead me back into the Great hall, the people were still looking at us when we got in, but I didn't care anymore, because I loved this guy and I was proud of it, he had just given me strength and comfort without saying a single word. He knew me I thought, it was as simple as that. He led me all the way to Gryffindors table, were the people all stopped eating. He led me to my spot between Fred and George, who by seeing my face accepted Malfoy better. When he had pulled all the way till this spot he stroke my cheek and said. "I don't care what others think."

"yeah, because since when would you ey Malfoy?" Harry said and stood up.

"I don't think your opinion still has any value Potter."

"my opinion has…o I don't know what's wrong with Joan, but know this Malfoy, you will never be accepted!"

"he will" the entire hall looking at me made me feel small, but I regained my strength when Draco putted his hand gently on my shoulder, "he will, by me and my true friends!" Harry seemed a bit overwhelmed. "true friends? I thought you were a true friend until you did this, you betrayed us!"

"that's enough Potter!" Malfoy interrupted. "the only betrayal I see is the one of a friend, not accepting choices of an other." while saying this he came stand between me and Harry and slowly took a step with every word towards Harry. "you" he continued. "are hurting one of you friends so badly your other friends even think you crossed it." he now was very close to Harry who looked at his friend and all but Ron turned their eyes down. Ron jumped up, pulling his fist. "you…" but he succeeded in hold it were it was. Ginny pulled her older brother down, while looking at Malfoy who was standing so close to Harry, not letting go his eyes, whispering. "I don't care for what reason Potter, but I won't let you hurt my girlfriend!"

He turned around gave me a kiss on my cheek and walked to the table of his own house. I sat down and noticed how Harry left the Great hall. "He'll turn by" George said. "I saw a flicker in his eyes, telling me enough, he knows, deep down, Malfoy's right."

"yeah and else Malfoy'll help him." Fred smiled.

"thanks you guys" and a bit later I left the hall accompanied by the twins. "you don't think they would fight do you?"

"well Harry can be suborn."

"but… Harry ..Draco."

"time for betting Fred?"

"hehe, well they both are good at duelling, but if they go on fist…"

"oh stop it guys!" while walking in the corridors we walked in on Harry and Ron, who clearly were discussing something. When seeing us they gave each other a mean look, to my surprise and Ron came towards me while Harry walked away. "I'm sorry Joan it's just that it's really weird for me as well as the rest."

"I know Ron it's ok." he gave me this special smile he did sometimes and we went to the common room. After being in my room, thinking of the day afterwards I went down to the common room and called Fred and George, I asked them to get Ron, Ginny, Ned and…Harry and come to the great hall. I went to professor McGonagall's office. "uhm professor?"

"yes Joan, what's wrong?"

"I was wondering if maybe you could manage a situation I get to speak to my team?" she gave me a weird look and then said, just go by the other heads they'll give you the password which changes tonight anyway, she said while writing a not, this'll be enough. So I went on the professor Flitwick and professor Sprout, who easily gave me the passwords then I went to the common room telling I expected my team down in a quarter. Then I went to the dungeons, though I stopped before Snape's door, I didn't feel like going in there. After a lot of doubt I knocked on the door. "yes" I sounded coldly and I opened the door. "Ah miss Dhanes, happy to see you, looking as if he actually meant it I immediately told him why I actually had come here. He seemed somehow disappointed, but gave me the password he almost let me easily go. "Say Joan, I think I remember we were interrupted last time?" I nodded. "well you're a bit busy now, we'll see if we've got time left soon." then he nodded towards the door and I need to keep my self calm not to start running towards the Slytherin common room. When I got in there I immediately felt stupid for coming there so fast, because everyone had this foul look on their faces and they all did look at me. I searched the faces, but didn't find Malfoy. I was appalled a bit when a tall guy, sitting in the black leather couch asked very brutal " What are you doing here?"

"I'm searching my team together" I answered jus as brute.

"you mean you're searching your boyfriend?"

"back off" a sudden voice sounded through the now quiet, Green common room. He told me to follow and he took up into his room. "What's wrong?"

"as the matter of fact I was getting the team in the great hall."

"ohw" then he smiled. "well" he sat next me on his bed. He moved his hand to my cheek and kissed me with such a tenderness I felt as if I lifted up from the bed and was going straight up to heaven. Enjoying his kiss I fell back wars on the bed. He held the kiss, moved along he putted his hands on the beside my head, and the moved his leg, getting in a position on top of me, still just kissing me. I enjoyed the kiss and almost didn't notice Draco was now above me. His lips kissed my mouth and then my chin. He softly kissed my throat and I just loved it his hand now moved from the bed to my waist, but then he backed off. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to"

"yeah I know, it's ok, c'mon we need to get to the great hall!"

"o yes, yes of course." though feeling bad of braking up the moment we went downstairs. With everyone coming in at the same time I felt somehow relieved. "ok" I started, "tomorrow we're playing our first match of the WC, we don't know our contestants, but…"

"Say Joan, now we're all here…you mind telling us what it is that got in your mind." I looked at Harry, who had said this. "excuse me?"

"you know what I mean! if I said I killed Ned for stealing my cookie would you consider that wrong?"

"what!?"

"would you?"

"of course I would, that's just a stupid question!"

"well that's exactly how clear my vision on you flavour here is."

"Harry!"

"no, I mean I you a holier-than-thou, self centric, filthy bitch!"

"Am I?"

"yes, you are, you.."

"then what are you?!" I felt I couldn't stop my tears from falling. Harry screamed something, but a loader voice came through. "enough! I've warned you Potter! His is the second time you crossed the line!" Draco was now standing before me, facing Harry. "what are you going to do Malfoy, bewitch me?"

"I'm not going to pull my wand for you!"

"…"

"after the betrayal you just did I wonder why I'm in Slytherin!"

"good one, stupid scumbag!" and out of pure hatred Harry pulled his fist and wanted to hit Malfoy who dived away and said "To bad Potter, Granger was better at it!" and he smacked his fist onto Harry's head, who fell, but just as fast got back up. "Now I don't want to hurt you Po…"

"Waddiwasi!" Draco was catapulted backwards and took me with him. Landing a few meters further Draco asked me if was alright and when I said I was, he turned around and took his wand. "you foul coward!"

"stupe.."

"protego"

"fy" the strong shield of Malfoy blocked the curse, Draco tried to disarm Harry.

"expeliarmus!" but he was rather quick.

"protego!…Reducto!" Harry screamed.

"protego! Stop it now Potter, this isn't…"

"Petrificus Totalus" Harry now yelled not giving Draco the chance to finish his sentence.

" LEVICORPUS!!" Malfoy screamed, loosing his patience, and surprisingly Harry hung up with his heels high. "now it seems as if a talk is on it's place."

"Harry…" I started.

"I don't want to know, leave me alone."

"we need to play as a team tomorrow, how are you going to solve that?"

"you're captain, it's your problem."

"Harry please.. I"

"I know what you're going to say and fucking right now put me down, it's bad enough!"

"I'm right?"

"yeah ok, everyone is I am selfish and all, but he's like my second biggest enemy."

"I know…I know" Harry's face looked sad, it made me feel bad as well.

"Liberacorpus" Harry went upstairs to his room without saying a single word. "ok guys, make sure you sleep and eat enough, and be in time at the dressing room! No off you all go!" Malfoy gave me a small and tender kiss before leaving. "told you he'd turn by." George said. "well he hasn't totally yet." after a long night with little sleep we went to the Great Hall, Harry not saying a word, although he did greet me. So we were on the right way I thought. During breakfast I could sense the entire school was nervous. After breakfast we'd be going to a Hungarian school, were we would play our first match, our stuff, clothes and brooms were already sent off. So an hour after breakfast the entire school began to disappear and appear in Hungary in small groups, surrounding a portkey. The excitement was very high as were the nerves. "I'm sorry" Harry whispered when he grabbed the portkey. "I am" I wanted to answer, but we were on our way to Hungary. Once landed I first needed the landscape get to me. It was beautiful, "wow" I sighed. The school building itself was only half as big as Hogwarts and definitely could contain only half of the students, it was hard to believe this school entered the WC every year, while Hogwarts almost never did. While thinking this I realised I had forgotten something and ran a little while to catch up on Harry, I grabbed his shoulder and when he looked back with a surprised face I just said. "it's ok…and thanks" he smiled, nodded and caught back up with Ron and Hermione.

"yeah thinking the same thing"

"told you so"

"ain't a bad guy that Harry"

"no definitely not"

"guys stop it!" Fred and George just gave me an amused smile and then the four of us(Lee had joined us.) followed the rest towards the school. Were we had an extreme warm welcome. I suddenly realised the twins and I walked between the others students, as did Harry and Ron and if I gave it a look so did the others as well. The Hungarian school must have been surprised seeing twice as much students as their school contained coming in and not seeing a Quidditch team. "Professor Dumbledore!"

"ah professor Kàroly!" the two men walked toward each other and gave a friends hug. "you sure do have a lot of students" the man said, nodding towards us, all students didn't even get inside. "all students a rise!" the man said and every student of his school stood up, with a simple gesture the tables disappeared. The Hungarian students were looking to us and now went standing closer to each other so the other students could get in as well. But nobody of Hogwarts moved and I could feel Dumbledore's shame coming if it would less another second, so I stepped forward, followed by my three friends and pretty quickly by the other students as well. When all students got in we were one mass of students standing, stood next to a couple of Hungarian boys who's look went down to my feet and up again, I looked at Fred, he was looking to the Hungarian boys, who now smiled at each other. But the smile disappeared when another guy nodded to Fred. "Dear, dear students, today we are gathered here in a let's say pretty crowded hall." professor Kàroly smiled at his own words and I noticed how the respect towards the headmaster was much less here then it was in Hogwarts. "We are accompanied today by professor Albus Dumbledore and his students of Hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry. They are here because of the opening match of the Quidditch WC junior. Welcome! Professor" he added nodding at Dumbledore. "thanks you professor" this one responded. "I think now is a good time to introduce the team?" Kàrloy nodded. "Well as first I wish to introduce you to our team captain, who has led the team into the WC" I felt tingles going through me, Dumbledore hadn't mentioned this! "I'm pleased to introduce you…Joan Dhanes!" I walked to the stage were Dumbledore was standing and Fred gave me comforting smile while George gave me a supporting shoulder pat. I could feel the Hungarian boys' surprise. I walked till I got to Dumbledore who nodded. "Joan"

"Professor" I nodded back.

"so as I already said this is our team captain, do you mind introducing the rest Joan?"

"what? Uhm…I mean…yes sure." I looked around in the hall, where a lot of students looked up at me. "uhm hi" I smiled. And through the hall sounded laughter, I relaxed and continued. "Well as professor Dumbledore said, I am Joan Dhanes, captain of the team and first play's chaser. Ginny Weasley, friend of mine and also first play's chaser."

"Ginny would you come up here?" Dumbledore helped. And when Ginny stood a side me I continued. "Ginny Weasley" the Gryffindors now cheered as did the Hufflepufs and Ravenclows, because they knew we were one team now. Slytherin didn't of course. "Ned Wares, who's already on his way here is our last first play's chaser. Our beloved beaters, also already on their way the lovely twins Fred and George Weasley!" the cheering was enormous and the boys just smiled. "ok our first play keeper Ron Weasley!" I realised what came now could lead to lot of surprise so I decided to not hand it of to soon. "next I've got my first play's seeker, whom you all know, don't be surprised Harry Potter." I had warned them, but they still were surprised and now all looked at Harry, I decided to continue just like it. "then we have my second play's chasers, Eleanor Branstone, Lisa Turpin and Orla Quirke" the three girls, two ravenclows and a hufflepuf came on the stage. "then my second play's beaters Kevin Withby and Euan Abercrombie" the two beater also came up. "then my second play's keeper Justin Finch-Fletchley. And as last my second play's seeker Draco Malfoy!" after this welcome we could have lunch in some emptied classrooms. We would start an hour after lunch so I used the hour to walk round the building with Draco and then went to the pitch with the entire team. after three quarter we left to the dressing rooms and got dressed. "ok guys, I don't think this'll be not a to hard game so, we should actually be able to win this." I now turned to my second team players "you're going to start at the side, but if I'm not wrong I've seen the Hungarian beaters, they don't look half as aggressive as the other ones, so you might get in the air." I winked and then turned gesturing to follow into the pitch.

"Here comes the Hogwarts team!" some guy from the ministry screamed. And the cheering was pretty overwhelming. We were waiting for the words of Madame Hooch, that of course didn't come an this gave Hungary already a head start. "10-0"

"come on guys up!" I screamed and I saw the same anger in the eyes of my team that rested in me. After their first goal our contestants felt pretty good and let them be overwhelmed by the fast playing and flying of Ginny, Ned and myself, in a quarter the scores had changed. "10-60" Fred had already knocked one of their player out by the fastest bludger I ever had seen. But Ned also was changed in for Orla already. Harry caught the snitch before the Hungarian seeker had even seen it, so it was a quick match that led to 10-210. When we got back to Hogwarts the ambience was there, everyone was happy, but I still saw the face of the humiliated Hungarian captain when he came to "congratulate" me. I was darn happy to get back at Hogwarts, because if we'd stayed longer it wouldn't have ended well. That night I laid in my bed, thinking in two days school was over, we'd be turning back to our homes. I wasn't sad about going to my father, but I'd had to leave my friends and…Draco. The next day I started packing, because I woke up pretty early and didn't feel like going to the great hall alone. I packed silent, not to wake the other girls and when Hermione woke up I had already packed over halfway. Then I went down to the common room with Hermione. "The guys probably are still asleep." she said. And then the expression of her face changed. "oh, they won't have started packing to, they do it every year and I every year push them to start!" she sighed. "guess I'll have to do it again."

"what about the twins and Lee."

"sorry Joan I'm not really a fan of them." then she smiled and went up in the common room, I decided to go and wake them other boys. When I got in the room it was silent and dark. I opened the curtains a bit, so just a little bit of light got in the room, Lee went sitting straight up. "Joan?" he whispered.

"yes" I whispered back.

"what are you doing?"

"Waking you guys" I smiled.

"but…why?" I just laughed and walked towards George's bed. "George?" I said while kneeling next to his bed. "yeah yeah I know" he said and turned away from me. I stood up and walked to the only bed left. Which was used by the one person in the world, except Draco, would give me a warm feeling by thinking of him. He had been a better friend then I ever could have expected. I went sitting on the bed and laid my hand on his shoulder. "Fred?" he turned to face me and looked worried. "What's wrong?" I smiled at seeing his concern. "nothing I've come to wake you, because you'll need your time, else you spent the whole day at only packing!"

"ow, yeah right we'll be right there." when I got down I just saw Hermione, Harry and Ron leaving the common room and dropped myself in the chair. When the boys got down we went for breakfast. Afterwards, they'd start packing and I'd finish packing, at least almost since we still had tomorrow. Round noon I went to the dungeons finding Snape in his office. "ah Joan, I've been expecting you." I nodded and he walked towards the pensieve "c'mon" he said. And without any doubt I walked towards I and went into Snape's memories.

"I need you to do this for me Severus, you're the only one who can manage this."

I saw doubt in Snape's eyes, but also could see he had never ever refused to do something Dumbledore has asked him. So he nodded his head. "good" the old man responded, clearly satisfied. "You know were he is?"

"yes."

"very good Severus, you know what to do" Snape nodded. And I stood back in the office. "that's all you need Joan, now enjoy your holidays, see you at your Quidditch game next month, by the way you guys did great."

"uh.."

"Bye miss Dhanes" and with those words he pushed me out the room. I went to the great hall a bit astonished.


	15. Chapter 15

The very beginning

**Last day and on the train**

"Hi Joan" Harry greeted me, for the first in the last days.

"ow hi Harry!" he got a grin on his face noticing how much my face cleared up.

"hi"(Ron)

"Ron"(me)

"Joan"(Hermione)

"mione…were are the boys?""(me)

"they'll be here soon."(Hermione)

"the boys? Then what are we?"(Ron)

"you know what I mean Ron."(me)

"actually you can be quite sure he doesn't"(George, behind me.)

"yes there are a couple of things you should know pf our baby brother." Fred now grinned.

"ow shut up" Ron said, clearly not happy with his brothers showing up.

"mum should give him a sweater that contains warnings in the front." George went on.

"and back!" Fred pushed.

"warning 1 complete imbecile." George smiled.

"2 might make unusual faces." Fred smiled wider.

"in awkward situations, sets off peeping alarm sound." George now laughed.

"when jealous, sets off red light!" Fred also laughed, only that Lee and I busted out in laughing now as well. Harry and Hermione tried to hold their laughs for their friend, but it was quite obvious they say the humour of it. "c'mon guys let's just eat." and so we did, after woods we went back to our rooms. After half an hour I went downstairs and when there was no-one in the common room to went to the owl wing, searched an owl an gave him a little note and then sent him off to find Draco and by the note tell him to meet me at the lake. I watched the bird set off and went down, to go outside, towards the lake. After walking a while near it I startled, from two strong hands on my shoulders. "djee Draco, do you always need to do that?"

"you always run away, so I can stay over there and wait or come up to you." he smirked. I turned around putted my arms around his neck while his hands went to my waist and kissed him. "tomorrow we're going home." I said when we broke up for a couple of inches. His eyes went from my lips, straight into my eyes and back to my lips, he nodded and then pressed his lips against mine again. Then he backed up a few inches and looked back straight into my eyes. "I'm going to miss you" I told him. He nodded and said. "but we'll see each other."

"how do you know?"

"because we have to." I must have had a rather confused look on my face cause he continued. "as I already noticed this year, I won't survive two months without you." I smiled up at him. "I'll have to see you every week."

"I hope you do!" and after another kiss and some walks round the lake we went into the great hall to go and eat. "tomorrow we're on our way home." Ron said during dinner.

"whoa ey, did you hear that Fred? What a genius!!" George said with a wide enthusiasm.

"warning 5 May blew you off with brilliant infusions!" everyone laughed and I got into bed with mixed feelings that evening.

The next day I got dressed and finished my packing, went for breakfast and waited at the great hall, Gryffindor's table. Dumbledore told us that at the 24th July the Hogwarts express would come to Hogwarts, for the next Quidditch match. Then we got on the train. "say Joan, Hermione and Harry are coming to us this summer, do you want to come as well?" Ron asked. Just when Fred came in saying "Joan, you're coming to us this summer aren't you?" we all laughed pressed us in a compartment with seven people. The door opened again and we all looked up at Draco. "uhm.." he swallowed. "hi"

"hi" I jumped up.

"hi Malfoy" Fred said, I knew this was to please me and it did. George just nodded. "Missed you" he said, while looking a bit embarrassed by the presence off all these Gryffindors. I softly touched his lips and then pulled him in the compartment and pushed him on a seat and then sat in his lap. I could see the faces of my friends, but ignored them and started to play with Draco's hair. "Where are Crabbe and Goyle?"

"in the back."

"I honestly still don't understand what you're doing with them as friends." I smiled. But Draco was rather serious as he answered. "me neither…they are rather stupid. Not a to high intelligence quantity !"

"ow if you're searching for that you shouldn't be here either." George grinned, and I as well as Draco looked up, surprised, because he said something and because what he said. As usual Fred continued George sentence "our baby brother isn't that intelligent as well." I started to laugh with the twins and Draco couldn't stop himself of smiling, which surprised the other. "Guys! You're suppose to be on my side!" Ron yelled at his brothers. "we are" they smiled, together. "at least your baby brother has SOME brain." Draco said to the twins, who now looked at him with a certain interest. "They've got the memory of a teaspoon, don't think, speak even read or look for themselves. The only truth that ever comes out is when a nice little Maltheser comes to them, then they would say: hey look a Maltheser, coming to us! And they'd probably be so stupid to pick it up and shove it of in their mouths!" the twins as well as the others burst out in laughing. "honestly Malfoy if you hate them so much, why do you hang out with them?"

"I honestly don't know." there was an uncomfortable silence after that. "I guess I should be checking on them." Draco said after the long pause.

"what are you? Their babysitter?" I asked for teasing.

"sometimes I consider myself that way yes."

"stay" I now whispered.

"I can't" he whispered even softer. I knew what he meant, he couldn't because he was uncomfortable with my friends as it was the other way around as well. As soon as he shot the door. Everyone started talking again and it made me pretty angry. But I realized on the other hand it was rather normal as well. While thinking that I thought back of Ginny's words that had touched me so badly.

_We don't blame you Joan, because you didn't know him before, you weren't here yet and didn't suffer the torture of him that rested among us._

The train slowed down and I realized we were in London. We got of the train and got our stuff together. "Ginny! Ron! Fred! George!" Mrs. Weasley yelled. "o so good to have you back. Ow Harry come here." she gave Harry a hug and then also hugged Hermione. "oh and Joan, dear I'm so sorry you couldn't come during the holidays!"

"o really Mrs. Weasley that's just fine!" I said and smiled when she gave me a hug to.

"she had rather fun." Fred said. But I wasn't listening and I searched to find Draco, when I saw him he was staring at the train. "I'll be right back" I said to the people standing there with me and noticed how their eyes followed me up till I was at Draco. He turned around and smiled. "there you are!"

"here I am" I said, before I gave him a long hug and a passionate kiss. "we'll sent letters and then we'll look when we can meet, ok?"

"ok" I putted my arms around his neck and kissed him. His hands on my waist gripped more firmly. I let my head lower on his shoulder and let my hands lower to his shoulders and pressed him closer to me, pulling myself up against him. When we broke up our hug I had tears on my cheeks and saw his eyes were a bit wet as well. I smiled "I'll miss you."

"we'll see again soon." he replied. And I turned away to walk back to the Weasleys. I could see Mrs. And M. Weasley were a bit shocked, but left it alone. "uncle Vernon is here, see you guys!" Harry said before he ran off.

"bye Harry!"

"well there are my parents, bye" Hermione said, she gave me and Ginny a hug and waved at the others. Realizing I was the only not-Weasley I felt pretty uncertain. "uhm, my dad will be here soon."

"oh don't bother dear."

"ah there he is! Well ehm thanks and bye you guys, oh say! O crap Harry's gone already." everyone looked kind of confused to me. "Quidditch, do practice will you, in July crap!"

"look the week before the match the both of you stay with us and you can practice, ok?"

"yeah?" I asked and looked at Mrs. Weasley, who just nodded. "great! Thanks!"

"no problem dear."

"well bye then" I quickly threw my arm around Ginny, Ron and George and threw them both round Fred, "I'll miss your personal pep talks" I whispered while he grabbed me as well. "bye guys" and I walked towards my father. "hi" I hugged him to and he nodded towards the Weasleys "found friends?"

"sure did." I had told him about Quidditch and Draco in the letters and on the way home he asked when Quidditch was, I immediately used this to ask if I could go to the Weasleys that summer. "Sure you can" he said. "what about Draco, why didn't I see him?"

"o you will, soon.. He won't be able to miss me to long." I smiled. And I was sure my father didn't mind


	16. Chapter 16

The very beginning

**Summer vacation**

When we got home we ate and I told my dad how great Hogwarts, my friends, Draco and Quidditch were. Then I started to unpack and went to bed early, tired of the sudden change. The next morning I woke up by the smell of coffee and eggs with bacon. I got dressed and went down. "Hi dear!"

"hi dad!"

"I made breakfast" he smiled. I smiled back and sat down, as did he after he gave me some coffee and eggs. we were eaten when my dad suddenly spoke. "Say, Joan." he had a strange tone in his voice and I stopped eating. "yeah?"

"well I had a bit off a discussion with my boss…and uhm he told me I only have six weeks of vacation on a year…"

"yeah, but you haven't took any yet."

"but I'd love to be home at new year for a week now."

"hmm"

"so there are three weeks of the vacation that…"

"well the week before Quidditch I can go to the Weasleys and I can ask Malfoy to stay over at his place."

"hmm, yes I guess so, I'd loved to see the game though."

"well then you better come and watch when the game is at Hogwarts."

"when is that?"

"uhm, I'll check it."

"wait…please eat first." I ate my breakfast and then went for the paper Dumbledore gave me.

Hongaskan (Hungary)-Hogwarts June

Graicon(Greece)-Beaubatons(France) June

Kammfels(Bulgaria)- Glioscan(Scotland) June

Parkers(America)-Jogertsa (Spain) June

Hochein(Germany)- trouchbaniah (Morocco) June

Beabatons - Hongaskan July

Kammfels - Jogertsa July

Trouchbaniah -Parkers July

Kammfels- Hochein July

Glioscan-Hogwarts July

The winners will go through, teams that loses 2times are out, teams that lost one have to play to each other in August. I'll give you next one to, but no Hogwarts in the Holidays yet!

"Oh, your previous school is in!"

"yeah, I was surprised of that as well!"

"Kammfels..is that?"

"yep! But no Hogwarts yet, I'll let you know as soon as possible" I smiled.

"ok then" he smiled also and gave me a kiss on top of my head. Then he went to do the dishes and I walked into the little garden behind the house. I looked at the big tree that stood on the right and softly began to walk around it holding my hand on the tree. I thought of the big tree at Hogwarts, that had become a favourite spot. I sat down and looked up at the big head of the tree. Thinking of Hogwarts I remembered thinking of Draco once when I was under the tree at Hogwarts, I wondered back then Why is it that at a beautiful day like this, the sun all shinning, there were no leaves on there branches yet. I remembered thinking how come there aren't any leaves yet? It was actually rather stupid though. I thought back of Draco and Hogwarts. I was appalled when an owl, which I recognized to be Draco's came next to me, giving me a letter.

Dear Joan,

I'm missing you already and we're only at home for one day! I want to see you, because I'm getting rather lost here without you…it's like you're my signpost, simply as a kettle, but steady as a rock, though also beautiful as a unicorn. Joan! I miss you!!

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Draco

I smiled and went inside. My father looked up, but I sat at the table with parchment and feather. And began to write. "Who are you writing?"

"Draco" I smiled. And gave him the letter. He read it and smiled. " ask him if he likes to come here for the weekend. Then I get to meet him as well."

"oh dad!" I got up and hugged him and quickly began to write.

**Dear Draco,**

**I miss you to! And the letter you sent me was really sweet! My father asks if you'd like to spent the weekend here!!**

**Lyxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Joan**

I smiled at my father, the same evening I got an answer from Draco, he was coming! The whole weekend! I was very excited and so was my dad. I spent the rest of the week with my father, cleaning, but also for small trips. Friday evening was the time, Draco was coming through the fireplace. I sat at the living room, waiting. And around half past eight Draco appeared in our living room. I jumped up and before he could take a look at the house I hugged him. He moaned as he grabbed my waist and pulled my close to him. I lifted my head from his neck and kissed him, then we broke up and I turned around to say, with a bit of a pumpkin-head. "Draco, this is my dad.. Dad, this is Draco…my boyfriend." my father smiled and came towards Draco and shook his hand. He pointed his wand at Draco's luggage and this went upstairs. "I'm afraid you'll have to share a room, we only have got to rooms, but I feel I can trust my daughter." he smiled, but left an awkward situation. Me and Draco turning red, but he kept on talking and questioning Draco. Round eleven we got upstairs and pulled on our pyjamas. I got into my bed, followed by Draco. "oh I've missed you, you know I really did!" he said, "I knew I would, but…"

"I know" he was lying on his side his head resting on his hand. I pulled myself towards him and he held me on tight. He kissed me and kissed me again and over again, long and full of passion and by this I realised, he loved me and had missed me. He softly pushed me over, so I laid on my back. His kissed went from my mouth to my neck and I took his chin to look him in the eye, not needing words to say I didn't wanted to go were he did, yet. I fell asleep with my head and hand on his chest and with his arm around me.

We woke up in the same position and my dad took us to the mall. Sunday Draco went back home after a long hug, I found the weekend had passed to quickly. The next week I spent with my father and was though lovely. After this week, he had to work a week and I'd go to the Weasleys. My father apologized a hundred times and I told him every time that it was just fine.


	17. Chapter 17

The very beginning

**Back for Quidditch**

So Monday morning I took some flewpowder and was in the most cosy house I'd ever seen. "Joan!"

"hi!"

"Joan!" a lot of voices sounded through each other. "hi guys" Fred hugged me and smiled. I sat at the table when the Weasley's had breakfast. I had to tell Molly at least fifty times I already ate and I was fine. When they were through eating Arthur went to get Harry and Molly was wondering if they should sent an owl to Hermione. "She'll be bored mum, we'll all play Quidditch! We have to train!"

"Say Joan…What about the others?"

"I don't know I guess we'll have one practise before the game."

"who's the contestant?"

"Glioscan, that's Scotland."

"and?"

"I think we're able to beat them" I smiled. "Harry!"

"ah Joan, here already?"

"my father had to work, so I got here early."

"Say Joan" Ginny interrupted. "How's Malfoy?"

"Good he's been to visit me the first week and my father likes him. We though have been missing each other for a week now…"

"haha, you'll live, right?"

"he's nice? I guess love can indeed change people." Ron said.

"did you hear that Fred? Ron is getting something. 6: gets started slowly."

"o yeah that reminds me of number 7: not unusual to not know things."

"c'mon guys! Let's play Quidditch!"

"Yeah!"

We trained for about three hours and then got in to fresh up, we were all exhausted. Then Molly forced us to eat and clearly everyone was hungry, but also so excited they couldn't eat. After breakfast we went up. Normally in previous year, Fred and George would go to their room, experimenting. Ron and Harry would go up and Hermione would join Ginny. I liked the youngest Weasley very much, but I simply was better friends with the brothers. I wondered what to do when Ginny helped me out. "Oh, I… excuse me." and she ran back down. She later on told me she wanted to write a letter at her boyfriend. But at least I now could join the boys without any bad feelings. I could see in Harry's and Ron's eyes they were about to discus something I should not be hearing so I followed the twins. In their room they both grinned at me. "you should have seen mum's face when you kissed Malfoy!" Fred said.

"yeah, don't like Malfoy and the whole thing, you know that, but it was a very very long time ago we got her to give an expression like that!" George fell in and he started to laugh by the thought of his mothers face. "lovely" he added. Then we talked about what we had been doing in the vacation. "…and in ten days it is Quidditch."

"yeah, I still can't believe that we made our way in!"

"well Joan trained us well."

"and you're good players, that's important to!…by the time we're at Hogwarts again I haven't seen Draco in two weeks and two days, it seems so much longer." I thought out load.

"No details please" George grinned. "By the way about your dad and his vacation and all…are you going home after Quidditch?"

"no, I'm going to stay at Draco' for a couple of days."

"a couple of days? After these ten days with us… you have to be away for like eleven days!"

"yeah, but we're separating them, so we see each other more often."

"you can come back here to if you want." I smiled at him saying that. "thanks George…I might be inviting you over as well, my dad is like anxious to meet my friends…I can't deny mostly Harry, but that's of no importance."

"well…can you blame him? I saw your face at the station to you know." I flushed lightly when I smiled. Well yeah in America he was only a legend, because we haven't seen him there you know."

"yea yeah. Tell me, how was your first expression of the rest of us?"

"what?"

"yeah you know what did you thing when you first saw us, Ron, Ginny, Hermione,…Malfoy"

"BOYS, JOAN! DINNER'S READY!" Mrs. Weasley screamed from downstairs. So I was saved from my first expression thing and quickly went down to eat.

"tell me Joan, you must have a special influence on most of the people in this house, how come?"

"I honestly don't know Mrs. Weasley, but the talent each of the people here has, is in their selves, I don't put it there."

"still Wood didn't succeed in getting us in the World cup."

"well…yeah, I don't know." there was an awkward silence and then the conversation turned to Mr. Weasley's work, but couldn't get ride of the look in Molly's eyes. And I did notice how she still followed me the entire evening. I shared a room with Ginny and slept pretty good. The next few day's we mostly played Quidditch and wizard chess. And I got letters of Draco everyday, getting more and more desperate. One of the lasted was the sweetest letter I ever had.

DearJoan,

I never thought I'd miss you

Half as much as I do

And I never thought I'd feel this way

The way I feel about you

As soon as I wake up

Every night, Every day

I know that is you that I need.

How can it be that we can

Say some much with so many words?

I've got to be near you

Every night every day

I can't be happy

Any other way

I'm sure, it's love, I love you Joan, and I miss you!

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx Draco

I was touched by the letter. It all was great fun at the Weasleys though and at the 24th Mrs. And Mr. Weasley took us to the station. I didn't see Draco and decided to just get on the train with the others, we found a big compartment and shared it. After half an hour a blonde guy opened the door and looked in "hi" he said and everyone looked up, but immediately away again when I jumped and putted my arms round his neck. I pressed myself to him, held him as close as I could and then kissed him.

"I've missed you"

"I missed you to." We removed ourselves from the others and stayed together the whole time. Hugging, kissing, touching, no need to speak we just looked in each others eyes.

When arriving at Hogwarts, I joined the twins and Lee again. We all went back in the great hall and it felt as if school has started over again. "Dear, dear students, as you all know, were are gathered here on the 24th July, not for school, but for Quidditch!" there was a lot of cheering, before Dumbledore continued. "Now I have some stuff to explain, but I guess you just want to eat now, so…attack." and after finishing dinner, with lots of laughter, mostly because of the twins and Hermione's face, Dumbledore spoke again.

" I'm very pleased to see you're all here, the team will get a bit of time soon to practise a bit, I suggest you then go to sleep and kick ass in Scotland!"

"two times a bit, is it enough?" Ned smiled. "to kick ass, it sure is" I smiled while shaking my head, strange boy.

The team left the Great hall, one by one to get ready and come to the pitch. "ok guys, most of you I haven't seen for nearly a month. I hope, and I truly do, that you guys have been practising. I know the entire first play except Ned has, so you can practise at the pitches there, the other guys, stay here and we'll see what you make off it."

Practise however went unexpectedly well. So after a long shower and a Draco's goodnight kiss I went to bed.

The next day I woke up early of pure excitement. Quidditch today! I almost screamed it as I realised, instead I got dressed and hurried down. Seeing the rest of the team being up early as well. "morning guys!"

"hey morning Joan!"

"let's go and eat."

"uhm we were waiting for…"

"it's not school yet, they're not overloaded with stress, it may take a while."

"yeah you're right."

"good boy!" so we went down to breakfast and as I expected all Quidditch players were at the tables already and a few early students as well, but the teachers table wasn't fully loaded as well. "what time is it anyway?" I asked, getting to feel strange about it.

"half past six." Fred looked to see my reaction. "What? Damn, we got a whole lot of time left!"

"that's good, right?"

"uh..guess."

"hey love." a sweet voice sounded from behind me and two hands softly rested on shoulders, followed by Draco' chin.

"morning" I answered. He kissed my cheek and followed us to the Gryffindor table.

We sat down at ate, Draco however had already eaten and to the disgust off my friends he stroke my cheek. "I've missed you…I've missed you so much." he whispered in my ear. I could see the twins, Harry and Ron were glad when we stood up and went to the pitch I made them do some simple, not to hard exercises. And after a shower we got back inside. Hermione and Lee sat at the table, it was kind of a funny sight though. They looked up and greeted us. Because of the large amount of students and teachers Draco walked to the Slytherin table and we joined Hermione and Lee. "hi"

"trained already?"

"uhu"

"wow!"

"yeah we were up at six thirty so.."

"wow, that's…"

"yeah well, Hermione we're kind of stressed here!" when they finished eating we went up in the common room. I gestured Harry and Ron to come with me and the twins and Ginny got Ned. "ok guys… second match today, but it doesn't need to be harder! Because it's still the same level as last time. we'll have to play each of this teams and the winner will go further on, so losing might be not so fatal to…I know I said this before, but I've got a lot of faith in you guys…I think we can do this, we deserve at least a second round."

"but…it's the WC!" this was the first time I heard Ned speak uncertain.

"yes Ned, it is…but not every headmaster handles like Dumbledore, at Hogwarts you need to be very, very good to get in…we'll manage you know."

"uem… miss Dhanes are you in here?" McGonagall's voice sounded through the common room.

"yes?" I stood up and looked at her.

"could you follow me please?"

"uhm…yeah sure. I saw my friends looking worried and confused, expressing with their faces what I felt, but I walked on confident, chin held up trying to comfort my team this way. I followed McGonagall, but not to her office. In an empty corridor she stopped and turned around. "Joan…the head of the team you'll be playing against in a couple of hours is here…so we're going to see him and his captain, ok?"

"what? Uh professor, why …I mean…what?"

"can't help, sorry, now come on." astonished I followed her up into Dumbledore's office. "ha Minerva, thank you" Dumbledore seemed somehow very excited, then again he nearly always was. "Joan, I'd like you to meet professor Andraste and Keiran, the captain of the team you'll be playing against this afternoon." I nodded and shook both men hands.

"the game is still in Scotland, right?" I just had to ask. Dumbledore smiled and nodded. "let's say our friends like to do this professional." I was surprised and began to doubt of my own pep talking.

"I've understood you've got a total reserving team?"

"uhm yes that's right" I answered searching for my nearly found confidence.

"ok, very good."

"uhm…I'm very sorry, but what exactly…"

"ahhh of course, yes, I'm sorry dear. I just think It's all the best way if the captains had met before, I know out off experience this is best to avoid conflicts." he smiled at me as if I was a little child and I got a bit mad. "Well, we won't make conflicts." I mumbled shrugging. Keiran grinned at me and gestured to the chair next of him. I sat down. "so hi, Keiran?" he nodded, "indeed…Joan." he smiled and I felt uncomfortable, he was to cute and looking to nice. "looking forward." he nodded, smiling. "ok" I whispered and looked at Dumbledore, but he was talking to Andraste. He moved a bit closer and I flashed my eyes, warning, but he appeared to ignore it. "I must say…" he said softly. "…not a lot of girl become team captain in the WC."

"What's that suppose to mean?"

"you must be pretty good then."

"girls are just as good as boys in Quidditch!"

"you think? Think closely you'll see, I'm right." he grabbed my knee and was very close to me. "Good at Quidditch and beautiful as well. What a combination, to bad you're not Scottish." he winked, scaring me a bit. And then back of and stood up. The to men said goodbye and stepped in the fire.

"he's a bit scary isn't he?" Dumbledore smiled. I nodded. "he's trying to intimidate you Joan, don't give in and kick some ass." he winked and then McGonagall brought me back to the common room. I felt she was worried, but couldn't say it. So I smiled and thanked her when we arrived and it seemed to please her.

"What's wrong?" Harry asked faster then the others could.

"nothing really, it was just the headmaster and captain of the Scotland's team to see me or something." I said, knowing it sounded as weird as I thought it was.

"What?"

"don't ask and get your things, we're leaving after dinner."

"ok then" they answered a bit hurt. We all got our things and went down to the great hall to eat a bit. Then Dumbledore raised his voice. "Dear students, today we're going to see or very own Quidditch team play it's second match in the world cup for juniors!!" the cheering that followed was overwhelming and I smiled at the twins, who both smiled back. "I noticed that moving the entire school doesn't only impress our contestants, but also takes a long time and it isn't handy at all. So I've given professor Hagrid the special assignment to get us all there efficient. Hagrid." he nodded and the half giant carefully stepped forwards, nodded and started explaining, nervous. "we'll be making use of some nice animals, who're very lovingly. They're a sort of special horses, but can apparate, funny story thought, but I've managed to get a few and train them, the team will take the last ride, the teachers will go first." he nodded and stepped back, I didn't believe lots of people understanding him, but it soon would be clear. And indeed half an hour later the entire school stood outside, surrounding fifteen beautiful white horses. They were over six and a half feet tall and had long, long manes. Hagrid easily jumped one the tallest, which clearly was a proud stallion. Professor Dumbledore, McGonagall, Trelawney, Flitwick, Sprout, Snape, Hooch and Sinistra al climbed up, using a crutch. But expect for Dumbledore and Hagrid, who sat comfortable, the teachers looked uncomfortable at the high horses. Sixteen seventh year students climbed on and one first year climbed on each horse, except on Hagrid's. "ok, ready? C'mon!" Hargid said, he stimulated his horse and the others followed, galloping and then they suddenly disappeared. Some students were shocked, probably they hadn't listened to Hagrid carefully, who got back pretty fast. After half an hour all students were transferred and all members of the team climbed on a horse, the movements of their galloping bodies were very strong and I was happy to realise we were there. Only for a minute thought because Keiran had spotted me and had spread his arms. "Joan!" he said. I smiled awkwardly and tried to shake hands but he putted my arm around me and pulled me with him, "this Joan, is my team." I looked at all tall guys, not one girl in fourteen players. "as you see Joan, we're a boys school." he whispered. And stroke my neck. I pulled away, not to subtle and answered. "Well we're a mixed school and this is my team." I said, nodding towards my team. And I saw Keiran appalled a bit, seeing the twins's and Draco's face. He nodded, "well see you later Joan" he smiled uncomfortable and took off.

"who was that?" George asked, still following him with his eyes.

"the captain of our contestants."

"doesn't seem like he sees it that way." Fred groaned.

"he's a bit strange isn't he?"

"strange? Pff come to close and I'll… how was it George?" Draco asked while putting his arm around me, protecting.

"I'll track him down" George said.

"rip his arms out." Fred meant.

"brake his legs." Draco said, while looking in his eyes.

"I'll cut off every toe he has." George now enthusiastically said.

"and I'll make him run a circle…how did you come up with that anyway?" Fred asked his brother who shrugged.

"I'll cut off his hair." Draco said, clearly with hatred.

"and I…" George started.

"nope, I'll finally brake his neck." Draco interrupted.

"ok, but before you do, I want to pink his fingernails." George grinned.

"oe yeah and I'll put him in a dress." Fred continued.

"yeah, so when you have broken his neck…."

"we can give him a grave caption saying: here lies Keira from Scotland…"

"the one body fallen in the mischief's of Weasley twins and a Malfoy boy."

"yeah something like that."

"uhm…yeah well…let's go" I said, touched by this protecting. And I saw the twins last interrupting had calmed Draco a bit to. We walked into the school building, where I introduced my team. Seeing Keiran look strange when the twins and Draco got up the stage. Then he introduced his team to the students, containing fourteen strong, tall and broad shouldered guys. "ok, students, the teacher will now guide you all to the pitch, please follow quietly." professor Andraste said. And slowly all students got out. Then we were guided to the dress rooms. "ok, same people on as always, but I want you guys to know, I don't like these people, we really need to kick ass…Ginny…be careful."

"what?"

"boy school."

"ow"

"if I have to I'll put on an entire boys team, mark my words."

"how?"

"we have no three male chasers. But the other players can if they have to."

"ok Joan, but it's time now." Ron interrupted. I nodded and we flew in the pitch. This time we weren't surprised by the sudden start and managed to get the first ball. We were a lot faster then the tall, big Scots. And we played 40-0 in ten minutes. Keiran yelled lots of thing to his team, then happened what I had feared. Other then me there was one girl: Ginny. The moment that followed I felt useless and in fact I was, I watched but couldn't do anything. One of the beaters aimed the bludger straight to Ginny, but the Quaffle wasn't in Ginny's hand's, no-one saw it coming. "GINNY!" I yelled, to late she dived but the bludger hit her arm. I saw her falling, the arbiter had already signed to hold the game and I dived to catch her. We softly landed and she moaned off pain. A nurse came out to take her inside. I called for one of my beaters, refusing to bring a girl in the pitch now. I knew the twins were furious, the others too, but they were the most dangerous. Ned took a penalty as did I and then Ned did a second. Knowing the beater wouldn't be as good as us. Three out off three scores. The audience cheered, but in the pitch anger raised. The game got rough. Fred and George were quicker and tougher then ever, but the other beater gave their selves as well. Their chasers smashed ours, but as our temper raised we got rougher then anyone thought for possible. After an half hour off smashes and with no goals, because off the constant fight. George had to dive away when two bludgers speeded up at him, one off them got to Fred, who smashed it to the Scot, in position of the Quaflle. But the other bludger went to the one player who didn't saw it: Harry. A choir of "Harry"'s sounded, but again, to late and the bludger smacked Harry's leg. The game was hold again, but Ned clearly was in panic. The twins breathed loudly and were tired, Ron looked scared and Kevin looked more unconfident any minute, they didn't look good, but as I glared to the Scots, I smiled and asked a time-out. "ok guys" I said, with confidence, which made Ned interrupt me already.

"Joan, we're playing with a beater instead of a chaser, we're all tired and on top of that we lost Harry!"

"Yes Ned, thank you. We're tired, but the Scots are exhausted, their trainings clearly aren't the same as ours. Malfoy is a good seeker and the Scot-seeker is to busy looking at the game anyway. From now on I want each and every one off you, and I really want you to do this: hear your name, shouted by the others, immediately dive, before you look up, ok?"

"good one" George blew.

"ok heads up, on your brooms." and so we all got back up. Seeing the Scots being exhausted, it gave courage, I guess. The game got to 70-30, we were leading when suddenly, finally Draco took a dive, followed by a rather fast Scot, but Draco was faster then ever, probably out of pure anger and hatred. He caught the snitch and the audience was out of bands the Scots began to shout and yell, but then again the players weren't happy as well. We all got in, on our way to the dress rooms, when a Scottish accent yelled my name: "Joan!" I looked up, to look straight into Keiran's eyes. I was appalled, I saw he wanted to threat, but an outraged team showed up, behind me. "What?" I asked. He spat. "I don't like to lose…then again…I underestimated you…being a girl." I was appalled from the sudden change. "congrats." he continued and rose his hand. "uh, thanks" I answered startled and took his hand. I should have known he wasn't so sensitive. He pulled me roughly towards him, against him and now came his threat. I looked in his eyes, in anger, not showing any other emotion. "you feel cool right, ow look I defeated the stupid Scot, well have a guess sis, it was luck, pure dumb luck, you'll never defeat me again, in anything."

"is that so? I think you're team is just a pack off stupid big, but slow losers, you being the biggest one." he groaned softly by threat, then he once again did something completely unexpected, but rather foolish too. He bowed and pressed his lips roughly against mine. His strong arms not letting me go, I couldn't escape. He fully kissed me before George pulled him off and Draco hit him in his face. George still holding him, he couldn't fall backwards, else he would have. Fred looked at me, 'you ok?" I nodded and he turned towards the Scot. "now you mate…"

"…are very lucky..."

Draco roared.

"I had the intention to rip you arms out." Keiran looked scared, believing, the strong arms that held him could manage to do it.

"I was going to break you legs." Fred continued and grabbed his trout, holding it up.

"I was going to cut off every toe you have." Draco spat, being only inches from Keirans face. He looked scared, feeling the twins' strength and Draco's hatred.

"I was going to make you run a circle after that." George said, he said it as a real threat, but Keiran sure got the feeling of humiliation. "I was going to cut off your hair"

"stab your eyes out and so on, we made a whole list…we like to be prepared." Fred smiled mean. "but" he continued " we aren't so violent and although Joan is like our sister, we think ,after your little intervention, her bóyfriend has the right." Keiran looked afraid, noticing the blonde, real furious boy ahead him, should be him. "b..I..s.;I" he stumbled. But Draco smacked his face he hit him three our four times, Keiran fell down and Draco now kicked him. "you should know mate, I'm fucking jealous! You stay off my girl mate I" kick "mean it" he said in pieces. "you just pissed me off!"

"Draco?…Draco…Draco!" he looked up "I think he gets it. He roared and the four off us went to the shower, not giving Keiran another look. He most have stumbled in his dress room, cause no-one spoke off it. His face was blue, but no-one asked. We got back on the horses and then straight to the train. Dumbledore give me a paper off the next matches. We got on the train and I shared a compartment with the twins, Lee and Draco. It was clear I got along with the twins better, but they also excepted Draco better. I did realize they only excepted him because I loved him, but I knew they weren't that happy, so to spare them we just talked a bit. At the station I hugged al my friends and then waved to them as I followed Draco. As soon as we found his parents Narcissa jumped up, hugged her son and then me. Malfoy shook my hand and gave me a kiss on my cheek, and putted his arm around his son and then we left the station, me being totally nervous.


	18. Chapter 18

The very beginning

**Mansion Malfoy**

When arriving Draco took me upstairs and we unpacked, he helped me because I had a lot more stuff, since I was away from home longer. When I was unpacked I noticed Draco being quiet. I looked up and stared right into his eyes. "Joan, I've missed you" I smiled, I had missed him, but had been busy all the time, we hadn't really spent a lot of time together. I looked deeply in his eyes, I sat on the bed, spread my legs a bit for the suitcase, on the other side of the suitcase, looking back into my eyes. He came forward over the empty suitcase and kissed me. I stroke through his hair while pulling him closer. His hands placed on the bed as he lent forward over the suitcase. The passion and love was incredible. He slowly came closer and putted his knee between my legs. He came closer and my hands went down to his back. I slowly fell backwards, he came out of the uncomfortable position of hanging over the suitcase as his second knee came on the bed. I enjoyed his kiss as I lay on the bed, not minding at all the fact he was now on top of me. No word was necessary to know exactly how we felt. His hand stroke from my waist up to my ribs and his mouth was just lowering to my chin as he appalled and jumped to the other room. I was surprised and just when I got up Narcissa knocked on the door. "Yeah?" Draco said, I was surprised off the coolness in his voice. Narcissa came in. "are you guys ready? Dinner's ready." she winked.

"ok" we answered. And followed her downstairs. The food was almost as good and as much as at Hogwarts. "So" Lucius said and I felt nerves boiling up. "you won the second match." Draco and I nodded.

"that's a nice performance you guys"

"we're very lucky, we've got a whole lot of good players." I said.

"yeah and a hell of a trainer!" Draco smiled.

"Darcoo.."I said flattered.

"funny you start off that son, I was wondering Joan, how come you're so good?"

"well…this question has been asked me before, but I don't know, I think it's the players…"

"o please stop saying that, you have a rare ability, but then again, it isn't your only one is it." I looked up at Lucius, surprised. "Yes I speak to your potions professor quite a lot Joan and since you're my son's girlfriend…"

"yeah ok, but I don't have an idea what that is."

"hmmmhmm" he just said and then the turned off of topic. That evening Draco and I were watching TV when his parents announced they'd be out for a couple of hours. We stayed in the couch, I laid in his arms, head on his chest. I wasn't looking at TV I couldn't focus on anything else, I just loved this guy so much. I almost had trouble believing I once tried to fight this. "let's go upstairs" he suggested and I agreed, so we went to his room, falling on the bed, kissing and searching as if we were two puzzle pieces that would match. I loved his lips and mouth that were now at my chin again. He softly began to undo my top. Now lowering to my throat, I softly moaned, enjoying his touch. Just knowing this guy was my man as moved above me. The next morning I woke up with my head on his chest. I smiled at him ad he seemed, somehow relieved. We went down for breakfast and after that we played some Quidditch, under Lucius' watching eye. A couple of hours later we got down. Lucius had left to the ministry and Narcissa was out, I didn't know and didn't ask where. "let's shower." Draco said and I nodded. It would have been an awkward situation, but we understood perfectly and Draco suggested the perfect idea. The Malfoy's had a big house and also a big bathroom. I undressed and Draco, looking at me, turned on the bath. I stepped in the shower and took a quick wash, to get ride of the mud. I came back out and stepped in the half-full bath, looking at Draco, undressing. I had never expected him to look so good when I saw him the first time, but when I had felt his arms I had my prospects. He also quickly rubbed of the mud and then joined me in the now full, big bath. I sat next to him, head on his shoulder and with arms around me. My arms were also around him and I loved to feel his naked body. There was no need to ask more, this was just fine for me and him, us. After being in the bath for who knows how long we got out and dressed. Then we went upstairs, to his room and I took the paper Dumbledore had given me. I was in Draco's nap and he putted his chin on my shoulder to read with me.

Hongaskan (Hungary)-Hogwarts June 10-270

Graicon(Greece)-Beaubatons(France) June 40-160

Kammfels(Bulgaria)- Glioscan(Scotland) June 390-280

Parkers(America)-Jogertsa (Spain) June 250-240

Hochein(Germany)- trouchbaniah (Morocco) June 30-180

Beabatons - Hongaskan July 110-80

Kammfels - Jogertsa July 450-20

Trouchbaniah -Parkers July 50-240

Graicon- Hochein July 100-160

Glioscan-Hogwarts July 30-230

This means that the next teams are off to the second round: Kammfels, Beaubatons, Parkers and Hogwarts. The next teams are definatly out: Hongaskan, Graicon, Glioscan, and Jogerta. The next teams will play in August against teach other: trouchbaniah and Hocein.

It seems to me that some good teams are out, because they had two strong contestants, it's not fair, but no bad to us, right Joan? The next plays are in September

Kammfels- trouchbaniah orHocein.

Hogwarts-Beaubatons-

Games in October:

Parker-Kammfels

trouchbaniah or Hocein. -Hogwarts

November:

trouchbaniah or Hocein.- Beaubatons

Parker-Hogwarts

December:

Beaubatons-Kammfels

trouchbaniah or Hocein. -Parker

January:

Parker-Beaubatons

Hogwarts-Kammfels

There'l be a final as well, but that's all not sure enough yet, so here is the schedule for the next half year, use it well.

Greetings,

Albus Dumbledore

"wow"

"yeah"

"we're through the first round."

"uhu"

"we'll play against Kammfels"

"yep and Glioscan is out" Draco grinned "yeah"

"kids! dinner's ready!!" Narcissa yelled from downstairs so we went down and ate, the next day were fun, sleep long, play some Quidditch, and hang around. We still shared a bed, but the first night was the consequence of a long missing and pure lust, we both knew it shouldn't be happening again to soon. So each evening I laid my head on his chest. But when I had to go home again two weeks later I felt sadness returning to Draco even before I packed. I gave him long hug, I guess we stood there for an hour, then he helped me packing, held me, kissed and hugged me. "I'll see you soon" I smiled when I gave him a last kiss and stepped in the fire after saying goodbye to his parents as well.


	19. Chapter 19

The very beginning

**Back to the Burrow**

I could go home for a week and then I'd spent two weeks at the burrow. My week at home would have been rather boring. Since we only moved that year I didn't had any friends in the street and I didn't bother trying. Instead I wrote thousands of letters and received even more from Draco and my best friends. But as I had assured Fred, the twins came over for two days to. My father had a lot of laughs and loved the guys. After woods he told me he liked my friends. We just joked around two days, I slept on the couch and they got my room. To bad I lived in a muggle neighbourhood, we couldn't play Quidditch. I hugged both guys before they left. Staying over at my place, just the three of us had given a very good feeling. So the next days were a tiny little bit depressing. During the second week I was in the kitchen as my father came in. "Say Joan."

"hmm?"

"little question…" he smiled mysterious. "most of your friends got pets right?" I looked up, surprised. I remembered how we had to leave our owl at my aunt, it had broken my heart, but strange enough I quite often hadn't realized what it was that I missed. "Well most have an owl…yeah."

"would you like to have a pet again?"

"I'm getting an owl?!" I asked surprised, but excited.

"no"

"…"

"I'm doubting to give you a dog, but as you know it isn't that much of a magical creature, so it normally isn't allowed into school, so I was figuring, maybe a cat?"

"..cool! But…I'd love a dog."

"he can't get into Hogwarts."

"pity" he must have seen my letdown, because he continued: "I'll talk to Dumbledore." then he winked and aparated. I was a bit astonished. I didn't know where he'd gone, but decided to start packing, it was only two days until I left to the burrow. An hour later I went down, sat down at the table and took an apple. I jumped up from the chair and dropped my apple as my father appeared again. I stocked in the apple and my father came towards me. "ow sorry Joan, I didn't mean to startle you!"

"it's…kch...ok…kch" after a few minutes, when I was sure the piece of apple was all gone and I'd thrown away the rest, I asked him. "say dad…where have you been?" I asked careful. "your headmaster" he winked and then grabbed my hand to pull me outside, to the street. "Dad?"

"I spoke to him and he thought it was fine for you to bring the dog as long as he doesn't stay in the castle the whole day, or hunts down other students' pets. So I figured we can go to the pets shop and buy you a pup."

"DAD!" I embraced him tightly and thanked him over and over again, until we got in the shop. I was overwhelmed by cute puppy eyes and couldn't pick. The first puppy I liked looked like this.

He was cute and I wanted him, but the other were also cute, so I decided to look at them to. These were the cutest.

I couldn't pick my final decision was going between the Swiss shepherd and the golden retriever. My father then decide for me, the Swiss Sheppard. When I got out with the puppy I decided to let my friends help me to pick a name and my father thought I was a wonderful idea. So the next days I ran after the little puppy and wrote Draco and the others about him. They all were very enthusiastic and when I arrived at the burrow, the little pup got overwhelmed by attention. My father thanked Molly and Arthur and then left. I told myself to, from now on write him at least three times a week. "now guys, you'll have to help me to name him!" I said.

"just call him Bongo!" Ron said.

"o my god, that isn't even funny" George said and continued. "Django?"

"Dreamboy?" Ginny said.

"well I asked Harry to and he thought off Mango."

"Mango? Djees no!" I laughed and Fred continued. "Ploke"

"oe, I like that one. And I asked Hermione and Draco too. Rams, Donking, Mayjin, Lonko, Mesco, …"

"Mayjin is nice."

"yeah, fits him."

"everyone agrees"

"yip"

"Ok"

"yeah"

"…"

"ok then Mayjin it is"

"who picked the name?"

"you guys did!"

"Draco?" I nodded

"ok, good"

After dinner we al went upstairs and talked and played with Mayjin. A couple of days later Harry arrived to. So we got splinted up a bit. Me and the twins and Harry, Ron and Ginny. After dinner we all went upstairs, we were one group to go upstairs, but splinted when upstairs. I took Mayjin with me to the twins room, they played with him and I laid down on the bed. After a few minutes George broke the silence. "Say Joan, you haven't answered a question of ours for like a month now…when are you going to?" I looked up at him a bit surprised and he smiled. Fred then went on: " first impressions?"

"ow that…uh" I knew Molly wouldn't call for dinner now, but it was such an awkward situation. "well…uhm Harry was clear I mean, I heard off him and was very curious."

"yes of course, but what did you think when you saw him?"

"uhm...well? The papers in America are quite complete you know" I smiled.

"ok, what about Ron?"

"I don't know…he looked" I stopped, a bit embarrassed.

"yes?…"

"dumb?" the twins busted out in laughter and didn't come by for half an hour.


	20. Chapter 20

The very beginning

**What a meeting**

A few days past after the twins got me to say that they looked like fun from the first moment and Draco had looked handsome, but arrogant. Hermione had now also joined the burrow. And Molly had, probably caused by the others pushing, with an expression that said I-don't-really-mean-it asked me to invite Draco for the last days, so we had some practise before the year started.  
Draco had been enthusiastic, but insecure as well. Lucius hadn't been happy at all he told me. I was a bit afraid of the meeting and apparently everyone else was to. At the day he'd arrive I suggested to wait at the yard gate , but Molly apparently didn't liked the Malfoy's at all and told me they should come to the front door. I was all nervous and didn't speak for the rest of the day. The others were tensioned as well, the only one who played on happy, like nothing happened was Mayjin. When at six o'clock there was a knocking at the door everyone jumped up. Arthur opened the door and saluted Lucius coldly, who did the same, looking through the house, quickly, full disgust. Fred and George took Draco's stuff and brought it upstairs. Lucius smiled at me "hi darling" he said way to sweet and gave me a kiss on the cheek. "hi" I responded, a bit overwhelmed. "ow, I'd better be going, still got to work, bye darling, bye Draco."

"bye"

"bye"

When the door was shot, it kept quiet for a couple of second and then I wrapped my arms round Draco's neck, who putted his round my waist and kissed me. Suddenly there was more noise in the room. I laughed when backing up and pulled further in the house. I knew Draco felt uncomfortable at the burrow and the Weasley's were to so after dinner I suggested to go outside. Draco adored Mayjin and after walking him we played Quidditch with Fred and George. After amusing ourselves for a long while and Ron, Ginny, Harry and a forced Hermione joined us. And when Molly shouted at half past eleven everyone got inside, drank a cup of hot milk and then went to bed. Harry and Ron shared a room, I had shared one with Ginny, but now Hermione had taken my place. Ginny's room was to small for three persons and Draco and I each got a room, I got Charlies and Draco got Percy's. The next morning I walked Mayjin and when I got back I got breakfast wit Draco, the twins and Ron. The others already had theirs because the table was to small to all eat together. Draco began to feel more uncomfortable, knowing Molly didn't like him and suggested to help her cleaning the table. Under which I heard he told her, his parent wouldn't be capable of running the house with ten persons, a cat, a dog and three owls inside. Molly smiled and had gotten loser after that. And after a week, of mainly Quidditch games it was time to go back to school. We all packed and Arthur got some cars of the ministry. At the station we said goodbye and got at the train. I had expect surprise, but even before I stepped on the train loads of people petted Mayjin, telling me he was adorable. It was awkward, every Gryffindor, Ravenclow and Hufflepuf came to tell me he was o so cute. We were three weeks later and the pup now was six weeks old.

(is what he looked like)

The train was rather quiet, in spite of the fact we were in there with the eight of us. When we arrived at school even the teachers couldn't hide a smile for young Mayjin. After the sorting ceremony and dinner I went to my dorm to unpack, as did the others. I when I got down I took a walk with Mayjin and then went to sleep. The next morning I first went to professor Dumbledore's office. Dad had told me he'd want to see me. "A Joan, come on in, is this…"

"Mayjin" I smiled.

"Mayjin" repeated, as if this name meant something for him and he kneeled down at the little pup. "he's adorable." I smiled in response.

"ok" he went on more serious, "since he's only a pup you're allowed to keep him with you all day and take a little walk every hour, but you only get five minutes longer!"

I nodded and he continued. "when he's a bit older, he needs to stay out during classes. He can play with Fang if he wants to.."

"ok he'll be fine…but not to soon I hope? Cause right now Fang can eat him!"

"haha He won't, but no we'll wait a while." I nodded grateful and went to the Great hall to eat, followed by the headmaster. During breakfast McGonagall gave us the schedules, everyone was curious about theirs, but about mine to…I looked at mine when McGonagall gave me mine as last.

Monday

Thursday

Wednesday

Tuesday

Friday

8.25

D.A.D.A.

Transfusion

Ancientrun

herbology

Potions

9.15

History..

charms

Ancientrun

charms

herbology

10.15

Potions

/

transfusion

Care MC

Charms

10.55

transfusion

Hyst.of M

Care of MC

Care MC

transfusion

13.15

Care MC

herbology

/

D.A.D.A.

14.05

charms

herbology

Potions

Potions

15.45

Divination

D.A.D.A.

16.35

divination

D.A.D.A.

Thuesday evening 23.00 to 01.00 astronomy Good luck this year.

I read though it, it was a lame schedule, but it got ripped out off my hands and soon seven people hung over the schedules.

Harry and Ron (Hermione is Divination replaced by muggle studies and +ancient runes)

/H/ Hermione has Muggle studies, /../ Hermione has Arithmancy

Monday

Thursday

Wednesday

Tuesday

Friday

8.25

D.A.D.A.

Divination

herbology

/../

Potions

9.15

transfusion

Divination

herbology

herbology

/../

10.15

Potions

herbology

/H/

Care of MC

transfusio

10.55

historyofM

charms

Care of MC

Care of MC

charms

13.15

Care of MC

transfusion

hystory

D.A.D.A.

14.05

/H/

transfusion

Potions

Potions

15.45

charms

D.A.D.A.

transfsion

16.35

charms

D.A.D.A.

Fred, George and Lee:

Monday

Thursday

Wednesday

Tuesday

Friday

8.25

Care of MC

transfusion

Ancientrun

herbology

D.A.D.A.

9.15

History

charms

Ancientrun

charms

herbology

10.15

D.A.D.A.

/

transfusion

Potions

charmes

10.55

transfusion

History

D.A.D.A.

Potions

transfusion

13.15

potions

herbology

/

Care of MC

14.05

charms

herbology

D.A.D.A.

Care of Mc

15.45

divination

Care of MC

16.35

divination

potions

"you've got Care of Magical creatures with us this year!" Harry said enthusiastic.

"Waw, is it like infective?" Fred said a bit irritated.

"you seem Ron." George helped. Harry was going to say something, but I was quicker, "cut it guys! " and then we left off to meet our new teacher for Defence against the dark arts. Next was history of magic, it was a boring class and the twins Lee and I amused ourselves with Mayjin. During the small break I caught up with Hermione, Ron and Harry. It was pretty clear what they were talking about.

"yeah...I hope we're not working in pairs this year.." Hermione mumbled.

"you know" Hermione said when walking to the dungeons. "you're having the three classes, the Slytherins always have whit us.."

"we'll see" I interrupted, it was better they all knew, but clearly they didn't excepted it a hundred percent. We got in before the Slytherins and I joined my friends at a desk. I felt Snape watching me, but refused to look. After class, in which I almost cursed Ron because of his pure stupidity and Mayjin for running off every time(not to far though), I gave Draco a smile. We decided that, although everyone knew it already, we shouldn't be showing it off to much in public either. I said goodbye to Harry, Hermione and Ron and went out whit Mayjin and to my own amazement I got in to transfusion in time. McGonagall started off easily...she said. When we got down to the great hall I heard lots of classmates complaining and they sounded desperate as well. During lunch I felt eyes watching me after half an hour I found the owner of them. "hi Ned"

"hi Joan…I was wondering.."

"I don't know yet."

"oh…ok" Ron looked at me in amazement, "How the…"

"it was predictable."

"Damn Joan, Trelawney would like you" Harry said. I shrugged, "we'll see tonight." after dinner we went to Care of Magical creatures and it all went fluently. The rest of the week was as well. Things were ok. When Fred, George, Lee, Mayjin and I wanted to go down to the great hall after transfusion McGonagall told me to stay and then send the boys away. "Now Joan you probably know what this is about?"

"…"

"I'd love you to be Gryffindors team captain again this year."

"oh...yeah, I'd love to be it again to." I smiled

"that's all I needed to here, you can make your program if you want to."

"I will, thanks professor."

"that's all good, you're pup here is growing pretty fast isn't he?" I nodded. McGonagall smiled and let me leave to the Great hall. I only had to nod to Ned or the entire team and the previous year jumped up to have a big group hug. The rest of the day was rather strange, three hours of class with Draco and we tried to stay with our friends, but couldn't stop looking at each other. When potions class was over I took my stuff quite slow together. I saw Draco doing the same thing. Hermione, Harry and Ron left off to transfusion. So Draco and I were the only ones in the room, then we quickly got out so Snape couldn't stop us either. We went to the lake and I let Mayjin run free. I had my arm around him and he had his around me. We walked all round then he took my head in his hands and stared into my eyes for a long time and then kissed me. Softly and tender I was persuade that this was true love. He softly pulled away holding his lips against mine for a few more seconds, forehead rested up mine, eyes closed he pulled his head away softly, till he was above me. When he was he pulled me closer to him, I laid my head on his chest and he laid his chin at the top of my head. After standing there for several minutes we went back to the castle. "we can't wait a whole week to see each other again!" I smiled "no, you're right." I stood on my tiptoes, gave a little kiss and then went to the common room. I gave auditions for the team Saturday, but no-one signed up, because everyone thought the team was at it's best. So it changed in to practise. After practise I cleared up the balls and Draco came to me. So I arrived into the common room an hour later then the others. Three weeks later everything was still the same, I saw Draco nearly everyday now, classes were becoming hard though. Saturday and Wednesday were nice trainings and according to the schedule we'd play the opening match against Ravenclow. And Mayjin was becoming bigger and bigger, he was two and a half months old now.

Snape told us he'd make pairs again the week after. We'd be in the same as last year, normally. And indeed Draco and I were a pair. Mayjin meanwhile learned to lay down and wait till class was over. It all was great fun and for a month there I really thought life couldn't be better and I just was perfectly happy. Then the day of the Quidditch match came, it almost was to painful for the Ravenclows to watch and Lee wasn't quite helping. It turned out to be 470-0 it was quite smashing and Lee yelling: "Maybe this year we manage to come out without any goals against us!" gave a lot of fame, especially to Ned. The party in the Gryffindor common room was once again overwhelming and great fun, and again, the next morning only the first years showed up for breakfast and most people even missed lunch. The twins, Lee and I missed it to. Hermione apparently had attempted to wake me, but I seemed to have said something she didn't like. And Fred according to what I heard was pretty rude to. So she got Harry and Ron out of bed, she was mad, which was rather clear, but I could imagine she was hurt to. So I apologized and forced Fred to do the same. Round three o' clock, Hermione and a forced Harry and Ron were studying, while the twins, Lee and I left to the kitchen. I was overwhelmed by the sight of it, but only a couple of weeks later this all wouldn't be in my first thoughts to much. A couple of weeks later, a whole lot would start to change. Unaware of the next weeks I amused Sunday. It was the first week of December so it was cold and wet to go outside with Mayjin, luckily Fred accompanied me. Soon the examinations would start and everyone was getting quite stressed. Mayjin meanwhile was 5months old:

/files/talviyon./keiju5kkpose.jpg

The next day I followed Hermione, Harry and Ron to potions, whit a strange feeling inside. I noticed Snape constantly watching me and I knew he wanted to see me, but I rushed out before anyone else and succeeded the entire week in avoided him. I still had my special meetings with Draco. It all was getting, tough, because in spite of the WC the normal school competition Quidditch continued to. It had been a whole salvation to hear that the games from September to December had been transferred and all games were delayed. So I could focus on my examinations. Snape, McGonagall and some other teachers made us clear it was very important to study. I started studying indeed, because of Hermione though, else I never would have started. And when the week before the examinations, in all the stress I forgot to rush Snape called me. "miss Dhanes, just a minute there." I cursed myself and watched everyone leaving class. "you're avoiding me Joan" he spoke as everyone had gotten out.

"no I'm.."

"Don't even bother Joan, I'm not a fool!" he threatened. "I'm worried about you" I to late realized to hide the amazement on my face. Snape clearly noticed it to. "I'm serious and I have my reasons!" he sounded as well hurt as mad. Especially the second emotion got to Mayjin, who started to groan and putted up his white hairs. Snape gave the young dog and then looked back to me, "is your brave and loving pet going to protect you to all what's coming to you Joan?"

"what do you mean?"

"I mean, you're getting in to trouble!" I stood there, flabbergasted. I couldn't say a word.

"I'm telling you Joan trouble are coming your way!"

"but how? Why?…"

"I don't know yet I'll let you know. just promise you'll do as I say"

"sure"

"I mean it!"

"yeah ok!"

"ok then of you go"

"thank you" and I went to the common room, because I had a free hour now, but halfway I reconsidered my choice and went out side with Mayjin and afterwards started to study again. After Charms and transfusion we had a free day to start studying for Monday. The examinations went surprisingly well, but I still was happy to realize they were over. To their own amazement my friends as well as I we all worked out our examinations pretty well. At the end of the week the holidays would start and so I spent lots of time with Draco. We walked round the lake, holding each other, it all was so great I forgot to worry about Snape. "Draco?"

"hmm"

"I love you" I looked up, from his chest and saw him smiling to himself before he looked back at me. "I love you to." and he gave a kiss on my head. I let my hand rise to his shoulders as I raised myself up to kiss him, life felt great. I spent the entire last days with him, again hugging, kissing, loving.


	21. Chapter 21

Home and back again

**Home and back again**

"I'm gonna die" Draco said at the morning of departure. "you're not, cause then you'd have to miss me even longer" I smiled before kissing him tenderly. We got in the train and searched for the compartment, containing my friends. When we found them, we couldn't really get in. Fred, George and Lee sat at one side, Hermione Ron and Harry at the other and Ginny stood in the middle. "wow lots of people here!" Draco said amazed. Ginny clearly startled and turned around, I saw her shocked face, but when the shock was over I saw her face was wet and sad. "Ginny?! What's the matter I asked, throwing my arm around her and looking at the others.

"Her boyfriend broke up with her." Ron said coldly which caused Ginny to cry again. I wanted to shout at Ron, but instead I held Ginny. Ron was busy anyway. Harry kicked him, Hermione yelled "Ronald!" and the twins busted out in to laughter. "8: emotional range of a teaspoon!"

"are you alright?" I asked Ginny, she nodded and gestured she wanted to get out of the compartment. "Where are you going?…GINNY?"

"I'll go" Harry said and he jumped up to run after her. Draco sat on his spot and I settled in his seat. "ow before I forget Dumbledore gave me this."

January

Kammfels- trouchbaniah

Hogwarts-Beaubatons

Parker-Kammfels

trouchbaniah -Hogwarts

February

trouchbaniah - Beaubatons

Parker-Hogwarts

Beaubatons-Kammfels

March

trouchbaniah . -Parker

Parker-Beaubatons

Hogwarts-Kammfels

As you know the games were delayed, therefore we now play shorter for a few months…we'll get there

Greetings,

Albus Dumbledore

"Wow that's a lot of games at short notice!"

"indeed, but that's not bad, we'll do fine, no here you three and Ginny can share a form ok? I'll find Ned and Harry. Ow Here you go Draco."

"thanks, I'll find seconds team play good?"

"wonderful" I kissed him and went to look. I found Ned pretty quickly and he as, as I expected enthusiastic, I had to escape from the compartment he and his creepy fan friends shared. Then after searching half an hour I startled when finding Harry. I found him, but not quite as I expected. He was in an empty, shut compartment, on top of Ginny, who he was kissing most passionate. I was shocked of the view and closed the door again. Then I knocked, which caused a lot of noise at the other side. Then Harry opened the door and probably could read my face well enough to notice this wasn't my first attempt to get to them. I gave him the paper and went back to the others, realizing Harry was calling my name. Draco arrived back just seconds after me. "What took you so long?" Ron asked

"Had some trouble finding Harry" I answered while nestling myself in Draco's nap again. Harry opened the door he and Ginny looked inside. "What?" Ron asked because of harry's face, who now knew I hadn't told them. "uhm...uh…Well...uhm…there's something we need to tell you guys…"Harry tried and Ginny, who notice he couldn't, took over: "we're together" she smiled. A few seconds of silence and then Hermione jumped up "o guys congrats!" she smiled. I winked and Draco who shook Harry's hand. Lee and the twins now had there turn, but Ron looked as if he had cramps. "Well the difference in reactions with us..."Draco said laughing

"yea, except for Ron."

"to bad the compartments are to small even with Joan in Draco's nap and Ginny in mine it's to small." Harry said.

"to bad, we'll find another compartment" Ginny smiled and took his hand, but Ron all of the sudden reacted fast. "No way, you're staying here! Hermione can sit in my nap! I don't care, you're staying here!" everyone now looked at Ron and after a long silence Ginny said, 'I can decide for myself thanks, but it isn't far anymore so.." that way we ended up wit the nine of us in a compartment for maximum six persons. At the station we all said goodbye and I went to my dad who was happy to see me and surprised at the six months old Mayjin. The two weeks with the three of us were just lovely. While Ginny, Harry, Ron and the twins all were together and at the end of holidays Hermione would go there to, but I didn't mind a bit. I on the other hand didn't feel bad going back either, so after waving him goodbye, I got on the train. This time I shared a compartment with the twins, Lee and Draco and then Harry, Ginny, Hermione and Ron shared another. "poor Ron, he can't stand Harry and Ginny touching each other" George laughed. When we arrived at school I took a walk with Mayjin, accompanied by Draco, of course. And when I went to bed that night I had a weird feeling. A half year earlier I had been depressed, but now my luck was unstoppable. I though had the feeling it'd stop soon…the next day after school we had practise and it all went surprisingly well.


	22. Chapter 22

Home and back again

**An other match**

We trained hard and while we practised other people were cleaning the pitch and tribune. And then finally the fourteenth January, the girls of Beauxbatons arrived. In spite of their beauty they appeared to be very nice girls. After dinner one of them introduced the team and they appeared to be surprised that I, as a girl, was captain. We both saw the first and only other female captain. They slept in the great hall and the next morning during breakfast we laughed. The game would be totally different then the one against Gliocas we thought, this will be just nice. It wasn't like against Gliocas, but the girls had the element of surprise. They were amazingly fast, they must be training on speed I realized after the sixth attempt to goal and still being 0-0 thanks to Ron. But we trained on it too so, Ginny got the Quaffle, she got it by luck, but still we decided to use it and not let it be thrown away, I flew to the other side of the pitch. I heard a bludger going to Ginny, she passed to Ned he was faster then I'd ever seen him before. He passed and I scored without to much difficulty, since their keeper actually sucked, because my shot wasn't good at all. Realizing the lack of capacities of the keeper we got our spirits and hopes back. Lee was screaming for the entire pitch, "WHAT A GAOL! MUST HAVE HURT FOR THE PRETTY GIRLS! BUT THERE THEY ARE AGAIN…THE'RE FAST, PEOPLE! BUT WOOOHOW OUR OWN PRETTY GIRL JOAN IS JUST AS FAST SHE'S GOT THE QUAFFLE? NED? GOAL!!AGAIN? TWO TIMES TO THE GOAL TWO TIMES IN!!DHANES IS OUR LITTLE HERO, PEOPLE!!" and I was amazed the effect of his yelling. Suddenly entire Hogwarts was singing out load, Gryffindor as well as Ravenclow, Hufflepuf, but even Slytherin was singing.

"Dhanes is our little hero

She made others look zero

She led us all to victory

These are an other story!

Glioscas as a second match

There weren't many balls to catch!

O hell did they train

It almost cost their brain

Say Dhanes can stay much longer

We'll never let her go, no not for a million dollar!

She made our team look much better and fitter

She sure isn't just a babysitter!

Like this we'll win!

Let come the rest

She hammers them in al by herself

Yes she's in our top-shelf!"

I was amazed, but didn't remain it to long since Harry and the Beauxbatons girl took a dive. The girl was fast, but comparing to Harry.. Harry dived lower then the girl dared, she just was no match for him. I felt sorry to blast off the girls, that had been so nice, like this. But they didn't mind they were disappointed, but assured me they didn't feel bad losing from us. "Hogwats is right Joan, you're a little hero, you're team is very good." their captain told me. We waved when they left and then went on practising, studying and of course Draco and I kissing, well Ginny and Harry to probably. Ron still didn't like it, I never thought of why it was I thought he was just being older brother. But Draco appeared to be thinking he was jealous. I didn't break my head upon it since two days later Snape told me to stay behind in class. "Lucius is involved" he whispered and then pushed me out the classroom to let his other students enter. Not knowing what the hell he meant I walked on to my next class. At the door Mayjin was already waiting, he was getting a bit older and never liked the potions nor the dungeons so this class he always skipped, soon the others would follow. "he's becoming a nice and loyal dog" I thought, but then my thought wondered back to Snape's words. I didn't get to much time to think though, because that very evening we had to leave to Morocco. It was the first match that actually was thrilling. The previous matches had been exciting, but we'd always won easily. These guys were dawn good and we weren't used of their weather of course. Luckily Harry is a hell of a seeker, we won… 170-180 it was close and our contestants weren't really happy, that was pretty clear. But all in all we were happy to be back at Hogwarts the next week. It was the beginning of February and this month we'd play to my old school, it made me happy, but nervous and almost scared. If there was one school I really needed to win from it was Parker! So the two weeks that rested us, we trained, trained and trained, at the end I stopped, in order not to break the team. Friday, in the weekend they'd come Snape spoke to me again. "Remember what I told you?"

"yes, but I don't get"

"you didn't think off it to much did you?"

"no, but that's because of the Quidditch and all"

"there are more important things then Quidditch in life Joan!" I startled of his sudden anger and didn't answer. "I'm on this since last year, when I didn't spoke to you about it, you seemed more interested Joan! While now it is becoming important!"

"professor I…"

"Shut up!" I looked up, he must really be angry, his dark eyes were indeed drowned in madness and he continued. "You should show respect for the people who are trying to help you Joan! Lucius is involved and so are you!"

"what do you mean? how come me? How can I possibly…"

"BECAUSE you come from America, new in the country, so is your dad, he's a grown up, good wizard, hell your dad is a hack of a wizard Joan, the problem is that our Dark Lord knows it to, thinking you guys only heard off him he wants to trick you guys in."

"What? But"

"Lucius has always been a death eater Joan, don't you see it coming?!"

"But, NO! you're wrong!"

"well if I am then it isn't your dad he needs, but Harry or the both, he's going to use you as a gateway Joan!"

".."

"don't you see it yet? Lucius' very own son is your boyfriend! Yours! A Gryffindor, we all have been fools, we've been naïve, do you think he can truly love you? You think…"

"noNono stop! Stop it! Draco loves me!"

"yes and his ow so true love even forces him to hang out with Gryffindors and stand in the way of is father?"

"STOP! You're wrong!"

"I'm not Joan, one way or another.. You'll become the gateway" I looked up, tears falling down my face, I was shaking. "no" I whispered. i got up, looked into his mad eyes and asked "are we done professor? Mayjin is waiting" his face got a bit of a shocked reaction, "at least think of it, Joan, I'm not your enemy, you can go" I nodded and stormed straight to the common room. I cried, I didn't believe him. I stopped crying and started to think Snape tried to do best for me, but he could be wrong. Draco's love was true, he'd fight against his father. It was true love. I thought of it when I told him we couldn't be together, he'd look terrible, he loved me! I decided and in the evening I met him, I knew he sensed something was wrong, but he better didn't ask, so he didn't. the next morning the Parker students arrived. "JOAN!" a screaming came from one of the girls that spotted me first. I smiled and waved. Draco, the twins, Lee, Ron, Hermione, Harry and Ginny were standing with me and I felt happy like this. All of the sudden I got overwhelmed by my American friends. "help" I peeped. I introduced the girls to my new friends. They all were excited but I startled hearing, "Joan?" I turned around and looked into deep brown eyes. "eu ow hi Stan." he was standing way to close to me, I'd always had a crush for him, but he had always had a girlfriend. And in the end when he began to love me, we couldn't together since I was moving to England. He stroke my cheek and came closer but I stepped backwards. He was shocked a bit and I quickly said; "these are my friends and boyfriend. Stan turned red, nodded and ran off. Lots of the teachers and other students came to say hi. My old friends, new friend and me gathered at the table of Gryffindor, it felt like heaven. My old schoolmates appeared to be surprised, seeing me as the captain of the Quidditch team. They were even more surprised, realizing we actually were damn good. Ron was a hell of keeper, that's what my old friends told me afterwards as well. But his brothers sure were good Beaterrs as well. Ginny got injured during the first minutes, by the bludger of Stan. Next Harry got sent of the pitch by Madame Hooch because he attacked Stan. I was a bit shocked, but called in my second team players. Ned was furious, but kept control of his own body and remained in the game. After two hours we were at 30-70 for us. Harry was yelling from the tribune, I looked at him, he still had his outfit on. And the firebolt in his hand. Ginny clearly had to hold him from jumping on his broom and going for the snitch. The snitch! I realised that was what Harry was yelling. Both Draco and the other seeker were looking the wrong direction. "Draco!" I yelled. He looked and I pointed, I saw him turning and heading for the snitch then I heard George "Joan!" I looked at him he came to me with an amazingly high speed, I startled, but knew I was to late to dive away, I did, just a bit and George slammed the bludger, holding the bludgeon above my head. He lowered it and grabbed my shoulder, "are you ok?" I nodded an looked up. Stan had aimed for me, the entire pitch had been mad, but Madame Hooch hadn't seen it, because the seekers had began a race. I looked back at George and just opened to thank him as the entire tribune began to scream. Draco had the snitch. I smiled to him, to George and then give a daring face to Stan, who turned red.

"I can see why you moved over here, Joan, the Quidditch definitely is the best we played, and you were on with two second team players!" I smiled and wanted to answer, but Fred was faster. "Well, she trained us like that, we never were good enough to enter the WC before!"

"Well.."

"really?"

"yeah" Ned now fell in and I felt my head turning red. After the whole story how I had brought fame to the Hogwarts Quidditch they had to leave and I hugged them all and promised I'd write. I saw Stan looking at me, it seemed he was going to come and say goodbye, but the twins, each at one side of me, scared him off. I didn't mind it and was happy with Fred and George around me. Afterwards I went to find Draco, but I couldn't find him. Totally against my will I had to think of Snape. I told myself Draco was having a shower and I was being ridiculous to even doubt at Draco's love. But although I fought it with all I had, I knew there was logic sense in Snape's explanation. The next week Draco and I went for a walk with Mayjin every day. Friday was more silent then before, until Draco said. "he's becoming big."

I nodded "he's eight months old." at the end of the lake Draco took my arm and looked into my eyes. "Joan.."

"What" I asked coming closer to him, but he stepped backwards. "I think…I think we shouldn't see each other anymore.." he didn't look into my eyes telling me.

"What? Why?"

"because I think so"

"yeah, but why, what did I do?"

"nothing" he pulled away his hand "it's me, I'm sorry." and he turned around and ran to the castle. Leaving me alone. I felt empty, all those months of luck, were nothing compared to what I felt at that very moment. I nearly felt how I went through my knees and fell. I stared at the castle, hoping he'd come back to tell me it was a joke. When he didn't, I hoped it was just a nightmare and I'd wake up soon. After more then an hour I decided neither of these two was the answer. I stood up and walked to the common room, followed by Mayjin. I doubted, but then went to the stairs to the boys dorms. I forgot to knock and opened the twins and lee's door. "Hiiaaiij!" Lee yelled, jumping in his bed. I, for a moment forgot why I came and quickly apologized, I went back outside, giving Lee a few seconds to get into the bathroom. "Why are you up here Joan?" George asked cheerful, but seeing my face, sat down on the bed, pointing at the spot between him and his brother. I sat down and remained silent. After a couple of seconds I felt the twins looking at each other and Fred carefully asked, "Joan?" I took a deep breath and wanted to tell it, but instead, I cried. Cried and cried. Lee had disappeared, figuring it was best to leave us alone. "He..he broke up with me" I said slowly, still in disbelief. George caring hands turned into fists, while Fred held on to me. "Why?"

"I…I...Don't...know"

"I'm going to find him.." George mumbled. "not now, not here" Fred warned. After an other half hour I looked up, "thanks guys."

"that's ok, are you alright?"

"yeah, I just need some sleep.."

"do you…are you sure you want to go to…Hermione" George asked. I looked up at him, in misunderstanding. "you can always stay here." Fred suggested. Now I looked at him, at what he shrugged. "you can sleep in my bed, I'll take the floor." he smiled.

"o guys" I hugged them both and went to get my nightdress. Hermione looked up, but I was out faster then she could imagine. A bit later I heart how George got rid of Hermione. I got in my nightdress and went back to the bedroom. I looked from George to Fred to Lee, who definitely was confused, he decided to go to the common room, but Fred and George both were staring at me. I realised tears were coming in my eyes again. I couldn't resist I saw Draco's smiling eyes in front of me and cried again. Both Fred and George putted their arms around me and I, again went through my knees. Then things went black and an hour later I realised I was in a bed, I opened my eyes and looked at Fred, who was staring at me. "you alright?" I heard the concern in his voice and nodded. I went sitting and saw George jumping up as well. "I.." I started, because I knew I had to talk about it, but how would they understand? Draco was their enemy, then I came, and forced them to be friends…then… "I.." Fred came closer and wrapped his arms around me, all I could do as response was cry. So I cried, head at Fred's shoulder. Lee came inside and quickly closed the door. "stupid Hermione" he mumbled. "way to curious"

"Joan? You…you want to talk about it?" George carefully asked. I nodded my head, and I felt Fred, forced and not comfortable, giving me more space. "We were just..walking..round the lake…and he…he was so quiet…and he…" I held a long break. "I…I really loved him…loved…I …I cared about him…for real… I just can't stop thinking of the greatest moments we shared…we had such good fun."

"yeah, I know, I know, but you'll be fine girl, I understand what your feeling, but you need to hang on!" George said. I nodded and said I was tired. "Just a second" Fred said. I looked up in misunderstanding. "I have to make a 'bed'" He explained. I don't know what happened and what forced me into this rather strange action, but I wrapped my arms around him and sighed when he held me. "Stay with me Fred" I whispered. "don't you ever leave me!"

"I won't, I promise, I'll never leave you" in some strange way the loosing of Draco, made the need for affection bigger. The touch of Fred gave me a good feeling, as if it wasn't me who was to blame for all this. I fell asleep in Fred's arms, knowing he was the best friend I'd ever had.


	23. Chapter 23

Home and back again

**What to happen next.**

I woke up the next morning, in Fred's arms and felt safe. He smiled at him and said "good morning"

"morning" it was mid-February and I felt empty, not because of the weather, but because of all the images, my memory forced me to look back at. I never missed a person more then I missed Draco now. I had been thinking of him and Snape as well. I decided I was going to the dungeons, to show him how wrong he had been. "Let's get dressed, then we'll go to the kitchen after breakfast. George smiled. And so we did, I followed the twins, but didn't know where my feet took me, they just walked. The past year an half was flashing for my eyes. Over and over again. When we where we were heading back to the common room, I without any warning changed course and ran to the dungeons, hearing the twins coming after me quite fast. I knocked on Snape's door and when I got in I didn't give him the chance to ask me why I'd come to him. "you were wrong! Wrong! See this?!" I pointed at my with tears filled eye. "he broke up! You were bloody wrong!" I repeated. And not able to talk any further because of my sniffing I only gave him words. "bastard…gone…why…"

"Joan?" Snape asked. "What exactly happened?"

"I just told you, Draco broke up with me…don't ask why, cause I don't know." I immediately continued when he opened his mouth. Then something I hadn't quite expected happened. He putted his hand on my shoulder. "I'm…I'm sorry Joan…it might be just better this way." hearing this I wanted to say so many things, but I was to tired, to broken to fight back. The twins came into the room, looking from me to Snape, without asking any explanation, they putted their arms around me and led me back to the common room, and then straight to the dormitories. Up in there I suddenly startled, "o my god!"

"what?!"

"it's practise today!" he twins looked at each other and Fred carefully asked. "You want to cancel it?"

"no, I don't. I'll have a hard time, but he shouldn't destroy the rest of my life as well. To bad the others don't know yet…"

"we could tell them now and.."

"yeah...we should"

"shall I invite them up here?" I nodded in respond and Lee went down to the common room. I sighed look at the twins and said, "I have a feeling the next weeks are going to be rough."

"probably, but we'll help you." I smiled and just wanted to hug them, when Lee came in the room, so I stopped my action. Harry, Ginny, Ron and Hermione curiously came in. "Joan! Where have you been, we couldn't.." I raised my hand and to my surprise Hermione stopped talking. "I need to tell you guys something." I saw at their faces they realized it was a heavy load to give. "Draco…broke up with me."

"WHAT?!"

"that sun of a…"

"…"

"he didn't!"

"..But I'll not let him ruin everything ok? I feel terribly, but I'm not giving up Quidditch…yet" They stood there, a bit stupid so I released them saying I was tired and wanted to sleep. I slept all day and at seven Fred caring woke me up "Joan? It's practise in half an hour.."

"right." I got dressed, grabbed my broom and went to the pitch. Fred and George still at my side I asked Ginny how I looked. "..to be honest, you look tired and sad." she answered. I nodded in approval. "Joan" George whispered and I looked at him, he nodded towards a blond boy coming towards the pitch. I looked at my watch, I could start. I whistled and everyone got in the air, Malfoy coming later. He looked terrible, even worse then me. I ignored him as much as possible, I almost ignored him when he fell off of his broom, I would have, if I wasn't captain. He all of the sudden just fell. I concluded the practise and accompanied by Fred, brought Malfoy to the hospital wing. "You remember Joan, when you told me we should brake up...I was so depressed, now I do it me self, it's funny isn't it? Hehe" he mumbled.

"must have hit the ground pretty hard." Fred concluded. I nodded and Malfoy rambled on: " I don't even know why… I still lolle" he was out of conscious again. I looked at Fred, who raised an eyebrow. We left him in the wing and went for a shower. I decided that, now Hermione knew, I could go back to my old room. While walking at the stairs I saw Draco falling off of his broom again, I had this sudden flew of panic, I sure did still love him. "Hi Joan"

"hi Hermione."

"you ok?" I nodded and got into my bed.

The next day I even dared to go to the Great hall, Draco was still in hospital wing anyway. Thanks to the support of my friends I could smile, even laugh and I according to Ginny looked better. I though constantly thought of Draco, what the hell was going on? I couldn't imagine his love all of the sudden was gone. And the day before, he almost said he still loved me. After midday I suddenly realised I hadn't looked at Mayjin that weekend and decided to take a walk with the dog, "it's ok Fred, I'd rather go alone" I said and went outside with the dog, round the lake, when halfway I just sat down and cried. I felt so weak. I hadn't though it for possible love could be so mean and painful. The next week in classes I was quiet and tried not to look at Draco, but my love for him still was strong and I noticed I was almost constantly looking at him. The whole week past by and I didn't feel any better, at all. Every time I thought of him I thought of the most loveable moments, like our first kiss, his smile, his touch, holidays… and it made me smile, but then thinking of the moment he told me it was over, and I cried, over and over again. I was surprised how many tears could come out off a human body over and over again. At the end of February, after crying everyday at least three times a day, I stopped crying, but it only made me feel worse. The sadness and sorrow was eating my bones and it couldn't get out in the amount of tears. I had almost forgotten about Ron's birthday, with my constantly thinking of Draco. Luckily I had Mayjin to put aside of thought once in a while, and Fred was at top to. He knew exactly what to do when, he was there to listen when I needed to talk and he was there to hold me when I didn't.

Saturday morning I opened y eyes, out of which were coming tears, but I quickly remembered myself it was Ron's birthday. We went down to the common room, Ginny and Lee were already there, the twins just got in when we did, "morning all" Harry kept Ron upstairs as long as possible, to be sure we were all down already, when they got down we all sung Happy birthday and Ron was zealous. He unpacked all presents and the twins gave their as lasts. "to be expected" Ron smiled and held out the present at which we all laughed, for the first time in two weeks and a day I laughed, laughed for real.

The present:

Back:

.

We went down for breakfast and I held a smile on my face until I sat down. George asked Ron when he was going to wear the shirt and Ron was getting a little less happy with his present. It was a lazy day, I wondered around a bit with the twins and Lee, like we used to. I mentioned in hiding my sorrow, every day better. So I laughed at their jokes, but every laugh or smile reminded me of fun moments with Draco. I tried to tell myself it wouldn't have worked out, but I knew it would have. I was of no importance we were in different houses.

All of the sudden a big owl landed in front of me, clearly very tired. I was shocked when I realized the owl got from America! He must be more then exhausted, I forgot the letter for a while and brought the animal to the owl wing, where he would recover for a couple of days. When I had put the owl in the wing and given him some water and food I went to the common room, to read the letter.

_Hi Joan!!_

_Miss you! Now I've seen you it's as if you just left here! I'm sad about that, so are Amy and Leyla…How are you? And how's Quidditch?_

_And how are your friends? Uhm...Harry, of course omg we're all so jealous! Haha you're best mates with HARRY damn POTTER!! And uhm…Ron, Hermione! Ginny (she is cute by the way, haha) uhm...Lee ow the twins, Fred and George? There cute as well!hehe Fred seems to be your new best friend...right? Ow and how's Draco, all loving? XD hope to hear you soon this time._

_Xxxxxx_

_Janice_

I smiled reading it, at least until the last line. I grabbed a feather and ink to write an answer, I would send back a week later, using the same owl.

_HI Janice!!_

_I miss you guys a lot as well! But I indeed have my very good friends over here as well. Quidditch is just great, still the same and my friends all are goof too;) Fred indeed is my best friend, I never met someone like him. You asked how I am? And how Draco is, wel, there's a reason I didn't immediately think of writing you…he kind of broke up with me. To be honest I feel terrible, I can't stop thinking of him and I cry every night. His smile, smirk, gaze all pup into my head in all I do. I still very much love him. Suffering like this, I noticed Fred indeed is the greatest friend ever. He's a great support to me! The hardest time is during Quidditch, really. But well I'll keep up there right____ How are you guys by the way? Greetz to ya all!_

_Xxxxxxxxxxxx_

_Joan_

I felt tears coming up, even just writing it was tough, I never spoke off what I felt. I told Fred enough that I missed him though. That evening practise was just as always and so was Sunday. Monday however Snape asked me to stay a second. I followed him into his office. "Sit down Joan" he said I startled of the softness in his voice, he was being kind. I sat down and so did he. He rested his chin onto his hands and stared at me. "tell me Joan, what exactly is going on here?"

"how do you.."

"you told me a couple of days ago, well you pointed me at the fact that I was wrong. Correct?"

"yes"

"well?"

"well? Well Draco broke up with me!"

"and that proves me wrong cause?" I was surprised of this reaction. _Laughing Draco, kiss, Draco in front of me telling me he was braking up with me. Tears, crying and more crying, Fred and George putting their arms around me_

"you're not rejecting Joan!"

"I..I can't"

"see! They've made you weak. You're special, I keep saying it…"

"exactly!" I jumped up and yelled. "but you're the only one who does! There is nothing fucking special about me!!"

"Joan, may I remind you of the fact that you're screaming at a teacher?"

"I don't bloody care!" I still yelled, but went sitting down. "I miss him" I then added softer.

"I can sure see that. The thing is Joan, you indeed made me doubt as well, but I need you to be real careful! I've noticed he isn't to happy either...you think it's his choice?"

"I'm sorry professor, but I'd rather not think of that.."

"ok, I can understand that...but about what you just said. I think I'm the only one who keeps telling you that because you're special in a way a lot of people don't see, but me."

"excuse me?"

"you're exactly like me Joan."

"no offence, sir, but I think not"

"haha, think about it, you are" he winked and then stood up to let me out.

"professor…"

"just think of it." and so I went back off to the common room, thinking, not wanting to compare.


	24. Chapter 24

Home and back again

**All things happen**

The rest of the week Snape acted like nothing happened. Draco didn't speak, nor did I, but I observed. My heart still cried. I looked like nothing happened to other people, I acted like I did before, but there was an empty feeling inside me. I sent back the owl on Thursday already, because he recovered real fast. Sunday an other owl brought answer.

_Hi Joan,_

_He did what?! How?why? I mean you guys seemed like no-one could ever get you apart! He seemed to really, really love you! I'm sorry to hear that! :s you keeping up alright? Tell Fred I love him for watching you like that! I let Amy and Leyla read the letter as well, so they could answer to_

_Bye love,_

_Xxx_

_Janice_

_Hi Joan,_

_I'm sorry for you! You guys fit great!____ by the way say hi to Ginny, keep you head up girl!! Bye, see you soon I hope_

_xXx_

_Amy_

_Joan!_

_That's terrible! I can imagine I'm not making it any better, but if you feel the need, cry! Feel the need? Scream! Really let it gout girl, you have the right to cry, definitely! I wo'nt say you have to forget him, cause you don't, remember the good things and it'll be easier to move on!_

_Xxx_

_Leyla_

_P.S: Stan got to your letter, we're sorry, but couldn't help it, don't be shocked if he sends you a letter to! SORRY!!_

_Bye!_

_xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_

_Janice_

_Amy_

_Leyla_

I was crying, but comforted at the same time reading it. I'd just hidden it away when Fred came to me, he was laughing with a joke of George and grabbed my shoulder to go with them to the lake, we always took Mayjin out with the four off us since Draco didn't anymore. I looked up and just as he looked at me, still laughing I was shocked by the speed of his expression turning from the one to the other. All of the sudden he looked concerned. "Joan?"

"just…got a letter, no big deal." and gave him a little smile, which gave a way it was a big deal. He pulled me up and wrapped his arms around me. "you cry, girl, you just cry." I held on to him and indeed cried, partly because of his affection. He pressed me against him and really gave a warm feeling. "ok, Let's take Mayjin out." I smiled and so we did. The four of us walked outside, round the lake. Mayjin cheerful walked aside us. "Soon Dumbledore will tell me to let him outside alone and keep him out of the castle during classes"

"he'll wait a bit." George smiled. Dumbledore knew about me and Draco and knew Mayjin was a comfort. We walked back to the castle and I went straight to my dormitory, were an owl was waiting for me. He had a letter…from America…probably from Stan I thought and didn't open it, but didn't throw it away either. When I couldn't get to sleep I decided to read it, not making me sleep any better, at all.

_Hi Joan,_

_Long time no seen, and then I don't count last time, because all had our difficulties. You for instance had this jerk hanging round you, I'm sorry to say, but he doesn't seem the guys for you. I heard he broke up with you? Hope he didn't hurt you to much? I'd certainly hurt him then! No-one, boyfriend or not, should hurt my little Jo. I still love you, more then anything Joan, I hope I'll see you soon, do respond please, I know this might hurt, but…please._

_XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx_

_Your Stan_

I couldn't sleep better at all so decided to answer it.

_Hi Stan,_

_Surprised I hear you! Yeah he did, well these things happen, I'll need some time, but I guess I'll get over it. Thanks for the sweet words, too bad you live in America and I live in England, and also too bad this didn't come when I still was in America.._

_Bye_

_Joan_

There, stupid fuckhead, I thought. Gave it to the owl and let him decide when he wanted to take it back. Mayjin jumped on the bed and sooner then excepted I fell asleep.

The next morning I felt even more miserable because of Stan. I though managed to think of Quidditch, the game against Kammfels was the week afterwards so it wasn't that hard. But in this week before the game it happened, it made me quite incapable of playing Quidditch. I had been at the edge of the dark forest with Mayjin and when I came back a blond boy was waiting for me. "hi there Joan" I stiffened. And looked at a guy being a taller then me, blond and staring into my eyes with his own, green grey ones. "uh..Hi...Malfoy"

"What? Draco isn't good anymore?" he asked at a teasing tone, which stabbed through my heart in every word.

"Well…I see you're all happy, why would you care how I call you?" I said while trying to walk towards the castle, but he just walked with me. "ohh, you're hurting me, like you give a fuck, hanging around with your best mate. Damn girl, why don't you go standing on the Gryffindor table and kiss him!"

I stopped walking, with tears in my eyes "WHAT?! You're over-line! you're the one who broke up and doesn't give a fuck! And I'm the one, who's bloody hurt, was bloody stupid to love you so much and NEEDS bloody comfort for it!!" I screamed. But I was shocked to see a smirk appearing on his face.

"you love me don't you?"

"no, as the matter of fact I hate you!"

"sure you do" he said and then all of the sudden grabbed me and kissed me, needing. I wanted to reject, but I couldn't, I loved him to much. "Joan?" he whispered, eyes closed, as were mine. "hmm?"

"I still love you...I miss you" without wanting to I just had to think of Snape. "but.."

"shhht, please" and so I did and let him kiss me again.

"Fred?" I asked coming up in the dormitory. He immediately jumped up. I sat down and he came sitting next to me. I told him what had happened and saw his hand becoming a fist. "I don't know what to do" I pled, "I love him, but it seems so.."

"wrong?"

"well…yeah, in a way.." he sighed and stared in to the room, thinking.

"I don't know Joan…I really don't know.."

"I'm going to Snape"

"what? Snape?"

"yes" and I ran to the dungeons.


	25. Chapter 25

Home and back again

**An other opinion sweet.**

I ran into his office without knocking and Snape turned around and looked at me with a shocked expression. "Joan!"

"he kissed me, he misses me…I don't know what to do and I" I said fast.

"What?" he asked and began to walk around in the room. I sat down, suddenly calmed down. My thoughts even were able to wonder off. I watched Snape walking up and down and realized I indeed looked a lot like him, except that I apparently was good in Quidditch, a girl and by some founded pretty. But He was one of the best occlumenses to be found, and I was good in it to. We both did have this strong authority and weird, not to be explained obsession for each other. This probably was creating a queer bonding, making it possible to do more then shot minds from each other. In a way he was a feature image of me, which gave a result in understanding. Weird though, but just as I solved one off the mysteries that followed the both of us Snape looked up. He looked in to my eyes and gave the impression he'd worked something out. A really strange thing happened next. He must have seen and guessed the same as I and at the moment we both realised the other had as well. It was a short moment of surprise and unbelief, in silence. After we'd gotten over the shock the bounding would only become even stronger.

He walked to the pensieve and didn't say a word, didn't make a nod or gesture to say, but I just felt it was right, to come. "ok" he said, "let's figure it out" and we dived into one off his memories.

"please Severus" It seemed as if Dumbledore wasn't pleading at all, but just kindly told him he would go and do what he'd just asked. Snape bowed his head and nodded. He went outside the office, outside the castle and in to Hogsmeade to aparate. I was shocked by the next image, a tall man, white skinned and having the expression of a snake looked at us. "ahh Severus" he said with an unnatural voice. Snape bowed deeply and I was disgusted, but hurt as well to see and looked away as I heard Snape answer. "my lord."

"come Severus" I was still looking at the other direction, preparing myself to look at Snape, treated and handling like a sick dog. Snape putted his hand on my shoulder, "come on" suddenly straightened, we followed Snape and Voldemort. Snape all of the sudden didn't seem to have to be my teacher, but a friend, ready to drag me trough this.

"and? Severus."

"Well, Potter still is at Hogwarts, sir and he's still best mates with Dumbledore." this time Voldemort seemed disgusted "the old fool" he whispered in disgust. "What about his new friend, Snape?"

"new friend, sir?"

"yes, new friend, Serverus, Lucius told me Harry has a new friend...a new student."

"ah ow the new student, yes they appear to get along."

"hmm, the stupid boy, thinking love solves all, just like Dumbledore…get me information about this new friend, Severus." I saw Snape swallow before he answered, and the other Snape baled his fists. "I will, sir."

The memory faded and we got back into Dumbledore's office. I could sense it was the same evening, but we just jumped a head a bit. I thought, and since the connection we had since shortly knew pretty sure, something happened underway, not for my eyes.

"Ah Severus, how…"

"don't ask me to do it again professor."

"but.."

"no, you don't understand, he's going to use me to get to Joan." he looked real concerned saying this.

"Joan Dhanes?" Dumbledore asked in a clear amazement.

"yes, professor" Dumbledore stared at Snape for a while and when this one didn't look away, down, or didn't seem to be planning on leaving before there was a solution. Dumbledore turned around and began to walk up and down the room, thinking. Not looking at Snape, who was looking at him, he asked: "What does he want to know?"

"just information, he heard from Lucius that she's friends with Harry" There was a long silence before Snape went on. "seems like the relationship between Joan and Draco isn't as positive as I had hoped." Dumbledore said, thoughtful. It seemed to me, and I know it did to Snape to, that for Dumbledore this was bad, because he'd made a mistake, not because I by any mean could be in danger. "go to sleep, Severus. It's late, we'll figure it out." the memory faded into the next. We're two weeks later Snape whispered, as if the memory was fragile. "I think I figured something out, Severus, but I need certainty. So I need you to go back to Voldemort. You'll have to talk about Joan and we can't lie because of Draco."

"What about Draco and her?"

"for now this isn't bad or anything, Severus, let them love each other." All of the sudden we were at Voldemort and Snape told him my name and history. Weeks forward now Snape was telling Dumbledore about Me and Draco and how we had trouble, he told the whole history and also showed him the solution of that. Then we popped into a memory that shocked me more then the ones before. Dumbledore sat in his big chair and looked…depressed it was a weird image, which didn't last long, but too long for my opinion. "I'm going to endanger my students am I not, Severus?"

"there's a possibility, yes" The expression on Dumbledore's face turned into amusement. "you're inspired by Joan aren't you." Snape just nodded and went on. "What happens next?"

"to be completely honest, I don't know. Go to sleep Severus, we'll se, ok?" We were standing back in Snape's office. I looked around in misunderstanding. "What happened, Where's the rest?"

"Well, we left the case, so did the Dark lord, until a couple of weeks ago, but it's late and you should get some sleep." I wanted to insist, but felt tired and so told him goodnight. I couldn't easily get to sleep, but succeeded after hours of thinking. The next days I amazingly well seemed to be able to avoid Draco. So when it turned Friday evening Kammfels came to us. It were all tough guys ofcourse, but like Glioscas they seemed all to be looking for a girl. It was quite funny, this would be the match between two schools, with the most famous students: Harry Potter and Victor Kruml. Waking up Saturday morning was hell, I felt terrible, not knowing why. I'd been thinking of Draco, Snape and…Stan that night. Stan had sent me another letter.

Hi Joan,

Don't be mean on me now Joan, we both know it was impossible for me to see you back then! I just don't know how or why, but I all of the sudden feel like I've loved you for all my live and you always just slip away. It makes me sad though, I think of you a lot…why can't we be together Joan? The blond guy doesn't love you, Harry has a girlfriend and I don't believe one of the red-haired guys is good enough for you.

I didn't read the rest of the letter, but threw it away. "Son of a bitch", I thought, "who the hell does he think he is?!" Still feeling miserable I putted myself on the side of the pitch instead of at Chaser position. But after half an hour I was fully focused on the game and cursing at my reserve player, I called for time-out and got on my broom.

"I'm sorry Joan."

"What's wrong?"

"I don't know, I'm just not good today" I rolled my eyes and got into the air. We played well after that, as if the team held their straight out of me. Harry dived, followed by Kruml exciting. Kruml managed to grab the snitch a second earlier, which resulted in 450-450 "PENALTIES!" Lee screamed happy. The entire stadium was build in tension. Ron took place at the goals and a strong, big guy threw the Quaffle. "Ron catches!" Lee screamed. I smiled, I knew my training did had a lot to do with that. I f he catches the ones hit by his brothers, he sure can catch a thrown ball by a tall guy. The other keeper now was in the goal and Ned threw. "o what a pity! I mean the Kammfelskeeper catches!" a yelling surrounded the stadium, but another soft, tension building noise when Ron came back at the goals. The next Kammfels player was a mean one and scored. The noise was becoming to much almost, but even more When Ginny scored. Ron caught the last penalty of Kammfels and I for the first time in my life felt visualised. The entire stadium looked at me. I closed my eyes and thought away all, the silence in the stadium was amazing. I thought of all I'd thought of the past days and when opening my eyes, I looked straight into the ones of the keeper and faster then I myself, or he imagined I threw the ball, the keeper moved when the ball was in. He was astonished, as was everyone, but when it was clear I'd scored the stadium went wild. Kammfels normally always won the WC junior. They had never lost. "Danes, Danes, Daneeeeeeeeeeessssssss!!" I heard my name everywhere and got happy of it. The headmaster (not Karkarov)of Kammfels came towards me that evening. "you're Joan Danes I assume?"

"yes I am."

"you're the girl of the winning goal?"

"Well each goal made in the match caused our victory, but I made the last one yes."

"ahh, you're humble aren't you?" he didn't need an answer and went on. "it was a really fascinating goal though, I haven't quite seen one like that."

"Well thank you...I think"

"haha, congrats by all means, miss Dhanes it was a pleasure meeting you. Tell me now, where can I find your captain?"

"Well a pleasure for me to, sir and uemh I'm captain, sir." the amazement was clear on his face and he wasn't able to recover entirely cause he answered in a shocked voice.

"ah! Haha, well, really?"

"yes, is it weird to see a girl as captain, sir?"

"no, no, now you say so, they told me Hogwarts had a girl captain, beside of Beaubatons, you're the only one! But it's strange, because I thought you were the reserve player!"

"Well I can understand the confusion there" I said smiling. "I didn't feel that good, so started as reserve, but the team was, hard to say, but they were lame. So…"

"haha, you're one in a kind miss Dhanes" he said surprised and then waved his hand to a guy of Kammfels, who now started coming our way. "We've never lost in all WC's miss Dhanes, you're the first to defeat us. You're a good captain."

"Well, you were our strongest contestant." I smiled and the man started laughing, "funny to" he mumbled, meant. "this my dear is the pride of my team" he said when the guy, he had called, arrived. "Victor Kruml. As you have yourself and of course Harry Potter." the big, gruffly guy shook my hand. "This, Victor is the girl of the winning goal. Kruml first took a look of me and then nodded "good goal, congrats." I forced myself to give him a little smile "thank you."

"She's also the captain of the team." Now the expression on Kruml's face changed he looked right in to my eyes 'you've got a very, very good team." he said and I nodded, I heard from Hermione you've trained them like that."

"oh no, I mean, there all good from their selves as well!"

"yes, she said that, but she said, you made them, much, much better, she said it's because of you Ron caught two out of the three penalties. She said you made your chasers that fast, and your beaters are so precise, because of you. She said, you would deny it, but you are a great captain. So don't deny, I know" he even gave a smile after that last one and I looked down, overwhelmed by the kindness. "With a captain, like you we'd probably be better then you, I know I'm not a good captain."

"but you've got a great team!"

"not good enough"

"if we're your only loss, then you'll pass the round"

"yes and play to you guys again, you'll play from the start and we'll lose again."

"don't know that"

"by the way your seeker is incredibly fast!" he said after a pause.

"what? Oh Harry! Yeah he is, he's a natural."

"Harry, Potter right?"

"jupe"

"Well, well." he smiled. But then a voice sounded throughout the entire school: "Kammfels, we're leaving."

"Well, got to go, first see Hermione, I hope to see you again uh.."

"Joan"

"yeah, I hope to see you again, Joan and good luck, I've got a feeling the finals can be you and me" he added, laughing and thereby surprised me, "We'll see, good luck to you to"

He shook my hand and went searching for Hermione. After shaking the headmasters hand for half an hour they left and I went up to the common room. I hadn't seen Draco anymore, but I didn't really care, because I wouldn't have an idea of how exactly I should react. I saw my friends all sitting together, it was becoming quite rare to see this, since the twins and Lee had other interests maybe. "Hermione!" I screamed when I got in and I saw Fred toughed she'd did it again. "you're awesome" and I hugged her shortly, "I didn't know you felt that way" I giggled, "there I stood, turning all red" I now laughed, Hermione laughed with me" o well!" We didn't get by for a long time, because of the others' faces. After a lot of explaining and telling and stuff Fred asked me to talk to him for a second. I went with him, and he looked seriously. "I saw you and Kruml"

"uh?"

"So did Malfoy…he appeared to be shocked."

"but..what? how the? Nothing…"

"he said something though, thinking aloud."

"and that was?"

"I think he said, how dares she or he.."

"What?! But nothing happened."

"I know Joan, I just wanted you to know, I don't know, why or how he said or meant it."

"pf, thanks Fred."

"that's alright, you know it is." I gave him a smile and told him goodnight and all of the sudden because I felt for it I gave him a kiss on his cheek as a goodnight kiss. I'd never done that before and I knew he startled, but it didn't feel bad at all.


	26. Chapter 26

Home and back again

**Let's just move on further.**

The next morning I succeeded in waking up happy. And went to classes without any trouble. Draco apparently had managed to land up in hospital wing. So I didn't need to avoid him, but my heart cried out the need to go and visit him. It was clear Snape was working on something and he was to busy to take out two hours for me but Tuesday evening he showed me one memory again. "This is a memory of three months ago ok, only a short one, but I don't have anymore time, ok?"

"right."

Snape was back at Voldemort again, "Where is he anyway?" I asked, but Snape wouldn't answer. "aaah Severus… you probably remember how I was telling you how stupid Harry, because of old Dumbledore believe love is the solution to all?"

"yes I do, sir"

"Well, young Joan, probably thinks the same, but what if Severus, what if we use that, for once let love be the solution.." I saw the "memory-Snape" stiffen. Apparently and luckily Voldemort didn't. "sir?"

"out of your bounds Snape, I'll discus it with Lucius, of you go." And Snape left. We were back in the dungeons and while chasing me out Snape said: "no more time today, I discovered something important, go!" And I went the next day Draco apparently was out off the hospital wing he sometimes smiled at me and I couldn't stop myself from smiling back, I just loved the damn boy so much.

"ok" I said that evening in the Quidditch dress room. "Dumbledore got me something this afternoon you all may like, of course it's no surprise for you all that we're on to the second round." both the teams screamed, but not to overwhelming. "there are two other schools with us."

"Kammfels!" Ned said.

"yes, Ned, Kammfels. And Parker. We lost nothing, Kammfels one, Parker two, beau batons three and the other school all."

"wow!"

"indeed, I'm sure we'll win from Parker...next week, wait...this weekend we're going to America. Then they play against Kammfels, they'll probably lose two times, if they do it's final in three weeks, us against Kammfels.

"cool! We can win the WC!"

Not to soon Ned, we'll practise now ok, for among others your aiming in penalties." it was effective to attack him like that cause he remained silent for the rest of practise. Thursday Snape called me at his office again. "I can't show you everything I wanted to show you, but it should be enough." We dived to Voldeort again, "do you understand Severus."

"I do, sir."

"Sir, o I'm sorry to disturb you my lord." Lucius seemed scared a bit but Voldemort easily asked what was wrong. "sir, my son, he heard us talking about the girl…he knows were using him as a way to her."

"how exactly could that happen Lucius?" I felt how Snape took us further and passed a piece, I suddenly realised Snape should be very good in adapting the memories, but I felt this all really had happened.

"tell me Severus, how's your relationship with Joan?"

"just teacher-student, sir"

"nothing special?"

"not really"

"Lucius tells other.."

"Well she indeed is special, and I can't deny I'm intrigued, but she's just a student."

"ok, I belief you, I know she's special Severus, she had an amazing impact on people. Now go, I need to solve something else."

"now quickly back to the common room Joan."

"What, eh ow, but…"

"think of it, if you can't answer the questions yourself you can ask me. But I didn't because the next day we left to America: "JOAN!!" Janice, Amy and Leyla flew round my neck.

"hi girls" I laughed. They were all talking together and only half got through. "hi there Joan."

"ow fuck off Stan" Leyla said.

"excuse me, I think I have the same right to greet an old friend." I knew all my friends were watching and Stan reached his hand to pull me from behind Leyla, Amy and Janice, I didn't take it, but stepped towards him.

"hi Stan" I said.

"Joan" he whispered "I'm happy to see you." In spite of my cold look, he putted his hand on my neck I quickly wanted to step away and hit him, but didn't even got the chance. George had taken Stan's shoulder, he'd let me go and looked behind him, when turning back Fred hit him in the face. Stan grabbed is painful nose and ran away. "bastards!" he mumbled." you came close dude, close, but no cigar!" George yelled after him. Fred turned around and looked at me in all concern "are you alright?" he asked and softly held my shoulders, I smiled and nodded. I knew Stan must be in pain Fred had hit him hard and the rest of the day it remained the talking subject. Draco came to me and kissed me in my neck and then walked on. I looked down, knowing questions would come "Jo.." I looked up and saw Ron looking at Fred, his eyes were wide, the expression was clear "don't ask, she doesn't want to talk about it, mind yourself, cause you can end up like Stan." I smiled at Fred, who looked at me in concern, but realised it and smiled and then looked down. I was appalled of that, a reaction I hadn't quite expected.

The next day it was Quidditch match, Stan couldn't play. This morning he has let the headmaster know that he "didn't feel that good" Janice laughed. We all laughed along, "our headmaster wasn't happy though" Amy giggled. "you guys will win and we'll see the final, girl, I promise we will." Leyla winked. Then they got to the tribune, accompanied by Lee and Hermione. Fred, George, Ron, Harry and Ginny followed me to the dress rooms. A couple minutes later we got out of them ant into the pitch. We overwhelmed Parker, nicely said. "We blasted them over!" Ned said afterwards.

"like totally!" Ginny now even smiled.

"this was worse then Hufflepuf last year." Ron laughed. It was, we ended up 680-40 and then Ron most of the time had been sleeping. Afterwards we said goodbye to Janice, Leyla and Amy. Stan didn't dare on coming outside and Hogwarts left in glory. When we arrived at Hogwarts Mayjin came running towards me, the cup was about a year old now and he was strong. I was appalled when I heard Draco calling my name. "Want to go for a walk around the lake?" he just all of he sudden stood there and asked that as if the past time was just a silly dream. I without thinking looked at Fred, who had been looking at Draco and now quickly looked at me. I couldn't read the expression on his face. As if there was something to hide, then I looked back at Draco, who was ,now canting his head. I loved him and a piece of me so badly wanted to go with him, but I got scared, not only be cause of Snape, but he just reacted so strange, it had been a week since he'd kissed me the first time again and I hadn't heard him then, so there was confusion and now all of the sudden he…I was confused and felt how I nodded my head. He smiled and grabbed my hand. We walked half way the lake when Draco stopped walking. "What?" I asked.

"What's wrong with us?"

"how do you mean.."

"you know what I mean"

"well you're the one who broke up."

"but I know it was a terrible mistake, I want it back."

He sighed and sat down, head in his hands. "Joan."

"shht" I answered and sat down near him. "I still love you" he looked up and searched my face. Then he, carefully as if it could be broken any time he lifted his hand and putted it in my neck to kiss me. I was so overwhelmed that I just let it happen and then decided to kiss him back, I knew I still was hurt by the loss of him, that I still loved him and that I hungered for his touch, so I decided not to break this, but be careful afterwards. I kissed him back and as answer he kissed me more passionate, I threw my hands round his neck and kissed him back, trying to fill the longing of the past weeks. Running our hands through each others hair, we apparently were moving cause all of the sudden I fell. Draco hesitated, but I didn't gave him the time to ask anything, but pulled his head down and kissed him. He easily was pulled down and kissed like never before, the feeling I had was indescribable, the need and passion was overwhelming. While kissing me I felt his hand go down…


	27. Chapter 27

Home and back again

**A strange hunger**

The next morning I wake up with the feeling of hunger to Draco. I felt guilty, because I'd promised myself I could make a slipper and work it the day afterwards. But the slipper didn't make it easier as I first thought it would have, on the contrary, it got worse. When I walked in to the Great hall and saw him, that morning, I had to control myself, for not running over towards him and kiss him. But I told myself I shouldn't. To bad though, after potions class, Draco threw over his bag, in front of my feet. I was last in class and looked at Snape, it was clear he planned on keeping me here. So I helped Draco getting his stuff together. "Thank you" he whispered, I struggled with myself and just remained looking down. He came closer and now whispered, with his nose against my hair "Joan?" I tried to pull my head away, but the longing came from both sides. I knew he felt the same way I did. We couldn't be together, but longed for each other. I, eyes closed moved my head a little bit closer and I felt his face coming trough my hair to my face. He kissed my cheek and slowly went down my face.

"hum hum" Draco and I both jumped up, appalled. With our heads turning red we looked at Snape. "Joan, I need you to stay her a second" I nodded and quickly walked over him and heard Draco getting out. We stood there watching each other a while and then he broke the silence. "I'm disappointed in you, Joan"

"so am I, professor." I knew he realised what it all was, so he turned around to the pensieve. But half way apparently changed his mind. "there isn't any time left, I got to go, I'm trying to confirm your safety, seeing this actually didn't made me very happy. But as I said, I'm off to the dark lord, go to Dumbledore Joan, it's time to start."

"What?" But Snape took his coat and left. So I ran up the stairs towards the office of professor Dumbledore. While walking there I realized this was strange, normally it was Harry who always 'visited' Dumbledore. Dumbledore and Harry was like Snape and me….well sort of. Then it was time to realize I didn't know the password. Maybe Harry knows it, I thought, and then realized I hadn't tell anybody anything about it, which wasn't real good actually. While thinking of who, when and how I'd have to tell them all, I was still walking towards Dumbledore's office. "ah Joan!" I startled when the headmaster called my name. I've been excepting you, come on in." he said and walked up to his office. I followed him thinking I got in easier then expected. "you've been expecting me? Sir?"

"yes, Joan, apparently Voldemort is afraid of you, more then Harry, he's distracted by a new character in the game. I didn't expect him to be so reckless. Good for Harry, good for us, a distracted enemy is easier to fight, ain't that right?"

"I assume so.."

"Because you are the new character you do deserve a bit of an explanation, I thought. Obviously professor Snape thought so to and handled sooner then I would have. He gave away things that should not had been given away, Joan. Luckily you appear to be very good at occlumensie, right? Professor Snape told me of your 'equalities' with him. This might be very handy. Since you beloved potions master already gave it away there is no use in being careful, normally you weren't suppose to know Snape is our man, not Voldemort's. you do, you, me and he himself are the ONLY persons who do, Joan, the only ones and I'd love to keep it that way, ok?" I nodded. " well, you'll even have to improve in occlumensie so no-one can possibly find out. You already know about how Voldemort aimed his attention to you, may god know why?"

"yes."

"good, I'm thinking you could be handling the same way Snape is, only Snape has done it for the past seventeen years. You'll be special in our history Joan, do you understand where I'm going?"

"not really, professor." Dumbledore sighed.

"it'll be though Joan, that's all I can say now, first you need to inform Harry carefully, but you can't give anything away yet, it is important to keep persons unaware of some stuff for their own safety, just tell him Voldemort is up to something and I asked the both of you to come by office this weekend. Can you do that?" I nodded

"professor?"

"yes?"

"you say it's best to keep some people unaware of some stuff…are there things I, Snape don't know?"

"professor Snape, Joan.. And no, it's pretty important for the both of you to be informed of all and because you're occlumenses there's no great danger." I nodded in understanding.

"good, now another thing, you need to explain, you and Draco?" he looked at me with blue eyes, giving away innocence, I wanted to tell, but couldn't look in his eyes while I did. "we're not together anymore…I still love him, even though I'm not sure weather he has ever loved me."

"I'm quite sure he did, Joan. Now Snape said he wanted you guys to get away from each other, I say different. Don't act like you know anything, Joan, not yet. Now off to Harry, only Harry, same for him, only you, ok?" he winked.

I as soon as I was half way the corridor started running towards the common room. When I got in I was happy to see the twins and Lee weren't there. "Harry?" I asked. Harry looked up from wizard-chess, so did Ron, Hermione looked up from her books and Ginny lifted her head from Harry's chest. "uhm, sorry, could I uhm..talk to you for a second?"

"why?"

"could I explain that while talking?"

"Why so mysterious, Joan? Why can't we know?"

"Harry?"

"yeah sure" he stood up and gave Ginny a kiss and then followed me out of the common room. My ears worked good enough to hear Ginny say: "pff, there's always something to that girl. "Joan?" Harry asked when we got out of the common room, but didn't answer and kept walking. Harry followed. When we were outside I turned towards him: Harry, I'm going to keep this short, it's important no-one knows. Ok?"

"uhu"

"Well, Professor Dumbledore asked me to come to his office and bring you along, this weekend." Harry seemed a bit hurt, maybe because he always met Dumbledore. "ok" he said. I realised I hadn't been very subtle and tried to restore. "I'm sorry, nobody may know except you and me. He hasn't told me a lot about it, but he's up to that this weekend. It's about…Voldemort." Harry now looked straight into my eyes and nodded, ok I'll join you." and we then, without an other word walked back to the common room. I lied pretty smoothly to him and felt a bit guilty but hid it well. Entering the common room Ron, Hermione and Ginny looked up. "hi" Harry said, I smiled at them and went straight to my dorm. I hear the three friends asking abut what happened. Harry shrugged and went on with his game. The next three days Snape wasn't at school, I felt getting worried and didn't know what to do or think. I knew Harry was constantly searching eye-contact, which I consciously avoided. I actually began to avoid everyone, I nearly spoke to Hermione and Ginny. Ron didn't speak to me, because he still got afraid when I looked angry and the latest days I looked puzzled, he apparently found it bad enough. I was avoiding Fred to, without really knowing why, myself. During practises I was the old me, but closed off more. And after practise (because no-one should know) Draco and I were what we were before. So it was Quidditch practise and afterwards I saw the entire dress room from an other angle. Friday I almost didn't talk anymore even at practise I was quiet and didn't practise along. Since I didn't talk at all practise was lame. The players, especially second team didn't practise, because I didn't say anything at it. In the dress room I found back my voice. "I must say I'm very disappointed." the team players all looked up in surprise. "If I don't say anything you guys don't practise. That means you don't like Quidditch, or you just really want to lose the final." I'd expected some mumbling, but instead everyone quietly and in shame looked to the floor. "you may all think there's always something to me…" I saw Ginny turning red in the embarrassment and Ron gave her a look saying "if you want to backbite, then make sure they don't hear you."

"…And there indeed is. I'm sorry, I don't chose for it, you guys on the other hand today decided to not to practise, because I don't feel well. I'm sad to see how my team is not at all behind me. I'll not jump in on a match anymore if I remain in this positions, guys, I'm not at all happy" I said and then got back out as first and told the two second team's beaters to clean. I went up straight to my dorm and for the first time avoided Draco again. I whistled and Mayjin immediately came with my upstairs and lied down on my bed. He was almost full grown and a beautiful dog. I turned over and fell a sleep.


	28. Chapter 28

Home and back again

**Who's the caring hand now?**

I was a sleep and a little time later I woke up by the soft repeating of my name. "hmmm"

"Joan, I'm sorry, but are you alright?"

"Fred?" I asked with my eyes still closed.

"uhu"

"I'm sorry"

"you were right, tell me, what's wrong?"

"can't tell you, I'm sorry"

"that's ok, come on here" he said and I straightened up to put my arms round his neck. His strong arms came round me, caring, but strong and it gave the feeling of safety. I remembered how I had loved the strong arms of Draco around me, Fred's arms were even stronger and he gave me the feeling I could trust him in everything. Thinking this all made me put my head to his chest and cried softly. He held his one hand on my back and laid the other on my head, but didn't ask to explain. An hour later I still laid in his arms, I still didn't feel like going away there. Fred didn't really seemed to mind to, he now sat against the wall with me against him. "Fred?"

"hmm?"

"thank you." He just smiled and half an hour later Fred decided it was time for me go to bed. I agreed in that and he kissed me on the top of my head "goodnight Joan"

"night Fred." I startled a bit of the little kiss, but didn't really mind and got into my bed. I fell a sleep quicker then expected. The next morning I went for breakfast and got back in the common room when the twins and lee got from their dorm. "morning!" they said together.

"good morning" I answered.

"you come back with us?"

"no thanks" Fred all of the sudden came closer to me and grabbed my shoulders and looked straight into my eyes. "Sleep well?" I nodded and clearly appalled him when I stepped closer, but he recovered and putted his arms around me as I did with him. I putted my head on his chest again and he bowed his head to put his chin on my head. After a while I let him go. I heard Lee and George asking him questions while walking to the great hall, questions he nor I could answer. Harry already ate and he only needed one look of me to stand up and follow me outside the common room. "It'll be a relieve when we can talk about it."

"hmm, when you know more about it we can talk about it." Harry was a bit astonished by my answer and remained silent while walking towards the office. "Aaah Harry, Joan, come on in" Dumbledore said friendly. And so we did, we each took a chair and sat down. "So, I'll start with some regular information, especially for you, Harry. At first it's important no-one knows yet. And well it of course is about Voldemort. You see our old friend, Harry, has lost a bit of his attention on you, because all of the sudden you have a new friend. You most probably have seen already she's no ordinary girl. Voldemort aims on people who voluntary become death eaters and persons of great power as you of course know." Harry nodded and Dumbledore went on. "Now his attention on you is weakened we can 'attack' him, by that I mean, we can terrify him, let him know we're smarter and he'll pull back for a while, or we could take the entire order and start battle, of course with the necessary preparations." he gave a weird smile and looked at Harry.

"battle seems best." he said after a long pause. Dumbledore smiled and nodded, "I'll inform the order, in time. Now that's all for today for you, Harry, Joan I'll need you alone a second." I nodded, while Harry got up, I knew this felt weird for him and Dumbledore saw it to. But didn't immediately reacted. When he shot the door, Dumbledore looked at me for the first time that evening. "Professor Snape didn't like my idea to much." he gave a little smile, which I found hard to give an emotion. "He thought you should be kept away from danger."

"I want to help." he smiled again. "thought you would. So I informed him and the order of my idea to use Voldemort's distraction, with Harry. It is of need that Harry is the one "finishing" Voldemort. We how ever need time, there's a need of more preparations then you can imagine. In the mean time I need you to stay the distraction. You'll need to play the game, Joan."

"How?"

"you know he used Draco, right? Don't ever make clear you do. But play Voldemort by playing Draco."

"But.."

"you think you can't, Joan?"

"he's doing exactly the same."

"but I still.."

"love him? Then think of what's more important, Joan. Besides you can play the game in a way it helps us, but yourself to." he winked. "I know you wont let us down oh and before you leave Snape would love to talk to you to." I nodded stood up and headed for the dungeons. Snape indeed seemed relieved to see me. "Joan!" the last time Snape was calling me at my first name more and more often, it though still felt weird. "So Dumbledore told you what he wants?"

I nodded. "well the three of us are the only ones knowing the entire plan, be proud." he …smiled! "come" and he walked to the pensieve, a couple of seconds later we were back in time. I couldn't fully focus at first. What Dumbledore had just asked went trough my mind. Snape stood in front of Voldemort, Lucius at his side. I decided to focus and it worked rather well. "how about it?" Voldemort asked. "Well Joan is feeling a bit depressed lately." Snape said. "How come?"

" I don't know, but it's quite obvious."

"Lucius?" The man who'd seemed sow terrifying when I met him the first time, now seemed terrified himself. He aimed his eyes on the ground as he uncomfortable tried to make a good sentence. Next I for the second time dived into the memory of a person in a memory. Snape apparently pushed himself into Lucius' head.

"YOU WHAT?!" a furious Lucius screamed. The pale, handsome boy, he was yelling to looked scared the hell and mumbled, whilst stepping backwards. "I…I ..love her very much father…I can't just deliver her to the dark lord in a package."

"Don't you realise that your oh-so-good-dead just brought me into very, very much trouble?!"

"but.."

"I don't want to hear it!" and he slammed the boy in his face. Snape came back and stared at Lucius, a bit shocked. I felt the "now-Snape" look at me as tears filled my eyes. Lucius stumbled, "I think my son has made a terrible mistake." Voldemort's eyes caught flames, but I didn't care if Lucius got punished. I needed a hug, but the only person around was Snape. I walked to the memory-Snape and threw my arms around him, not quite knowing why. There was a bound and Snape was as an older brother, that could have been my father. Snape was appalled to see me putting my arms around him, I knew that, but didn't had the courage to do this with the now-Snape. I should have known that a great occlumens as him was able to adjust his memory and I startled a bit when memory-Snape carefully held his arms round me. I looked up to the now-Snape and he smiled at me. I let him go and heard Voldemort scream against Lucius, but now-Snape took my hand and pulled me out off the memory. I know he had done this because he thought I deserved to know. We stood back in the office of Snape and I kept staring at the pensieve and Snape looked at me. After a while I looked up "thanks" he just smiled in return and I headed for the common room, more specific to my dorm. I slept the rest of the day until Hermione woke me up, "Harry is asking for you." she said and for a moment it seemed she was going to ask what this was all about, but she didn't and I followed her to the common room. I looked at Harry, who canted his head and stepped outside the common. I followed him out. "what?"

" Dumbledore asked to come." When we arrived he told us to sit down and told us all about Horcruxes. He told us we'd both get a task. Harry's was to destroy the Horcruxes

and mine was to distract Voldemort. We both got a schedule of when he expected to see us. Because we had different tasks he'd keep us apart, I knew it was because no-one may know what exactly I would be doing. "Harry, I know you will what so ever, so I'll give you the permission. Hermione and Ron have proven their courage and loyalty to you before, they may know, but no-one else, understood?"

"yes professor."

"and you, Joan."

"I can't tell anyone"

"exactly, nobody may know, not even Harry, ok?"

"yes professor."

"good., then you may go, Harry you stay here, we've some important stuff to do." I left his office to, surprising, get back into my bed, accompanied by Mayjin. The next day I woke up round half past ten. I hadn't eaten the day before and slept more in these two days then I normally did in a week. I petted Mayjin and heard "ah you're awake!" I looked up and Fred stood there, smiling. "What's wrong?" I shrugged.

"don't you want some breakfast?" I nodded and got up, he closed the door behind him and waited for me in the common room. I followed him down for breakfast. During breakfast Dumbledore announced that we were in the final against Kammfels and all the schools who had entered the WC would be there. The entire school was enthusiastic for the rest of the day…almost the entire school. That evening during practise, I again didn't say a word, but the team trained hard and I was happy. And again Draco approached me after practise when everyone was gone. I thought of Dumbledore and felt uncomfortable, but then let Draco chose and come. And though I disgusted myself for it I still enjoyed him, his fingers and mouth. And he, probably with the same self-disgust, clearly enjoyed kissing and touching me. I had never been as truly in love with someone as with Draco, but this way it was painful and I knew that every part of how I felt, he felt exactly the same. We both were pushed to the one person we love so much, both knowing it would end bad for the other, but necessary because of fear, we in secret enjoyed each others touch.


	29. Chapter 29

Home and back again

**Final: one last time**

The entire next week passed like this, even now we were a couple of days away from the final, I still was pretty silent at practises. Friday evening we packed our bags, the final would be in a huge stage, because all schools who had entered would be there to watch.

"ok" I said and the team looked as if they were surprised to hear my voice again. "so, we've beaten them last time, but very close, they're well prepared to that, this time, so I'm not sure for the result." the team didn't look confident and I knew it was because of me. "But I do know that we are a hell of a team. We're in the final, something no-one had expected, but we are, because we…are a good team. They've got damn fucking kruml? Well sure they have, but we've got us, ourselves, all of us, each a wonderful player and together, the best team there is to make of an ordinary school team. We haven't been defeated once, in the whole competition! We were better then the brutality of Glioscas, the beauty of Beaubatons and hell we were better then the strength of Kammfels! We've beaten them once, we bloody CAN do it again!" the eyes of the players got their sparks back as their smiles grew wider. "you guys are just great" I went on "I know I haven't been with you lately, but today, my friends, we'll show the world which wood we're cut out, we ARE the bloody damn best Hogwarts team ever, our school has been through a lot already, so has each of it's students. And then in specific in this team, we will NOT let us be beaten by a damn popular guy in such a good team, no! I'm telling you we sure can win this!" I made a fist to make my words even more powerful and at my last word the team screamed, screamed in joy, faith, strength and friendship. They were ready, more then ever! Kammfels was released in the pitch first, we heard the yelling of the audience till our dress rooms. "Kammfels has heard our call, they're scared, more then they dare to admit" I told the first play team. We got in the pitch and we were shinning of confidence. Our heads held up high we flew in the pitch, and which normally only would have gotten into Ned's mind, now the entire team did at my example. If we were here, winning or loosing, we'd make the best of it! As if we were the luckiest people in the entire world we laughed with a certain arrogance. We flew to the side of the pitch witch contained the Hogwarts audience. I flew first and in a line behind me followed the team, Harry, Ron, Fred, George, Ginny and Ned we ended up in a line in front of the stage and bowed, the entire school yelled out his enthusiasm, I smiled at them and abetted them even more. I saw Dumbledore even was yelling, he winked at me and next to him sat Snape, with a proud smile. I flew on again followed by the others to the Parkers stage, there came just as much yelling, they were all at our hand because I was part of them to. We did the other schools as well, down here the opinions were parted. We went back to the middle of the pitch and rested before my team to shake hands with Kruml. "good luck" I said. He looked me into my eyes and judged me, then nodded and groaned: "you to." I gave little smile and went back to the team. "al set? Go!" the Quaffle was thrown up, the snitch and the bludgers were released. Both of the teams got in the air, fast speed. Ned got the Quaffle and passed it to Ginny. Fred passed one bludger to the beater, who aimed the other bludger towards Ginny, the other beater apparently didn't really see anything and the first beater was blown of his broom. He was replaced by the second play team beater and the arbitrator wasn't to though, apparently. The Kammfels team complained, but he didn't give in, I though gave the smiling Fred a warning look. The rest of the game it got clear Fred an George were more then a bit faster then the other beaters, as our chaser also were faster and Ron better then the Kammfels keeper to. The only Kammfels position that might be stronger then ours was the seeker and Harry was pretty fast to. Each goal that was made, was followed by a tremendous yelling of the audience after an hour it was 210-170, we were ahead, but they still could win. All of the sudden Kruml dived down, I tried to keep focused on the game, the Kammfels clearly weren't, because Ginny and I each scored during Kruml's dive. The strange thing was Harry followed the first meters and then held his broom steady, he had read Kruml's trap and seen the snitch just in time to help him with that. Harry now high speeded followed the snitch. The Kammfels team actually was pretty stupid, they all now followed the snitch in tensions, while we played on, it was to easy, we scored another three times.260-170. "Eight more goals and we're good" I laughed, but Kruml's arrear was to big, he got back pretty well, because of his speed, but to late, Harry caught the snitch and we won! The sound following after that was just indescribable, I wouldn't have been surprised if the stage would have broke down. I, along with the rest off the team flew at Harry to congratulate and hugged him and, well in Ginny's case, kiss him. After we'd flew some victory rounds in the pitch we went back to the dress room where we hugged the rest of the team, only Draco was forgotten by all, but me, I just didn't dare going towards him. The rest of the day we all got congratulations from everyone who was present. Life was wonderful, I normally would have thought, but I had to much on my mind right now. Snape had shown me how Draco got forced to cooperate and it felt bad to do the same thing the other way around. "you'd only help him" Snape said. Still it didn't feel good, but thinking this all and sensing the pure happiness of everyone around I ran to Draco that day, after considering it. Putted my arm round him and kissed him, he immediately grabbed me and fully kissed back. I almost my balance, but Draco held me up my feet. I felt people watch, mouths fall open. Dumbledore must have smiled a little, while Snape probably looked a bit sad. My friends all must have been in amazement and Fred…was probably happy for me, but confused, I thought. After this we were starting over again. It was a huge party until the early hours. Kammfels what so ever disappeared rather quickly, but the headmaster and Kruml came to congratulate me. When Kruml after that had wanted to go to Hermione, Ron had grabbed her and kissed her at her mouth, he had, astonished of himself, backed off a bit, but Hermione had thrown her arms round his neck and started kissing him back. "Well well" George said "while we're at it, someone who wants to prove his love to me?" Some people laughed and I, the entire evening walked in the company of Draco, more specific, in his arm. I had the honour of receiving the WC-cup and it would get a monumental place in Hogwarts. After the party we told the other schools goodbye and the 5th, 6th an 7th years along with the teachers continued the party back in Hogwarts. I couldn't possibly have counted the amount of congrats I got at one evening and one morning, but the next days I, as well as the rest of he team, received letter from all over the wizarding world who admired our accomplishment of beating Kammfels twice in a row. I was overwhelmed and because nobody dared to ask what exactly was going on with me and Draco the next week made me forget all trouble. Saturday evening, what so ever I reminded myself at my appointment with Dumbledore. While walking to the office of the headmaster I remember how uncertain and almost scared I was to meet him the first time, but he'd been so friendly that not only my respect increased, but also the fear I had for him, which was a strange aspect. A bit like whit Snape really. I knocked at his door and Dumbledore seemed happy "congratulations again with you victory, Joan"

"thank you, professor."

"and as well for the success in you task, duty or faith." the weak smiled I'd had when walking in disappeared, I looked down and said. "it's hurting I hope it doesn't take to long."

"I'll have to disappoint you I'm afraid, Harry and I are going to be busy bit further, but Harry is smart, Joan, it might go faster then I'd think myself."

Like this weeks and weeks passed, just taking classes, still having Quidditch practises for fun, and still together with Draco, although it was quite clear this wasn't what it had been before. I kept having appointments with Dumbledore, but it were short sessions, from a certain moment, he just let Harry inform me of the facts. I only had one task : keeping Draco. I though didn't completely understand Dumbledore and decided in the end of May to go and see him again. "I've got a question, professor." He didn't answer and I knew I just could go on. "the past weeks I've not been doing anything, but letting Voldemort believe Draco and I are still together…I wondered, this is not just a distraction, is it? Professor. I mean, this what so ever will have serious consequences and I though plans were going to mad for fighting him…I.."

"I understand Joan, don't make it to hard on yourself, as the matter of facts, I was going to start this soon. We'll start planning and you need to get to Manson Malfoy this summer, because then you'll be forced to get to Voldemort. And then we can get there and make our battle." I nodded and Dumbledore went on. "try to already puzzle a date for that, ok?" I nodded and before I could ask anything else he said: you look tired, Joan, get some sleep." and before I knew I was chased out of the office.

**Final: one last time**

The entire next week passed like this, even now we were a couple of days away from the final, I still was pretty silent at practises. Friday evening we packed our bags, the final would be in a huge stage, because all schools who had entered would be there to watch.

"ok" I said and the team looked as if they were surprised to hear my voice again. "so, we've beaten them last time, but very close, they're well prepared to that, this time, so I'm not sure for the result." the team didn't look confident and I knew it was because of me. "But I do know that we are a hell of a team. We're in the final, something no-one had expected, but we are, because we…are a good team. They've got damn fucking kruml? Well sure they have, but we've got us, ourselves, all of us, each a wonderful player and together, the best team there is to make of an ordinary school team. We haven't been defeated once, in the whole competition! We were better then the brutality of Glioscas, the beauty of Beaubatons and hell we were better then the strength of Kammfels! We've beaten them once, we bloody CAN do it again!" the eyes of the players got their sparks back as their smiles grew wider. "you guys are just great" I went on "I know I haven't been with you lately, but today, my friends, we'll show the world which wood we're cut out, we ARE the bloody damn best Hogwarts team ever, our school has been through a lot already, so has each of it's students. And then in specific in this team, we will NOT let us be beaten by a damn popular guy in such a good team, no! I'm telling you we sure can win this!" I made a fist to make my words even more powerful and at my last word the team screamed, screamed in joy, faith, strength and friendship. They were ready, more then ever! Kammfels was released in the pitch first, we heard the yelling of the audience till our dress rooms. "Kammfels has heard our call, they're scared, more then they dare to admit" I told the first play team. We got in the pitch and we were shinning of confidence. Our heads held up high we flew in the pitch, and which normally only would have gotten into Ned's mind, now the entire team did at my example. If we were here, winning or loosing, we'd make the best of it! As if we were the luckiest people in the entire world we laughed with a certain arrogance. We flew to the side of the pitch witch contained the Hogwarts audience. I flew first and in a line behind me followed the team, Harry, Ron, Fred, George, Ginny and Ned we ended up in a line in front of the stage and bowed, the entire school yelled out his enthusiasm, I smiled at them and abetted them even more. I saw Dumbledore even was yelling, he winked at me and next to him sat Snape, with a proud smile. I flew on again followed by the others to the Parkers stage, there came just as much yelling, they were all at our hand because I was part of them to. We did the other schools as well, down here the opinions were parted. We went back to the middle of the pitch and rested before my team to shake hands with Kruml. "good luck" I said. He looked me into my eyes and judged me, then nodded and groaned: "you to." I gave little smile and went back to the team. "al set? Go!" the Quaffle was thrown up, the snitch and the bludgers were released. Both of the teams got in the air, fast speed. Ned got the Quaffle and passed it to Ginny. Fred passed one bludger to the beater, who aimed the other bludger towards Ginny, the other beater apparently didn't really see anything and the first beater was blown of his broom. He was replaced by the second play team beater and the arbitrator wasn't to though, apparently. The Kammfels team complained, but he didn't give in, I though gave the smiling Fred a warning look. The rest of the game it got clear Fred an George were more then a bit faster then the other beaters, as our chaser also were faster and Ron better then the Kammfels keeper to. The only Kammfels position that might be stronger then ours was the seeker and Harry was pretty fast to. Each goal that was made, was followed by a tremendous yelling of the audience after an hour it was 210-170, we were ahead, but they still could win. All of the sudden Kruml dived down, I tried to keep focused on the game, the Kammfels clearly weren't, because Ginny and I each scored during Kruml's dive. The strange thing was Harry followed the first meters and then held his broom steady, he had read Kruml's trap and seen the snitch just in time to help him with that. Harry now high speeded followed the snitch. The Kammfels team actually was pretty stupid, they all now followed the snitch in tensions, while we played on, it was to easy, we scored another three times.260-170. "Eight more goals and we're good" I laughed, but Kruml's arrear was to big, he got back pretty well, because of his speed, but to late, Harry caught the snitch and we won! The sound following after that was just indescribable, I wouldn't have been surprised if the stage would have broke down. I, along with the rest off the team flew at Harry to congratulate and hugged him and, well in Ginny's case, kiss him. After we'd flew some victory rounds in the pitch we went back to the dress room where we hugged the rest of the team, only Draco was forgotten by all, but me, I just didn't dare going towards him. The rest of the day we all got congratulations from everyone who was present. Life was wonderful, I normally would have thought, but I had to much on my mind right now. Snape had shown me how Draco got forced to cooperate and it felt bad to do the same thing the other way around. "you'd only help him" Snape said. Still it didn't feel good, but thinking this all and sensing the pure happiness of everyone around I ran to Draco that day, after considering it. Putted my arm round him and kissed him, he immediately grabbed me and fully kissed back. I almost my balance, but Draco held me up my feet. I felt people watch, mouths fall open. Dumbledore must have smiled a little, while Snape probably looked a bit sad. My friends all must have been in amazement and Fred…was probably happy for me, but confused, I thought. After this we were starting over again. It was a huge party until the early hours. Kammfels what so ever disappeared rather quickly, but the headmaster and Kruml came to congratulate me. When Kruml after that had wanted to go to Hermione, Ron had grabbed her and kissed her at her mouth, he had, astonished of himself, backed off a bit, but Hermione had thrown her arms round his neck and started kissing him back. "Well well" George said "while we're at it, someone who wants to prove his love to me?" Some people laughed and I, the entire evening walked in the company of Draco, more specific, in his arm. I had the honour of receiving the WC-cup and it would get a monumental place in Hogwarts. After the party we told the other schools goodbye and the 5th, 6th an 7th years along with the teachers continued the party back in Hogwarts. I couldn't possibly have counted the amount of congrats I got at one evening and one morning, but the next days I, as well as the rest of he team, received letter from all over the wizarding world who admired our accomplishment of beating Kammfels twice in a row. I was overwhelmed and because nobody dared to ask what exactly was going on with me and Draco the next week made me forget all trouble. Saturday evening, what so ever I reminded myself at my appointment with Dumbledore. While walking to the office of the headmaster I remember how uncertain and almost scared I was to meet him the first time, but he'd been so friendly that not only my respect increased, but also the fear I had for him, which was a strange aspect. A bit like whit Snape really. I knocked at his door and Dumbledore seemed happy "congratulations again with you victory, Joan"

"thank you, professor."

"and as well for the success in you task, duty or faith." the weak smiled I'd had when walking in disappeared, I looked down and said. "it's hurting I hope it doesn't take to long."

"I'll have to disappoint you I'm afraid, Harry and I are going to be busy bit further, but Harry is smart, Joan, it might go faster then I'd think myself."

Like this weeks and weeks passed, just taking classes, still having Quidditch practises for fun, and still together with Draco, although it was quite clear this wasn't what it had been before. I kept having appointments with Dumbledore, but it were short sessions, from a certain moment, he just let Harry inform me of the facts. I only had one task : keeping Draco. I though didn't completely understand Dumbledore and decided in the end of May to go and see him again. "I've got a question, professor." He didn't answer and I knew I just could go on. "the past weeks I've not been doing anything, but letting Voldemort believe Draco and I are still together…I wondered, this is not just a distraction, is it? Professor. I mean, this what so ever will have serious consequences and I though plans were going to mad for fighting him…I.."

"I understand Joan, don't make it to hard on yourself, as the matter of facts, I was going to start this soon. We'll start planning and you need to get to Manson Malfoy this summer, because then you'll be forced to get to Voldemort. And then we can get there and make our battle." I nodded and Dumbledore went on. "try to already puzzle a date for that, ok?" I nodded and before I could ask anything else he said: you look tired, Joan, get some sleep." and before I knew I was chased out of the office.


	30. Chapter 30

Home and back again

**Uncertain vs. certain**

"August the 4th is the day I'll go there, I've already agreed on it with my dad."

"very good, Joan, very good." he stood up and walked to one of the portraits: " Phineas, inform Sirius and the order."

"till your service" the portrait answered, and disappeared.

"good" Dumbledore said when he turned back towards me. "Are you holding on Joan?" in nodded. "and your examinations?"

"will do"

"good, now I want to discus your being at the Malfoy's, you can't by any means gave away that you k now what's going to happen, ok?" I once again nodded. "you'll have to act surprised and scared." and again I nodded. "and this all will happen pretty fast, Joan. You might get to see terrible things, but it is important you do exactly what i told you to do, ok?" I swallowed, but nodded. "then when you're at Voldemort's, you don't need to be afraid, act like Snape has described you, he'll be interested, very interested. To him, you'll be like a lucky charm, he'll want to keep you…" he must have seen a flicker of fear in my eyes, cause he waited a few seconds before he continued, looking at me in a certain concern. But then he continued, "he'll test you and I know you'll pass his test, because you are the girl he's thinking off. Then the order, Harry and your friends, I assume, will come up in the game and run all over, cause you know Joan, He doesn't know, but when Nagini gets killed and he himself defeated by Harry, things could and that very bad for him day. You of course realise that things are a whole lot easier with distraction?" I nodded slowly, curious, but afraid of what was next. "Soon I'll give you more concrete instructions for that very day, but it just might be that his intrigues in you leads him to want to talk with you in private. You could use Muffliato, but you'll need to do it non-verbal. I haven't figured it all quite out, but professor Snape one of these days will give me important information and then I can go on with figuring out." he smiled the last. I nodded, slowly letting his words come through. " now that's enough for today, isn't it?" I still slowly nodded and when I, a few minutes later walked to the common room I thought of what he'd just said and couldn't hide from myself the fear it called for me. But the week that followed I didn't let anyone know, it hurt me that I couldn't even tell Harry, but I didn't. I still laughed with the twins and Lee, but I quite often was absent. Since Ron and Hermione, and Harry and Ginny now were two pairs it seemed no less then normal that I didn't disturb them to much. Though Draco and I were back together we didn't see each other that much, since the examinations started the week afterwards. During the examination I nor Harry went to Dumbledore at his own advise. The examinations, as I strangely enough had expected, were good and I passed easily. The twins and Lee now could quit school, they were graduated and the twins had putted their money together, and I had given mine to, for starting their shop: Weasley's Wizard Wheezes. I what so ever didn't feel like planning my future yet, it would gave bad feelings, because the uncertainty of the future itself. That evening I went to Dumbledore's office. After a whole lot of planning for the entire 4th August. He said at a careful tone, which made me suspicious. "according to our very loyal source" he nodded towards Snape, who just came into the office and responded the nod with a face saying, "ok ok, now get over it"

" Voldemort wants to, and I must say I'm impressed that he'll give it a try, he'll try to use your love for Draco. He might hurt him, Joan, at this point it might be better to…even get more of his interest and act, like you're not impressed." I looked at him with a terrible shocked expression "What?" But the face of Dumbledore said it all, I'd started this and I should end it the good way for the sake of all wizards. So I just easily nodded with a pain, indescribable. I hadn't really seen Snape in a while and couldn't help myself and looked up towards Snape. He'd read the pain in my eyes and gave me a little, weak, supporting smile.

The next day I started packing, Dumbledore told me, my father had been in the school after I had left. Dumbledore had partly explained what happened, he'd been concerned, scared and even mad at Dumbledore, "but in the end he actually turned proud." Snape told me when I visited him in the dungeons. Since I'd soon leave and might not see the man anymore it felt as I had to said goodbye to a friend, but on the other hand I'd felt uncomfortable.

At the station I hugged each of my friends firmly and promised them we'd meet soon. Then I kissed Draco and then walked to my father accompanied by Mayjin. I had to admire my dad, he'd hid his concern and began off how big and beautiful Mayjin was. I smiled at him and when we were home I said: "don't worry dad, he won't hurt me" and I kissed him goodnight. It apparently helped, the next days he seemed a little more relaxed in some way. And easily weeks passed, weeks of writing letters and playing with Mayjin. In these weeks a strange feeling, which I couldn't place, came over me. I came through the weeks thinking of all my friends and most happy moments. Then I realised these were weeks of depression…

Then the end of July came and both me and my father took off to the Burrow. Molly and Arthur both were in the order and already knew all about the plan. We celebrated Harry's birthday and no-one seemed to mind or question my fathers presence. My friends all seemed so happy and they made me smile, but in some way I didn't, at all feel happy.


	31. Chapter 31

Home and back again

**Moment of truth**

The first of August Dumbledore arrived in the burrow, and the only members not knowing of it yet (Fred, George, Ginny, Ron, Hermione and Lee who was invited to) immediately sensed something was wrong. But Dumbledore first seated in the coach and drank some tea. After half an hour, in which every person in the Burrow felt uncertain and scared, Dumbledore looked at me and nodded, I nodded back and he did the same with Harry. After that, Dumbledore stood up and gestured for the others to sit down. Molly, Arthur and the other adults made appear some chairs. And in a few minutes the entire living room was filled with chairs, everyone sat close to one another and sat like an audience in front of Dumbledore, who was standing.If he had wanted to couldn't sit, because the lack of space. "good" Dumbledore spoke as soon as everyone went quiet. "As you all noticed the entire order of the phoenix is present here. So I'd think you already made the link to Voldemort. Well you're right. Three days from now our beloved Joan will leave the Burrow and start our plan. People of the order, you're all informed of that already, though I nor Joan can tell you what the purpose of that is, it is important no-one knows, as it is important, and you all know that, that Harry defeats Voldemort." I felt the concerned looks when Dumbledore went on explaining that he knew there wouldn't be to much death eaters and it would almost be easy to defeat him. I'd heard the plan over a hundred times the months before, but carefully listened, while thinking how Snape had taught me, in those same months to use occlumenty at his best. I'd been very tensioned, but hearing it over an over again made me relax just a little bit more, I knew the talking over and over again about this had the same effect on Harry, as I glared over to him. After a while Dumbledore had told it all and asked for questions. "yes, Fred"

"professor…eum What exactly do you mean with Joan will start the plan?"

"ah, like I said Fred I'm afraid we can't talk about, and don't go asking Joan, Fred, it would only hurt her to not be able to tell you." Fred now looked at me and I turned my eyes down, which said enough. "any other questions?" I had a question, but didn't want to get any more attention, luckily, which I should have known, Hermione did. "professor?" Dumbledore now looked at the girl and nodded, with a slide bit of amusement, because he could have foreseen it. "How is Harry suppose to fight Voldemort if he can't use magic?"

"excuse me?" Harry asked, a bit offended.

"it's out of school and you, Ron, me, Ginny, Joan?" I nodded, "are still under aged."

Dumbledore smile "indeed, miss Granger, but Voldemort has his connections and has been smart enough, or stupid enough to give his hiding the same protection Hogwarts has, so the magic that is used in this place, is not registered."

"How do you know all of these things for sure?"

"I have my sources, but they're of no importance now." I knew these very important "sources" were just in all Snape and had to smile a bit.

"Where is Joan going then?"

"we can't tell you that and it in fact is of no importance." Dumbledore calmly answered. And after another half an hour all questions were answered and members of the order began to go home. The following hours I was busy refusing to tell anyone about August the 4th, while packing my bags, I let all the precious things behind and only took one extra outfit, for the rest I filled it with stupid things and a letter.

"goddamn it Fred NO I CAN'T TELL YOU!!" looking into his shocked eyes, my hard and mad expression turned softer. "I'm sorry mate, but I really can't." Fred turned his eyes down, "ok" it was the day before I'd leave and Fred now, without looking me in the eyes took my hand and led my to the twins' room. "Joan…" he started. "I…since I can't know what you're going to be doing there, I don't know whether I'll see you back.." he swallowed and it was clear this was though for him, but I didn't find the courage to go towards him and put my arm round him. "I…I think I should tell you, because, you know, this might be my last chance and all, so…euhm, you remember I once told you I love you like a sister?" I startled a bit, but nodded, then I realised he didn't look at me so I had to use my, not at all steady voice: "yeah"

"well, it was true… but it's not anymore…I mean" I now really got uncomfortable as he went on. "I …I think I really love you…" as if relieved to finally have said it he looked up to my shocked face and before I could answer he went on. "I know you loved Draco…you still do and stuff, but well, yeah, I thought.."

"oh Fred! I…I didn't know you…you never…" I now stopped talking to and we stood there, now looking into each others eyes I stepped forwards and gave him a hug he gladly accepted. We stood there for a long time and then I decided to go to bed. Although it was getting later and later, I couldn't sleep_. _

"_I know you loved Draco…still do…I think I should tell you, because, you know, this might be my last chance…I think I really love you…" I _did still love Draco, that was true, but circumstances would make it impossible to stay together and Fred…I might just love him to.

Half past two how ever I succeeded in falling a sleep. Six hours later a gentle hand on my shoulder and Fred's voice woke me up. "come and have breakfast, then you can…leave." I felt his sadness and did something I hadn't quite expected myself to do. I threw my arm round hi neck, while sitting up a bit from the bed. I touched his lips with mine and the surprised Fred reacted as if waited for years, with kissing me back. I let myself fall back down in the bed, keeping my arms round him. When I broke the kiss he looked at me, only hanging a few inches above me, looking in surprise an misunderstanding, but I only could give him a smile as answer, because it was the only possible answer, since I myself didn't know why I did it, but did know I'd liked it. He weakly smiled back and got downstairs where I got a few minutes later. During breakfast I kept my eyes strongly at my food, knowing everyone was looking at me. The entire order arrived in the burrow again, they'd all wait for my signal, I remembered myself. Everyone wished me good luck, not knowing what I exactly would be doing. Dumbledore smiled while shaking my hand and he winked. After that I put my bag in the fireplace, took some flew power, stepped in the fireplace myself and called for Mayjin to come with me. I grabbed Mayjin's fur and made sure the bag was stuck between my feet. Then I threw the flew power at the floor and yelled: "Dhanes place!" I knew everyone was surprised to hear that, but I couldn't give away Draco was into it as well. And I knew for sure I'd seen Dumbledore smile at it again. Appearing in the fireplace at home I immediately went further to Mansion Malfoy. "Joan!" Narcissa called, I knew she was against using me, she'd always liked me more then Lucius had. I hugged and kissed her and also kissed Lucius and then threw myself at Draco. Mayjin greeted him happily to. "hi there Mayjin" he smiled and I knew he'd forgotten all a second. The whole day long I, Mayjin and Draco hung around, I knew this as well for him as for me felt as a farewell. In the evening at dinner I felt a bit of a tension and tried my best not to look tensioned myself, in which I pretty good succeeded. After dinner Lucius told us to get to bed early, because we'd be going somewhere the next morning. So Draco and I went upstairs followed by Mayjin. When he closed the door behind me, I felt insecure and guilty. I turned around and Draco started kissing me, like never before, if I wouldn't have known I would now have guessed something was wrong. Instead of asking I kissed him back. This could our last time together, this could be his last time with me in his life, this could be the last time I ever kissed. Even if I didn't die, people, would not at all still appreciate us being together. Struggled in a passionate kiss and sad feelings we fell on the bed, the moments that followed, could not be interpreted by anything else then a last farewell between lovers, between the tears, I as well as him enjoyed each other, held on for each other for the hours we still could…

The next morning Lucius wake us up, I was awake before he got in and was surprised to see, that he was hurt a bit when he saw me laying Draco's arms. He knew we really loved each other, but he was afraid of his lord. He told us to get down for breakfast. We took quite some time, cause I kissed him again. After a quiet breakfast, during which I constantly looked at Draco and smiled, but he was serious and troubled. Lucius suggested to get ready and when all agreed we, we would leave by flew powder. I was happy I could take Mayjin with me, because my fear was coming back now. I first went back upstairs "to get ready". I quickly combed my hair and took the little piece of mirror Dumbledore had given me, I looked at it for a while and then saw Dumbledore, looking trough the another part of the mirror, being much bigger, which caused me to see even more people, I looked at all of their concerned looks. I, my eye, stood above the fireplace and stared at them, then I, and in the burrow a huge eye turned to Dumbledore and a voice, whispering said, "it's time, we're leaving here." Dumbledore nodded, "I'll give you half an hour" I nodded and put the little mirror in my pocket. I then looked at the letter I'd put in my suitcase and read it again, not sure if I wanted it to stay there.

_Dear Draco,_

_I found out, I know now that you're just a part of a trap for me…whether I get hurt or not, I can't ever be with you again, it hurts, my love. It's a short letter to say goodbye, a goodbye I wont be able to tell you in your face. Bye my love, I've always loved you and in spite of all I always will.._

_Much love,_

_Joan_

I swallowed, but thought of my friends, counting on me and went down stairs. Without any fear, and what must have seemed like out of full trust, stepped in the fireplace.

I stepped out of it, followed by Mayjin in a high dark place, Draco appeared behind me. "Draco, honey where are we?"

"you'll see" Lucius answered and I grabbed Draco's hand just to have this last feeling of him. He was scared I saw it, no matter how hard he tried to hide it. He couldn't look me in the eye. I felt a little let down, he was to afraid to warn me, couldn't even look into my eyes, wasn't it true love after all? But I looked at Lucius, he was scared to, but somehow seemed pleased, as if he was little child knowing he'd soon get a lollypop. "

"Where's Narcissa?"

"doesn't matter" I lifted my eyebrows and knew we'd soon be there, so I just followed Lucius through the dark corridors. "aaaaaaaaah Lucius" a high, cold voice sounded throughout the entire building when Lucius opened the door. I, giving the expression of curiosity now came through the door and curiously looked around, but made my expression shocked seeing a man, lots like a snake standing in front of me. I hadn't seen him coming so the shocked expression wasn't hard to keep. He held his head a bit canted while biting his lip. He clearly was interested, I held my breath and kept the same expression, but looked at Draco, who's eyes turned wet. "good job Draco, good job" I gave Draco a hurt look and then stared straight into the other one's red eyes. If he would have had eyebrows he would have raised them. "interesting, Joan" he whispered and I narrowed my eyes, it was easier then I'd thought it would be to look mad into his eyes. "Lucius" he said, while still staring into my eyes. "go to the others and take Draco with you." the two blond guys left. When they were gone Voldemort stepped back a bit and looked at me, "what do you think Joan?"

"excuse me?"

"of my house?"

"Well it's a lot like it's owner." the expression on Voldemort's face was hard to read. He turned around with his arms up and I quickly grabbed the little mirror. "this house, Joan, is big, powerful, strong, indestructible…" I looked in the mirror, turned it at Voldemort, put it away and then answered. "not really, I don't think it's indestructible...it's big, yes, powerful, yes, but also cold, dark and at itself." Voldemort let his eyes go from my face to my feet and back up again. I felt how he tried to get through my memories and thoughts, but blocked him easier then I'd done it with Snape. And Voldemort seemed impressed. He again began to walk around in the room and I non-verbal did Muffliato at the door where Lucius and Draco had vanished. I knew it wouldn't hold to long since death eaters had their own way of communicating. I, in a strange way, felt I'd only been just in time with the Muffliato-charm. I looked back at Voldemort, who was still walking up and down the room all of the sudden with a surprisingly high speed and the smoothness of a snake, he stood in front of me again, his face inches from mine. But I didn't blink "you're a bit brutal, Joan" he whispered.

"some people like that a bout me" his eyes widened again.

"What if I don't, Joan?"

"then I'm afraid we wouldn't get along to good" He made a strange, angry sound and then, with his eyes even more red then before he warned: "People don't get to chose whether they want to serve me or not!" I raised my eyebrows and gave the expression not to be impressed. I saw he was intrigued by me and admired, a bit, my calmness. "the ones who don't want to serve, Joan, they die, you know that…I'll give you another chance because I think you'd be great in my service."

"in you service? I'd only be a traitor among your many scared people." I said, staring into his eyes, prepared for his attack I just in time avoided the green flash, diving away I de-activated the Muffliato charm and Bellatrix voice drew Voldemort's attention. "lord! Avada kedavra! Lord! Crucio! Lord please…" but I listened the familiar voiced. Hermione yelled "Stupefy!"

"reducto!" Ginny yelled.

"expelliarmus!" Harry yelled and I bit my lip.

"Stupefy!"Fred and George both at the same time yelled and I was glad to hear that.

Voldemort looked at me, but I acted as if I was as surprised as him, apparently he believed me, but what he did after that shocked me. Draco ran by and Voldemort aimed for him: "Crucio!"

"Aaarrgh" Draco's screaming went trough my soul and Voldemort looked at me, "love is a weakness, Joan, you need to be strong, you'll be one of mine I'll make sure of that! I'll kill all of your friends if you don't, but Joan, you hung out to much with Dumbledore for to long, listened to long to his stupid ideas!" he spat, my eyes turned wet a bit when I heard Draco's moans of pain. "you probably think, just like him that love is the answer to all? I'll have to disappoint you, Joan! I got you here, because of love it was your weakness" to strengthen his words he gestured his wand and Draco flew to the other side of the room, against the wall, Draco yelled in pain and I couldn't bare it, I wanted to go towards him, but the only way to save Draco's life, was proving Voldemort wrong, so I looked back into the red eyes and spat "I'll never serve you, Voldemort" his nose widened and his mouth narrowed, "you don't want to make me mad!"

"is that so?"

"when I'm mad I feel the need to kill!"

"really? I thought you needed me?"

"hahaha!" he laughed in madness, but he was desperate and scared, so a smug smile appeared on my face.

"what's wrong Voldie?" I teased. He got madder and madder and in just a few second I felt I'd gone to far and immediately felt regrets, with all my heart…it happened so fast. It was as if Voldemort would explode and in the seconds that followed I was no more then a viewer, who wished nothing more then this to be a bad dream. Voldemort lifted Draco up in the air, higher and Draco's eyes met mine, while he whispered "sorry" I shook my head and tears welled up into my eyes when I realised Voldemort was to mad to stop now, I ran towards Draco, When standing underneath him tears of me and of him fell down my face: "Draco! NOO stop it you sun of a bitch!" I yelled to Voldemort, but looked back to Draco before he started talking.

"you see now, girl, see now that he's your weakness? haha!! What did you think that he was going to marry you? A Gryffindor, I would have gotten between it, you know I would and could!"

" no stop" I softly whispered, "Draco!" I pulled my strength out of my sorrow to yell at him. "I...unh…l-l-l-ove...you" he swallowed in pain "…Joan…I.." but he couldn't finish the sentence, Voldemort let him fall all the way down, I wanted to catch him, but jus out of my reach Voldemort changed Draco's course and dropped beside me, yelling: "haha, that's how it'll always be, Joan! Just out off you reach!" I, sobbing, knelt down next to the shaking Draco and stroke him face."...always will" Draco continued his sentence.

"Draco? Draco, stay with me baby, I love you! I love you, I do, I do, please" I bowed my head over the nearly death boy I'd loved, even when he appeared to be a pone to get to me. "Joan?"

Yes?" his arms in pain straightened, but I didn't feel the pain and pressed my lips against his. Then I looked in his wet I, having tears in my eyes "I forgive you"I sobbed and didn't notice Voldemort had come closer, "It only makes all weak" he said. "Avada kedavra!" the shaking body in my arms stopped every movement and felt empty, Voldemort easily turned around and walked away leaving me in the dark room, alone with my death boyfriend and the sound of my friends fighting. I looked in to the open green-grey eyes. I'd loved him from the moment I saw him, this blond boy. He laid there, motionless in my arms, shaking because of my crying. I'd hoped it wouldn't have come to this, I'd hope he would have turned back home, read my letter, loved me, missed me and cried for me, like I would for him, now it wasn't my choice to leave him, he'd left me, left the world, I never ever would see his smirk or smile in real again. As I stared in to his eyes, knowing this would be the last time I stroke his face. I'd never accidentally walk in on him, I'd always have to live with the fact that he died at way to young age. Thinking it all I only cried harder and louder, the sobbing now in echo came back trough room. He'd never find the letter, never know that I'd known, never know I was involved as well, and that I loved him for all times. He wouldn't read my last letter to him, he'd never come back to me, never kiss me again Who'd find the letter anyway? Not Draco…no Draco…Draco is gone, not just gone, death because of me. I grasped for air and went on sobbing of the handsome body, I hugged the body, but there came no arms around me, he couldn't, even if he would have wanted to, hug me, ever again…ever. I now screamed out my sorrow while softly swinging with Draco's body in my arms, I screamed and yelled, and swore I'd heard Voldemort laugh "weak! Weak!" but I didn't care, the person I loved more then anything in my entire life was…death. Someone grabbed my shoulders and pulled me up, away from my beloved Draco, I turned around and fell into Fred arms. His eyes concerned focused on Draco's body. He let go and closed the eyes I just had seen for the last time.


	32. Chapter 32

Home and back again

**Then it's all over**

Fred had guided me to the room were the others were fighting, coming in I just saw Tonks turning around with her arms open, this way avoiding a curse, and cursing right back to the surprised death eater. Voldemort looked at me and smiled, "aahh strengthened already?"

"by love!" I responded and for a second we duelled, but then again Voldemort now whipped Snape to the wall, "I figured since he was with you, you might like him to" but before I could do anything, Harry jumped between us and I ran to Snape. Getting there though seemed harder then expected. All over the place people were duelling, I got to Snape and saw he was hurt, but alive. "professor?" Snape looked up and had a sort of a smile on his face. "he.. He just killed Draco" Snape now had a bit of a shocked expression.

"sorry to hear" I nodded in response.

"are you in pain, professor?" I asked concerned

"I think the headmaster would agree if I told you to call me Severus now, Joan" I smiled and nodded. "you seem a lot like you mother."

"professor?"

"you do"

"I don't get it…Severus"

"well you not at all look like your father." what exactly happened there I don't know, I just somehow looked up to my father, he was fighting and saw me watching. After paralyzing his enemy he came towards me and Snape "you alright ?" he asked and I slowly nodded. "Joan, what's wrong?" I looked up, into his eyes and asked: "do I look like mum?" he was astonished and didn't answer for then he looked at Snape and his eyes widened a bit. "yeah, you do" I somehow felt like something should be explained, but a death eater changed my plans in asking for it. My father took on him and because my sorrow quite fast was changing into anger, I wanted to revenge Draco, but Harry should defeat him, so I ran to Bellatrix, who was fighting Sirius and Lupin, but Lucius came to help her, he blasted Lupin off and Sirius now was fighting Lucius and Bellatrix. I jumped next to Sirius and fought Bellatrix while Sirius fought Lucius. Sirius and I a few minutes later fought back to back, "you alright, Joan?" he yelled.

"as good as can be, Sirius!" I yelled back and then badly cursed Bellatrix "this is for your own nephew, bitch!" I had thrown all anger and sorrow I had at her and she fell backwards. "good job, Joan!" Sirius yelled and I turned around to help him on Lucius. "hi there, dad!" I yelled I anger, but Lucius didn't gave anything away. "your own damn son is death, and you don't even seem to care! I loved him more then you did!" now I did get reaction out of Lucius "What should I have done then? There was more of a chance he'd die if he didn't do it."

"don't you understand?! Your son just died, he just die right in my arms, killed by your "Lord" he died and the last thing on his freaking conscience was to lie to his girlfriend, whom he, if you didn't notice LOVED!" I screamed, a moment he seemed overwhelmed, but then got probably out of guilt, I thought. When Lucius tried to curse me all of the sudden Mayjin jumped on him and bite him, Lucius seriously hurt managed to get in a fireplace, Mayjin following him and wounding him, until he was gone. "not a magical creature, right?" Both appalled Sirius and I stood there. "not a magical creature, right?" I said and Sirius smiled, "you ok?" I nodded he threw his arm round me, looked me in the eye and wanted to say something. Suddenly, completely unexpected Voldemort screamed. And everyone looked up, most of the death eaters were defeated and he was getting desperate seeing a smug Harry in front of him. The following event happened to fast to follow or tell, but as soon as it happened we all realised Harry had won and Voldemort's time was over. Everyone yelled and cheered Harry. After putting Voldemort and all death eaters in a row at the biggest room of the house, with Bellatrix at Voldemort's right side, Fred and I went back to the room we'd left Draco. Fred shook my shoulder and then kneeled to lift Draco. He carefully carried him back, where everyone's happy face turned into shock and compassion. I got many hugs, but just wanted to go home and cry for Draco. So it happened, the victory on Voldemort was celebrated, whilst a sort of a funeral for Draco, I cried and cried the entire evening, the next day, week, month. I cried and isolated, because I missed and loved him and I killed him. The next year at school was frustrated, I only had a few classes over at Harry, Hermione and Ron's year left, no twins or Draco to cheer me up. As lucky as I'd been in the beginning of the past year, as unhappy I was now. With Harry having Ginny and Ron and Hermione having each other I, more and more took walks with Mayjin or visited as well Dumbledore as Snape. But also hours a day laid in my bed and stared at the ceiling seeing Draco in Snape's office, at the stairs, the holidays, at his home, at my home, at the lake, at our so many detentions together, potions and defence against the dark arts classes together, the train, the letters-which I could practically rehearse because I'd read them over and over again. his smile, smirk, kiss, touch, hair, hug, arm, …every little bit off him came back to me and stayed with me, every emotion, every touch or part of him, his face, mouth, eye…dead eye. Everyday I tried to talk to him, knowing it was impossible. But I everyday did, I talked aloud, like to him and it comforted me, by the end of the year I was a bit less isolated, but still. It was my last year and it had past, slow and following a daily routine. Hermione, Ron and Harry often had wondered or noticed, but also understood and let me be. When going home for the holidays it was as if they didn't know me anymore. At home it was the exact same thing, I just laid on my bed, all day. halfway July and only two weeks before Draco was death a year, I got a letter from Snape inviting me over, my father had looked insecure, but let me go. So two days later I arrived in

Hogwarts and got greeted by all teachers. Then Snape took me with him back to the dungeons. "Joan" he started. "you father and I agree that you've got the right to know how exactly I knew about you looking like your mother." I looked up and he went on: "I knew your mother Joan"

"excuse me? I mean...how is that possible, she was in Am…"

"not quite"

"what?"

"I knew our mum very well and believe it or not, Joan, I, like any other man like beautiful women." my mouth kind off fell open while I listened to the rest. "never wondered why this connection between us was that strong?"

"I thought we figured that out already!"

"we did, yes, but how come you look so much like me?" I shook my head, I knew what he was going to say and didn't want to hear it. "your father saw you the first time when you were 2years old, Joan." We just sat there over an hour and I decided to return home after that. He was disappointed a bit, I could see that, but I just, in spite of the fact that I'd always liked him, couldn't bare the thought off Snape being my biological father. I stood up and when standing at the door I turned around, frowned and looked at him. He looked surprised and I asked. "if you are…then why didn't you ever write me or visited me?"

"I'm very sorry, Joan, but after your mum's death this all was so easy…"

I nodded and stepped out off his office, to leave back home, to my father. The years after that I felt sorrow and pain. I quite often saw 'Severus' he visited me a lot and when I decided to leave home and live at my own I saw him more then my "real" father. I isolated, other then Mayjin, my father, Severus and sometimes Dumbledore, nobody ever saw me. But exact five year after Draco's death I went to the Burrow. Molly who was extremely happy to see me, kept me in there five days and visited all her suns, Hermione and Harry over. These days pulled me back into life. Vife years I had been nothing but a body, wondering around on a cruel world, five years and then five days with my friends to softly pull me back.

But now, so many years later, writing this all down, I know that every night tears still fall out of my eyes. Everyday I still see Draco Malfoy's smirk and smile in front of me. And when I think of him I can daydream for hours and whilst smile at it, but always end in pain and tears, because I always remembered his death as good as the beautiful moments we had. Wile I type these very last words of my story about Draco Malfoy, Fred Weasley's chin rests at my shoulder. I'd never expected him to accept my sorrow for Draco so good, I love Fred a lot, but still miss Draco. The five days at the burrow pulled me back into my live, Fred did…"it's been ten years I tell him at the 4th of August, and then he, just as in the old days gives me a hug, now followed by a kiss, I don't want children, because they'd remind me of Draco, I'm still a bit isolated and still thing of my true love, but I have moments of fun, it's impossible not to, living together with the twins and Angelique. We're the four owners of the shop, but I'm the only one they barely see. I'm an example of a once so strong girl that is broken to the end. I'm ending the story now, the story of love, true love, that never ended.


	33. Chapter 33

Home and back again

**The years in between and after**

"Stay, Joan, please" Molly repeated and I finally agreed. She got me into bed and immediately started sending letters. I though fell a sleep and didn't notice my friends arriving that very evening. The next morning I Was surprised, but happy to see them all and hugged them one by one. Each hugging long, but Fred the longest. After breakfast we went outside, the two off us.

"so how are you keeping up?"

"alright I guess, this is the first time I see you all in four years."

"you still miss him don't you?"

"I still love him."

"hmm"

"so how are you guys all doing?"

"o great, Ron and Hermione got married and Harry and Ginny got married to. Lee and some girl live together, George has Angelique and We have the shop."

"Fred?" I said after a long silence.

"hmm"

"I want to thank you." he looked at me and I stopped walking. I didn't feel like explaining and just hugged him for a long, long time. After that I barely spoke to anyone the days that followed. After five years of almost not talking it was hard to speak to my, so happy friends again. After the five days I went back home, but visited each of my friends at least once a month, so I slowly socialised again. At the end of the year Molly invited me over for Christmas. It felt funny since I was the only one, not being a part of the family. Since Harry and Hermione were married to the family now. I was a fun evening and I went to bed late. A couple of hours later Fred woke me. "Joan?"

"hmm"

"you awake?"

"now I am...What time is it?"

"ow..sorry..6o'clock."

"I only got in half past four!" I moaned.

"I know" he smiled, "no need to get up…I just wanted to tell you something." I sat up and looked at him. "I know you still love Draco, Joan, but I've loved you as long, longer as you have missed him, and missed you that long as well. I think you need to go on in life, Joan"

"I know, Fred, I know, but I can't." he seemed very hurt, but so was I, so I turned around and went to sleep, but I didn't sleep. Fred had always been there for me and I loved him, but being with him would feel as if I cheated on Draco. After thinking for hours straight I stood up out of bed, left my room and headed for the one of the twins. It was ten o'clock and everyone still was a sleep, I entered the room which contained two beds. One containing George and Angelique, who'd been very nice to me and the other containing Fred. I sat down at the board of the bed and kissed his forehead. He opened his eyes and looked into mine. "I'm sorry...I…I love you to…" he didn't care for my uncertainty, he just threw his arms round me and pulled me down and then kissed me. I kissed him back, it was a kiss showing love, emotion, need and passion. Then I got under the blankets and put my head at his chest. I could almost feel Fred's luck and happiness. The next morning I was surprised not to see amazed faces, but everyone looked as if they just were happy it finally happened. Four months later I moved in with Fred, George and Angelique. George and Angelique got a sun, Ron and Hermione, Harry and Ginny got children to, as did Lee, who came by once a week. But Fred agreed in not having children, I don't know why exactly, but I didn't want any kids, it probably had something to do with Draco's death, in a way it was weird to still feel all this sorrow for a boy, sixteen year old, while living with Fred and being over twenty years old, but I did. Though I missed him not a day went by without people being surprised of how Fred and I kept the same love for each other we had ten years earlier. On the other hand no matter how much I loved and cared for Fred, no matter how much I enjoyed his kisses and touches, not a day went by without thinking of Draco, of his touch, kiss and smile. But after another five years I still wasn't who I used to be. There always was a bit of sorrow over me. I started coming in the shop once in a while, and had family dinners at the burrow's, my friends and family accepted the fact that I wasn't so full of energy anymore, more importantly the understood. Other people on the other hand still saw Joan Dhanes as a girl, fragile, but strong that led Hogwarts to victory, challenged the potions master and started a relation ship with a Slytherin and actually made everyone accept it. People saw me as the incredible girl, I might have once been, maybe, but all in all, I was an ordinary girl, just having goals, wanting to do something and achieve something. Now there is nothing to achieve, I always thought, no goal, no fighting.

Note: the story continues after this.


End file.
